The Princess of Wales

I sent the letter out and then contemplated on what to do about Zayn. I know he likes me. But does he have feelings for me? I’m not sure, but it’s possible. He hasn’t said anything out loud about it, so I decided not to do anything about it until he does. I like how things are now between us, but I know they’re bound to change. The second he mentions anything along the lines of feelings, I’m gone. That’s the way it has to be.

I had some time to kill before yet another therapy session, so I was just on my laptop catching up with private social media accounts. Then an invitation to Skype appeared from my cousin, Amelia Spencer. I immediately accepted it, a smile plastered on my face.

“CHARLIIIIII!” She screamed when her face popped up on my screen.

“I miss you so much!” I smiled. “I haven’t seen you and the girls in forever.”

“I think we’re long overdue for a reunion, babes.” Amelia grinned. “Why don’t you fly out to South Africa and we’ll have some fun. I’m sure daddy dearest would love that.”

“Oh, you know I will never please my father.” I laughed, but it was a true statement.

My family isn’t very found of my mothers family. The Spencers. Well, it’s not so much them not being found of the family as a whole. My father just doesn’t like it when I spend time with my cousins. As Camilla puts it, I act way too much like the Spencer girls. To them, that’s not a good thing. Definitely isn’t becoming of a princess. Amelia and her sisters are a lot like me. They like to go out and have fun just like I do. Luckily for them, they’re not a part of the British Royal Family and not in line for the throne. So basically, nobody gives a fuck about what they do unless they’re in England.

“So it’s settled! You’re coming to visit!” She grinned.

“Let’s set something up, maybe in two weeks?” I said. “I also plan on visiting your father soon. Heard my new baby cousin and I share the same name.”

“Yup! Little Lady Charlotte. The girls and I went to visit a week after her birth, she’s absolutely beautiful.” Amelia said. “Best looking Charlotte in the family, if I do say so myself.”

“I bet she is!” I agreed. “Best looking daughter your father has too, I’m sure.”

“Okay, that was fair. I apologize, your royal highness.” She mocked me with a grin. She knew more than anybody how much I hated that.

“As much as I love my brothers, sometimes I wish I was Lady Charlotte Spencer. Simple and easy life.”

“Oh sweetie, I know you’re a Spencer at heart. But, Lady Spencer doesn’t get to shag Zayn Malik. Now Princess Charlotte on the other hand, she definitely does.”

“We are so not talking about Zayn.” I laughed. “Well I have to head to my lovely therapy session now, but I’ll see you soon!”

“Make sure you tell him how much you hated your childhood!” She laughed. “I can’t wait to see you!”

I waved bye before shutting my laptop and heading downstairs. I ran into my father and Camilla before heading out. I like the days when I can just avoid them altogether, especially her.

“Who were you talking to?” My father asked.

“Amelia.” I said, ready for the yelling to start. “I’m going to visit her and the girls in two weeks.”

“Like bloody hell you are!” Dad yelled.

“Honey, you really shouldn’t be hanging around those girls.” Camilla chimed in.

“I don’t remember asking for your opinion, wife of my father.” I spat. “And why not, dad? They’re my family!”

“Those girls are trouble and whenever you’re with them, nothing good ever comes of it. You know your actions in South Africa follow you back home.”

“Oh please, Charles. Her actions in Manchester followed her home.” Camilla started again. “Charlotte, it doesn’t matter where you go, you’re always going to be watched.”

I ignored her completely and only addressed my father. “I’ve been good! I’ve done just what I was told! I even stopped going out and drinking.”

“You were also told to stay away from that boy, yet there were photographs of the two of you in the paper this morning.” Dad said. “I don’t exactly call that doing what you were told.”

“We were on a date in the middle of the day.” I argued. “No alcohol involved, no clubs, no parties.”

“That’s not the point, Charlotte. You still disobeyed not only me, but your grandmother as well.”

“But we weren’t doing anything wrong. What do you have against him!”

“Nothing, Charlotte. We have nothing against him.” Dad was obviously lying. “We’re trying to rebuild your image. Which is very hard to do if you’re not listening. You’re a princess, Charlotte, you need to start acting like one.”

