Born to Kill

"Stop stuffing yourself Hailey," was the words that rang out through the kitchen as I came in and tossed my bag on the floor and scrummaged for something small to eat in the kitchen. a grape or something! I had not really ate in days and my stomach was beginning to hurt and I really needed something to make the pain stop. I was pretty weak from the lack of food in my system, that for once I ignored the words from my father and continued to search! You were never to ignore Mister Valencia or the repercussions would be horrible! So, I should have known what would come next but i was too hungry to notice or even to care. Plus I was weak from the days without food and there was just so much that one girl could take. Especially one as frail as me. Then that was when I felt it, a stinging sensation on my left shoulder that made tears come to my eyes.

Normally, I tried never to give my father the satisfaction of tears but it hurt worse today. I was weaker and so the pain was horrible! I bit my lip to keep from screaming and I didn't answer or look at him because the tears were shinning bright in my eyes. But then I felt the pain again and again and I toppled over and finally I looked back at him, the tears now falling down my face. "Please...father stop..I'm hungry," I cried out, unsure of what to do next but then he slapped me in my face and I flinched away, scooting back but that only caused him to punch me in my face. I sucked in a breath as he screamed at me some more. "Don't you dare ignore me again and stop being a giant baby!" I closed my eyes, forgetting where I was and found my happy place, where the words and the pain didn't exist anymore. The happy place where me and Andre lived happy together, no father...no pain! No sadness. It was a dream and one I'd never get to really have. Not that I wanted it because Andrea was fucking annoying but it was better than this shit!

Then the pain came back, as he yanked at my hair and pulled me back into the now. I yelled and began flinging my arms desperately trying to get away but it only made it worse before he slammed me into the ground. It was that moment that I heard the voice of my mother yell out as she ran into the kitchen from work and put herself in front of me. I stared at the brunette woman that I loved dearly, at this moment, as my father slapped her, "Move you bitch!" it was then that I began to pass out from all the pain but the last thing I heard before I didn't hear a thing was my mother's screams.

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I don't know how long it was but I awoke on a soft bed and a familiar surrounding. One that I loved too much for my own good. It was the safety of my room and I felt happy in here. The pain was ringing in my ears as I tried to sit up before falling back into the pillows. I gave out a huff of exhaustion as I looked to my nightstand to see a note and a bottle of Tylanol.

Hey baby bear, I'm sorry I wasn't home and I have to get to work but I'll be home soon. Just avoid father and stay in your room. I'll be home before you know it. Promise. Take some medicine and try to get some rest and eat something. Love, little lion.

Reading the small note made a smile appear on my lips as I looked at the clock. It was almost time for Andre to be home! I was excited and I took the medicine with the glass of water that sat next to them before seeing the bowl of grapes and munching on them. I was too hungry not to, Though I was mentally yelling at myself as I did it. The thoughts came out in my fathers berating yells and after about two grapes I pushed the bowl to the side and laid there on my bed, staring at my open window, waiting to see the familiar and loving mop of hair as well and the familiar sound of his car!

I pulled my legs up and thought of the past events of the afternoon before reminding myself I need to get the bag when Andre came home. Homework was due the next day..not that I was going to school. There was no way in hell that my father would let me go to school in this condition! Then I heard his car and a few minutes later saw his head and his hair as I sat up and waited..very impatiently! I couldn't help it, I missed andre and I needed the feeling of his arms around me and the soothing words he gave me. It wasn't really him I wanted....but the feeling that someone cared.

A feeling of numbness had enveloped me over the years and I didn't really care for any one person anymore but more about the feelings i got out of it! I needed that pick me up he gave me that made me feel like I was on top of the world again. So far, I had no other way to get that feeling back but through Andre. Sometimes seeing my father hit my mother and brother kind of made those feelings come because it meant that I wasn't alone in that aspect. I know deep down that I'm special and I just always seem to need that reassurance and it was Andre that gave it to me. So, I was smiling when my door finally opened and I felt the cool arms of my brother wrap around me.

"It'll be okay Hailey. I swear it," he whispered, his breath hot on my ear and his touch soothing. "I love you," he said, kissing my forehead. I gave the typical answer, but mostly because it was what was expected and not because I actually felt the feelings. I really didn't even know what love was anymore. "I love you too Andre," I finally said, after a minute of contemplating! I sometimes wanted to tell him to fuck off but I knew I needed him. That was what kept me laying there, in his arms as I drifted back to sleep.