Scars of Your Love

“You don’t want me to find out what?” I cried angrily.
“Nothing babe, don’t worry.”
“What is it?”
“It’s nothing bad.”
“If it’s nothing bad then you can tell me.”
“Shona please. It doesn’t matter, okay?”
“It obviously does, or you would bloody tell me.” He sighed and went inside. I followed.
“Look,” he started, “I needed some more money for the holiday. I spoke to Den and we made a deal, alright?”
“What kind of deal?”
“He just lent me some money, that’s all.”
“Do you think I’m fucking stupid? This is Den we’re talking about. There’s always something in it for him.” For a few seconds, we sat in silence. I had to know. Now all sorts were going through my head. What had Bolt done? I looked up at him and stared angrily into his eyes. He sighed. “I just helped him sell a bit of smack and some dope, that’s all. I was desperate and it wasn’t anything serious anyway. It’s nothing, init.”
“Do you take them?”
“Look, you…”
“Do you take them?!” I screamed. There was a long pause before he nodded solemnly. My legs turned to jelly and I sat down on the bed, scared I would pass out if I didn’t. How could he do this? He wasn’t like that. Sure, Bolt was a dick sometimes but this was crazy. He wouldn’t do this to me. The person who I’d known forever, the person who I trusted completely, the person who I cared about most in the whole world had betrayed me in the worst possible way. He knew what had happened. He knew why mum had left. Her sister – my auntie had died from drugs. She couldn’t take it anymore. She had to get away. Hadn’t he learnt what happens? Hadn’t he learnt what it does to everyone else? “How could you do this?” I screamed, pounding his chest with my fists. He grabbed my wrists and tried to calm me down but the tears were already running down my cheeks. “Bolton, how could you?” He didn’t say anything. He knew what he’d done. “You’d kill anyone who lays a fucking finger on me, yet here you are, hurting me the most. You act like my dad. You don’t own me. You don’t rule my life. You can’t protect me when you’re the one doing all the damage!”
“Shona, listen.”
“No! I hate you. I hate you. I hate you,” I screamed.
“Calm down.” I took a deep breath.
“Just go okay.”
“Shona, we have to be at the airport in two hours.”
“I don’t give a shit! Just go away. Leave me alone.” He sighed, got up and walked out the door. I sat down on the bed and cried. I couldn’t believe what had happened. This was Bolton. He wouldn’t do this. He said he loved me. Didn’t he know how drugs had messed up my life? Suddenly, my favourite person in the world didn’t mean a thing to me. I couldn’t love him anymore. Not after this.

The plane journey seemed to go on forever. We both sat in silence. Not once did I shift my gaze from the window. I didn’t want to even look at Bolton. The fact that I was sitting right next to him made me feel physically sick. I stared out as far as I could, searching for any signs of home, hoping that the plane would hurry up and land. I felt cold and empty and I just wanted to get home and see the guys and Dotty. Vegas and Will. What if they were involved in this too? That would be terrible. No, surely not. It took all of my strength not to straight-out ask Bolton if they had anything to do with it. There was no point; he would cover for them anyway. I’d just have to get home and see how they reacted when I told them about Bolton.

After dumping my suitcase back at home, I rushed round to Will’s. My hands were shaking as I reached for the doorbell. What would I do if they did have something to do with it? My legs were shaking and my stomach was churning. I was scared to ask, terrified of the answer. I had to ask though, I had to know. “Shona, are you okay?” Will asked, opening the door. It was only then that I realised I was crying. He wrapped his arms around me and I cried into his chest. I’d never cried in front of Will before. Right now though, I couldn’t help it. He took me inside and sat me down on the sofa. Dotty was there too. Will went to get me some water while Dotty tried to calm me down. “So I take it you had fun then,” Will laughed, sitting down opposite me. He put his hands on my knees and I took a sip of the water.
“Will,” Dotty cried, “What happened babe?” I couldn’t speak because I was crying so much.
“Ssh…it’s alright babe, we’re here,” Will said soothingly as he wiped my tears with his sleeve. After a few minutes, I finally stopped crying. “What happened?”
“That Den person…who is he?” I asked expressionlessly.
“Den? Um…Kyle Graham, he was doing A-levels at Northwood ‘til he got kicked out.”
“What’d he do?”
“Drugs I think. Ask Bolt, he knows him better than I do. Why?”
“Do you know who else takes drugs? Do you know who else deals them?” I cried, jumping to my feet.
“What are you on about?”
“Bolton. He was desperate apparently.”
“What?”
“I overheard him on the phone.”
“Are you sure you didn’t misunderstand? Bolton wouldn’t do that to you.”
“Well he has. I asked him and he admitted it.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, I don’t want to see him ever again.”
“I don’t understand,” Dotty said. Will got up and headed towards the kitchen, motioning for Dotty to follow. They returned a few minutes later. “Shona, I’m so sorry,” she said giving me a hug. I guessed Will had just filled her in. I shrugged. “What happens now then?” I shrugged again. “It’s over. I don’t want to see him again. I mean it.”
“I can’t believe he’d do that. That is low.”
“I just can’t believe it. For a minute, I was worried you had something to do with it aswell.”
“I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“I didn’t think Bolton would either but here we are.”
“What a prick. Do you want to stay here tonight?”
“Is that okay?”
“Yeah, Dotty, you can stay and all.”
“Alright then,” she smiled. It was six thirty so Dotty and I went to pack a bag while Will went out to get Chinese for dinner.