Less Than Perfect

The Pageant was musty and beautiful… in the underground kind of way. And then there were the faces peering up through the haze of cigarette smoke. They were only a foot away but it was like there was a layer of frosted glass that had materialized between us. This was only sound check.

I ran to go send this afternoon’s ice cream cone to its watery grave.

There was a certain tension between my band mates that they seemed to be leaving me out of, but that was okay. Who needs more uncomfortable situations anyway?

The show was... well not so amazing. I twirled like an ice skater and leapt around like some kind of anime fairy as always. When you know that you’re never going to see the faces again it becomes so much easier to let yourself be vulnerable. Before I knew it, it was over and I was busting in on more awkward moments in the van as we set off for Springfield, Illinois.

Elliot told me I was too happy and I didn’t know what he was talking about. I touched my face and realized there was an enthused smile stretched across my teeth that I didn’t even know was there. I’m detached. I hadn’t spoken to Thom yet. I tried to call him for the sixth time but once again heard a silly voicemail where my laughter could be heard ringing out happily over Thom’s happy shoulder. Happy.

We were back on the road again so I put my thoughts aside to listen to the slow chatter amongst my friends. I pulled a blanket around me and snuggled into Teagan preparing to sleep for the rest of the drive.
***
“Wake up sleepy face!” Elliot said shaking my shoulder gently.

“Eh I’m tired Ell leave me alone,” I yawned.

He sighed and scooped me out of the seat with one quick swipe of the arms. Some kid named Jordan led everyone through what seemed to be a labyrinth of hallways till we reached a room with a queen sized bed in it. Elliot laid me down and followed the guys out the door. It appeared I was sharing a bed with Kai. I didn’t really care that she kicked and fell asleep instantly.

Thom’s finger tips just barely grazed my outstretched palm in a horrible dream where we couldn’t quite reach each other. I wasn’t anywhere except reaching for my Thom, but he kept fading. Then the space around me shook and he faded more. Each time everything shook violently he became more translucent.

“Damn it,” I muttered as Kai gave my shoulders a final shake in an attempt to wake me up.

“Up, up, up!” she whined urgently.

“I’m up,” I insisted and rolled off the edge of the bed to land on a lush purple rug.

I sat there a minute waiting for my eyes to adjust and was slowly able to take in my surroundings. The bed we had slept on the previous night/morning was a big four poster and all the furniture in the room was a deep mahogany color.

“Where the hell are we,” I asked Kai incredulously.

“Oh you’re gonna like these people,” she said with a knowing smile.

We trekked down the long hallway outside our room and up a flight of stairs. There in the kitchen stood the most peculiar person I had ever seen before. I honestly couldn’t tell if this kid was a guy or a girl… no lie! Their hair was longish and unkempt, but in the way takes hours of teasing to achieve and the jeans... well they could have been mine. Not to mention I was living proof that a flat chest doesn't make you a guy.

“Hello!” I said smiling and extending a hand “I apologize for the way I just conked out last night. I’m Pax.”

“Oh don’t worry about it,” this kid says waving off my comment “My name’s Jordan btw.”

Oh God. This kid just said ‘btw’ in normal conversation. And their speaking didn’t help me at all in determining their gender.

I looked around pleadingly to my friends while trying to avoid the eager face of Jordan. Finally Kade obliged to mouth ‘boy’ over Jordan’s shoulder. I could have kissed him. Like I needed and extra chance to make me look stupid.

“So Jordan, where are your parents?” I asked attempting small talk.

“Oh you just missed them. They went to go support Corporate America,” he said in a would-be-disappointed tone.

I looked down at my watch that read 12:15 PM.

“Holy shit guys! Why did you let me sleep so long?!” I demanded of room.

“Eh you looked tired… want a breakfast burrito,” Jordan said pulling the frozen treat out of no where.

“Oh no thanks dear, I’m not really hungry,” I lied but my tummy chose that moment to growl particularly loud.

Honestly though what was the point of eating something like a burrito when I know it was just going to come back up? My throat couldn’t take any more damage tonight for he show.
But then I was distracted by a rhythmic buzzing coming from my the waist band of my sweatpants.

“Hello?” I said eagerly into my cell phone and ran from the room to know one’s objection.

“Hey baby. How are you? I miss you,” said into a speaker hundreds of miles away.

“I miss you too,” I whispered “you never called me yesterday.”

“Oh yeah I forgot my phone at home yesterday. “

“That’s okay I’m just so happy to hear your voice!”

I went on to tell Thom about the adventures we had encountered so far and all the people we had met. I finally hung up reluctantly after many ‘I love yous’. I returned back to my friends with a wide grin on my face. I wasn’t obsessed with Thom he just made me so happy.

“Kay guys who’s ready for one kick ass day?” I asked them happily.