“You really make no sense, you know that right?” I said, now really irritated. “Zayn has nothing to do with me acting like a princess. He’s a famous and very well liked guy. He’s not some loser drug addict from the ghetto! If anything, you should be happy he’s the one I’m spending time with because it could be a whole lot worse.”

“Charlotte, he’s not good for your image. For a whore socialite sure, but for you? Absolutely not. You’re held to a higher standard and you need to start acting like it.” Camilla decided to keep talking.

“Camilla, you’re not my mother and you need to stay out of this. Your opinion, anything that comes out of your mouth, I do not care about.” I spat. “Stop speaking to me!”

“Charlotte!” Dad yelled.

“I’m the closest thing to a mother you have!” She yelled. “I only want whats best for you, you need to remember that.”

This was a joke. All a big fucking joke. Are these two fucking kidding me right now? I’m seriously getting into an argument with them right before my therapy session. This was not how I planned on starting my morning.

“You don’t give a shit about what’s best for me. Neither of you do!” I yelled. “You don’t care about my image, you only care about how it makes you look. You don’t give a shit about me behaving like a princess, you only care because I’m your daughter and it’s a reflection of you.”

“Charlotte, that’s not true-“

“As a matter of fact, you wouldn’t care about anything I do if you weren’t the future King of the United Kingdom! You wouldn’t even pretend to give a damn about me if I wasn’t a reflection of the future king.”

“Stop it, Charlotte!” I must of struck a nerve. “I have never once pretended to care about you. You’re my only daughter and I love you. I always have and I always will. Whether you like it or not.”

I actually starting laughing at this whole thing. Laughing out of nervousness to prevent myself from crying. I soon failed at that and quickly started to wipe my tears away.

“You’re so full of shit.” I let out a small laugh while I let some tears fall. Wiping them quickly. “I’m not dealing with this. I’m leaving.”

“Not this time, Charlotte.” Dad refused. “You aren’t going anywhere. You always do this! We fight and you claim I don’t care about you, that I don’t love you, how much I hate you. Why? Why do you feel this way, Charlotte?”

“Are you fucking serious right now?!” I was full blown crying, but my pride was still trying to hide it the best I could. “I’m your only daughter and you love me so much, right? Then why did you deny me as your own when I was born? Why?”

My father and Camilla both stood there in shock. He wanted an explanation, I gave him one. Now he’s speechless, just staring at me. He honestly can’t believe I just said that. I stood there, staring back at him, waiting on anything to come out of his mouth.

“Who told you that?” He asked. “WHO TOLD YOU?!”

“My grandfather did. He’s the only one of you who respects me enough to tell me the truth.” I smirked, he really had no idea I knew. “I was thirteen years old and I asked my grandfather why you and I don’t have a relationship like a normal father and daughter. Why you treat me differently from Will and Harry. Then he told me the truth. About how the lovely Camilla put the idea in your head that I wasn’t your child because you and my mother were separated when she became pregnant.”

“I can’t believe this is happening…Charlotte-“

I turned my attention to Camilla. “It must of destroyed you, didn’t it? You finally had the love of your life all to yourself, only to find out he gets his estranged wife pregnant. In that moment in time, you were afraid he’d go back to her. You probably questioned if he even loved you and that’s why you hate me. I’m a walking reminder of that horrible, miserable time in your life. That is why I will never respect you, you put the idea in his head that I wasn’t his child and ruined any chance of a normal relationship we could of had.”

“Charlotte, it was nothing against you, you were just a baby. It was your mother-“

“Shut up. Don’t speak about my mother.” I told her before shifting my attention back to my father. “You wanna know why I’m so fucked up, dad? Take a look in the mirror. My whole childhood finally made sense to me once I found out the truth and I haven’t been the same since. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have therapy. I’m off to tell my therapist all of this before I lose the nerve to talk about it.”



“Have you been crying, Charli?” Dr. Weiner asked when I took a seat across from him.

“Yes.” I said truthfully. “But I’m okay now, I think.”

“Can I ask what happened?”

“My father and I finally had a long overdue talk.” I said. “We got into a fight about Zayn which spiraled into talk about him not caring about me. That triggered a bunch of anger in me and I let him know that I knew the truth about him denying me as a child.”

