Status: Semi-Active

No Such Thing as Too Young

Your Southern Constellations Got Me So Dizzy

I sat on my balcony, a light blanket wrapped around me as a cool breeze swept through the morning air. I shivered, bringing it closer to my body. This morning was chilly for San Diego, and for summer in general. I glanced through the glass doors to check on Tony. It was only 6:00 in the morning so him being fast asleep didn't shock me at all. His hair was disheveled, and the under parts of his eyes pale compared to his sun tanned skin making me wonder when he finally fell asleep. I sighed, feeling guilty that I was most likely the reason he was up last night. I never wanted to upset or hurt him. I ran my fingers over the area that my cuts were, they were hidden under a layer of sweat pants, but I was constantly reminded that they were there. I wasn't sure where things would go from here, but I knew Tony wouldn't give up, or walk away. I watched the sun rise slowly in the sky, bringing a warm glow to the area that I had watched a million times before from this very spot. I took a sip of my warm coffee, and leaned back in the plastic chair. I felt warm arms wrap around me from behind, and Tony's face snuggled into the side of my neck. I shivered again, but this time not from the cold. He kissed the spot where his head lay. I turned my head slightly to rest against his, rubbing his bare arms that were still around me. "Why are you up, you look exhausted Tony..." I trailed off. He shook his head against my skin, his hair tickling my neck making me squirm a bit. He chuckled slightly. "I couldn't sleep anymore, not without you there"He mumbled. I blushed and pulled his hands to come stand in front of me. "Did you sleep at all last night?" I asked him, obviously worried. He shrugged. "A bit, here and there. I kept having nightmares, and waking up to make sure you were okay. I just had to check..." He told me. I looked down and played with his fingers. He sat in the chair in front of me, our knees touching. "I'm sorry" I whispered. "Hey, hey, hey" he said putting his finger under my chin and making me look into his eyes, I couldn't help but focus in on the dark circles under his eyes making me frown. "Shay, you have nothing to be sorry for baby girl" He told me. I shook my head. "Yes, I do. I am obviously hurting you through all of this, I'm sorry" A tear slipped from my eye. He wiped it away, and kissed my forehead. "No, no. Okay, so yeah I didn't sleep well last night, but this is not your fault." I nodded to please him, and took a deep breath. "What- What were your nightmares about?" I asked him, my voice barely above a whisper. "Mostly you....." he said just as quiet. I flinched and nodded. "I had a dream that I found you, in your room.... You'd, You'd gone too deep. Most of the dreams were like that.... There was only one you were okay in, and it hurt me just as much...." He whispered, tears streaming down his own face now, his hand gripping mine tightly. I rubbed my thumb in a circle on his hand. "What was the other dream?"I asked, my voice shakey. "You told me it was all my fault. You told me you hated me, and I caused all of this to happen." He said in a low voice. I stood up and hugged him tightly to me, and he pulled me into his lap. "Never, ever think that Tony. I'm so sorry. Don't think this is your fault at all. I promise you it isn't. If anything you are the only one keeping me alive." I whispered. I kissed the top of his head, and played with his hair until he pulled away. "Shay, promise me, that before you ever do it again, you'll think of me, and call me." He said, looking right into my eyes. I bit my lip, and nodded. "I promise.." He nodded as well and hugged me quickly. "Come on, I'll make you some breakfast.." I told him.

We stood up, laced our hands together, and made our way into the kitchen. "Sit" I commanded as we reached the kitchen. He laughed, and gave a small smile but did as he was told. I turned the radio on, and began to prepare pancakes for him. I danced around the room, knowing very well I looked like a idiot. Tony laughed and began to sing along with me. "That's what makes you beautiful" He sang out, looking directly into my eyes as I mixed the batter together. I blushed and looked down suddenly "Very interested" in what I was doing.A new song came on, and sang to myself, pouring the mix into the pan, the smell of fresh pancakes quickly filling the room.I felt hands rest on my hips, and Tony's voice softly sang in my ear, his hands making me sway back and forth with him. "Cause you've been hurt before, I can see it in your eyes, you try to smile it away some things you can't disguise. Don't wanna break your heart baby I can ease the ache" He whispered, his breath hot on my neck. I bit my lip, and tried to focus on what I was doing. "So let me give your heart a break" He kissed my check, bringing a deep crimson blush to my checks. He let go of my hips, and took my hand in his, spinning me around to 'Home' by Phillip Phillips. I was now face to face with him,and I couldn't ignore the look in his eye. Tony brought his free hand up to my check, rubbing his thumb across it. No matter how much I wanted to look away, his eyes held me in place. His face lowered down to mine, and in an instant his lips were on mine. The cold metal of his lip rings was so different from the warm radiating from both of our lips, and it brought an aspect to this kiss I never thought I would like. This kiss was not like the kiss we had shared before, there was built up emotions, fear, love, everything imaginable filling it. Their was this unspoken bond holding us in this moment, as our lips moved in sync, our bodies held close together. I wrapped my arms around his neck and began to play with the ends of his hair. We slowly pulled away, only to have him quickly kiss my lips again. We both let out a breath and rested our foreheads together. Once apart from Tony's lips I was aware of the burnt, smokey smell filling the room. "Shit" I cursed, pulling myself from Tony's grip. I quickly grabbed an oven mitt, grabbed the pan, and tossed it in the sink, running water on it. I sighed, turned the water off, and leaned against the sink to scrub the burnt on pancake off of the pan. I wasn't only aware of this mistake, but the fact that, the kiss was probably not what he had planned. Tony and I just kissed. I could feel his eyes on me as I filled the sink with soapy water, and did the dishes.