“That’s a lot of information, Charli.” He said. “First, why were you fighting about Zayn?”

“I was told to stop partying and to stay away from him.” I said as I lit up a cigarette. “I listened, I stopped going to clubs. But me and Zayn had a date yesterday, my father found out and flipped.”

“What happened?”

“He told me he didn’t want me around Zayn and couldn’t give me a real reason why. I’d rather keep Zayn in my company, so we fought.”

“In our previous session, you talked about Zayn possibly developing feelings for you and you expressed your dislike of the idea. Has that changed?”

“I’m not sure how I’m feeling about the whole thing between Zayn and I. It’s all a bit foggy.”

“Your feelings or his?”

“Both.” I said. “But mostly mine.”

“Zayn has been in your life for some time now. Is it safe to say you trust him?”

“No.” I answered quickly. “Absolutely not. He hasn’t given me a real reason to trust him.”

"You don't trust men, do you Charli?"

"You're right, I don't." I said.

"Why is that?"

"You know why." I laughed it off. “Isn’t it obvious?”

"I need you to tell me."

"Because of my father." I said as I lit up another cigarette. It wasn’t due to stress though, it was more therapeutic. “It’s his fault, he did this to me.”

"Tell me, Charli." Dr. Weiner pressed on.

"He was the first man ever in my life, he fucked it all up. He had one job, one job to love me unconditionally no matter what because I'm his daughter. He couldn't even do that right! He hated me since the day I was born, 19 long years. He doesn't even realize how bad this has fucked me up. Hell, I didn’t even realize it until recently.”

“Were you ignored as a child, Charli?”

“By my father? Yes. I was less of a daughter to him and more of a bother, I’m sure.”

“Why do you say that?”

“We never spent time together, never alone. He was always too busy for me. We only did things together as a family if Harry and Will were there.” I said. “I was the one sent off to boarding school. When I was home, I saw the nannies more times a day then I did my own father.”

“And that upset you?”

“Of course.” I chuckled. “I only had one parent to begin with and for that parent to basically shut me out like I was nothing to him? It hurt. I thought that was normal when I was a kid though. I just couldn’t understand why I was taking it so personally.”

“Did he ever tell you he loved you? Or that he was proud of you?” He asked.

“While speaking to me or of me, the word proud has never been in his vocabulary.” I said. “Of course he told me he loved me, but those are just words. I never felt it. I grew up with the feeling that he didn’t care about me, long before I knew that it was true.”

“How did you know it to be true?”

“I was home from school one weekend when I was thirteen. We were all having brunch at my grandmothers. The lovely queen was talking William up, about how he’d be the future king one day, after my father of course. Harry made a joke about something I posted on social media and it triggered a fight between my father and I. Not wanting to continue fighting in front of my grandparents, I excused myself and went into my grandfathers study. I sat on the couch for about an hour reading some stupid book. My grandfather eventually came in to check on me and I finally asked him why its so hard for my father and I to get along. Why we don’t have a normal relationship, why he favors Will and Harry. He finally told me what everyone else knew.”

“Which is what?”

“That I was conceived when my parents were separated. My mother was seeing some guy and my dad was with Camilla. My fathers oh so lovely girlfriend convinced him that I wasn’t his child and just like that he believed it to be true. Throughout my mothers whole pregnancy he has his doubts and denied I was his child. It took a whole week before I had a name after my birth, the queen requested a DNA test before I could be given the title ‘Princess’.”

“So, even after you were proved to be part of the family, your father still didn’t treat you as such?”

“I believe my father never wanted me, to be honest. I really couldn’t of come at a worse time. My parents’ marriage had already fell apart, he was finally with the one he wanted. Then here comes this new baby he had with a woman he did not want to be married to. It wasn’t my fault and I didn’t ask to be here but somehow the blame was put on me.” I said. “I think my father ignored me to make Camilla happy. She hated and still hates the fact that I even exist, given the fact she was with my father while I was conceived. He cheated on her basically, and I’m the result. He picked another woman over his only daughter who he claims to love so much. I suffered years of being ignored and feeling unloved….just to make her happy. So, no, I don’t trust men because I can’t trust him. If I can't even trust my own father, how can I trust anybody else?"