"What's that smell?" I heard my mother ask as the front door opened, and she entered the house. I sighed and looked up to see my mother standing in the kitchen door. "Burning the house down guys?" my mom kidded as she stepped into the kitchen. I quickly dried my hands and ran to my mom. "Hey, you're back soon" I hugged her, and pulled away to see my father standing awkward in the doorway. I glanced between my parents, I could sense a tension, and discomfort in being here together. "Everything okay?" I questioned. "Hm? Oh yeah of course. Your father got called back for a business meeting though, so we came back a little bit earlier." I nodded and went back to doing the dishes. "Tony, your mom will be back Friday still" She said hugging him. "Oh cool. Well uhm I should be going. Nice to see you guys. Uh, talk to you later or something Shay" he said heading towards the front door. I drained the sink, and ran out after Tony. "Tony!" I caught him in the driveway. "Yeah?" he asked turning around. He looked awkward, and unsure of what to do. I bit my lip. Did he regret kissing me? Did I do something wrong? As much as I wanted him to be interested in me, I knew Stephanie would eventually come back into the picture, and we just wouldn't work. Not with all of my issues. I filled my head with every excuse to try and hold tears back. "Look, about back there..." I trailed off not sure what to say. "Forget it okay?" Tony said sharply. I nodded, and continued to chew on my lip, tears rimming my eyes. "Shay, look I'm sorry. Just, just seriously forget it." that was all he said before walking across the yards, and into his house.

I composed myself and went back inside. I found my mom sitting at the kitchen table. "Where's dad?" I questioned, looking around. She simply shrugged and patted the spot next to her. "Napping before his flight out to China. Come sit next to me" She requested. I took a seat at the small wooden kitchen table. "What was up with you and Tony?" She asked. My mom wasn't one to pry into my life, but when it came to Tony she was often very curious. "He stayed over last night, like old time, but things were.... well.... weird this morning.." I wasn't sure how to word things. "Oh Shay, you two didn't..... Sleep together, did you?" She asked. I felt a warm crimson blush fill my checks, and I looked down at my hands resting on the table. I shook my head. "No mom, we didn't do that" Though I want Tony to be my first I thought to myself. "Then what? He seemed to be in a rush to get out of here" She said laughing slightly. "He kissed me this morning mom..." I told her. She smiled, and pushed some of my bangs out of my face. "Tony's a good guy Shay. I always knew you would end up with him." She told me. I shook my head, tears coming to my eyes again. "No, no mom you don't get it. That's why he left, he told me to just forget it. He doesn't want me. It was a mistake." I told her, sniffling, and wiping a few stray tears away. "Oh honey" she hugged me. "I'm sure it wasn't a mistake. You're his best friend, he is probably just confused" she told me, kissing the top of my head. I nodded and pulled away. "So whats going on with you and dad? Things seem... I don't know, tense?" I guessed. She gave a forced smile and stood up. "It's nothing to worry about, we're fine" she said getting up and leaving the room.
I put my head in my hands, feeling a large head ache coming on. Everyone was too confusing. Tony cared for me, knows my secret, and kissed me. Now he wants to forget it, was I not good enough, could he not be with someone like me? And what the fuck were my parents hiding from me. I wasn't sure if I could handle much more of this shit.
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Sorry it took so long to update this. I changed this chapter three times before settling on this. I'm sorry if its not that good, and if it takes awhile to update again. I need ideas and fillers to get me to where I want in this story. Comments will probably give me more motivation to update sooner. Let me know if it sucked, or what you liked.

Thanks for the patience. <3