The Princess of Wales
Dear Harry #2
My eyes opened, my vision a bit blurry at first. I felt dizzy and sick to my stomach. Last night was a blur and I don’t even remember coming home. Not remembering coming home clearly wasn’t a first time occurrence for me, but I’ve never felt like this before. Absolutely awful! I slowly sat up in bed and clutched my head, jumping at the figure shifting beside me. What the hell did I do last night?! Waking up naked was an indication that nothing good came of last night. The last thing I remember was sitting at the bar, having drinks with Louis.
Louis?! Oh no! I looked over again and saw the top of the guys head, the only thing peaking out from under the covers. No, Charlotte. Tell me you didn’t just royally fuck up! The sick feeling in my stomach worsened as I pulled the covers down a bit, revealing the one person I was praying I didn’t see. Louis. My hand flew over my mouth as tears started to fill my eyes, I wanted to scream. I couldn’t remember anything from last night, I surely don’t remember having sex with Louis! We were both naked and laying in my bed, there’s no way it didn’t happen. I quickly covered myself up before shaking him awake.
“Louis!” I yelled. “Louis, wake up! Wake up right now!”
He stirred a bit and started to groan. “Oh, god. How much did I drink last night?” He asked.
His eyes still squeezed shut, he may have been wincing in pain from a headache. “For the love of fucking god, Louis. Open your eyes.”
“Charlotte?!” He questioned as he quickly sat up, looking down at his naked body. Looking back at me with wide eyes. “Did we…?”
“I think so.” I whispered softly. Ashamed of myself.
“I don’t…I don’t remember.” He said, running his hand through his hair in frustration. “The last thing I remember is walking back to your dorm. I didn’t mean to-“
“Me neither.” Tears started feeling my eyes again. “I am so sorry.”
“I’m sorry too.”
“You should go.” I said quickly. “Like, right now, I’m not sure what time Eleanor is getting back.”
“Yeah. Right…” I saw the guilt wash over his face. He got out of bed and grabbed his jeans, I looked away as he quickly got dressed. “Don’t tell Eleanor.”
“What?!” I yelled. “Louis, I can’t keep this from her.”
“You can’t tell her!” Louis said. “I will tell her the truth, I promise. She just needs to hear it from me.”
“Fine.” I agreed. “But remember, I have to live with her. Don’t make this any awkward for me than it already is.”
“I’ll try not to. I’m gonna tell her, I just have to find a way how.” He said. “What about Zayn…? He’s my best friend and I feel awful. I can’t keep this from him.”
“You can go ahead and tell him.” I nearly choked on my own words.
“Are you sure you don’t wanna-“
“He isn’t returning my calls.” I said. “He doesn’t need to hear anymore pain or disappointment from me.”
I hung my head in regret when Louis left. Thankfully, Eleanor wasn’t home yet. I just hope nobody saw Louis leave my dorm, that would be the worst case scenario at this point. I stayed in the shower until the hot water ran out, hoping to wash away last nights mistakes. I felt so dirty and so disgusting. This won’t just hurt Zayn, it’s gonna destroy Eleanor. After I changed my bed sheets, I sat at my desk, staring at the wall. I decided it was time to write a letter to Harry, I clearly wasn’t talking to anybody else about this.
Dear Harry,
I fucked up. I mean, royally fucked up. I don't know what to do. All this time I've been lying to myself and everybody else. I pushed away the only guy I ever truly loved and I made a huge mistake. He was the only one who was ever genuinely interested in me as a person, he cared about my feelings, liked hearing about my day, he wanted to make everything okay. But I've ruined it now and I have absolutely no idea what to do with myself. You were right, I was in love with him. I still am in love with him, but I saw too afraid to tell him. I’ve ruined things and did something I can’t take back. Once he finds out, he’ll probably hate me forever. He’ll want nothing to do with me and that kills me. My feelings aside, the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt him. I can honestly say, I’ve never felt this type of pain before. I’m lost.
Harry, I miss you so much. I wish you were here so I could talk to you in person, I could really use a hug right now as well. But enough about me, how are you? I know its a question I always ask, but how’s Afghanistan treating you? I don’t know if you’ve heard the news or not, but when you come home we get to have our own place! Grandmother said it was time for the two of us to move out, I’m literally counting down the days. Thank god I’m away at school now, I couldn’t stand living with dad and Camilla for much longer. Will thinks this is all a ploy and our grandmother has some type of motive behind it. Maybe he’s right. I mean, would you give us our own place?!
Hopefully by the time you come back, I’ll be fully recovered from this breakup. Not sure if I should be calling it that, because Zayn and I weren’t actually together, but this is what it feels like. I wouldn’t wanna bore you with the details of my pathetic life. I’ll see you soon!
Love & miss you,
Charli
I sealed my letter in an envelope and wrote Harry's name on the front, Captain Harry Wales.
Louis?! Oh no! I looked over again and saw the top of the guys head, the only thing peaking out from under the covers. No, Charlotte. Tell me you didn’t just royally fuck up! The sick feeling in my stomach worsened as I pulled the covers down a bit, revealing the one person I was praying I didn’t see. Louis. My hand flew over my mouth as tears started to fill my eyes, I wanted to scream. I couldn’t remember anything from last night, I surely don’t remember having sex with Louis! We were both naked and laying in my bed, there’s no way it didn’t happen. I quickly covered myself up before shaking him awake.
“Louis!” I yelled. “Louis, wake up! Wake up right now!”
He stirred a bit and started to groan. “Oh, god. How much did I drink last night?” He asked.
His eyes still squeezed shut, he may have been wincing in pain from a headache. “For the love of fucking god, Louis. Open your eyes.”
“Charlotte?!” He questioned as he quickly sat up, looking down at his naked body. Looking back at me with wide eyes. “Did we…?”
“I think so.” I whispered softly. Ashamed of myself.
“I don’t…I don’t remember.” He said, running his hand through his hair in frustration. “The last thing I remember is walking back to your dorm. I didn’t mean to-“
“Me neither.” Tears started feeling my eyes again. “I am so sorry.”
“I’m sorry too.”
“You should go.” I said quickly. “Like, right now, I’m not sure what time Eleanor is getting back.”
“Yeah. Right…” I saw the guilt wash over his face. He got out of bed and grabbed his jeans, I looked away as he quickly got dressed. “Don’t tell Eleanor.”
“What?!” I yelled. “Louis, I can’t keep this from her.”
“You can’t tell her!” Louis said. “I will tell her the truth, I promise. She just needs to hear it from me.”
“Fine.” I agreed. “But remember, I have to live with her. Don’t make this any awkward for me than it already is.”
“I’ll try not to. I’m gonna tell her, I just have to find a way how.” He said. “What about Zayn…? He’s my best friend and I feel awful. I can’t keep this from him.”
“You can go ahead and tell him.” I nearly choked on my own words.
“Are you sure you don’t wanna-“
“He isn’t returning my calls.” I said. “He doesn’t need to hear anymore pain or disappointment from me.”
I hung my head in regret when Louis left. Thankfully, Eleanor wasn’t home yet. I just hope nobody saw Louis leave my dorm, that would be the worst case scenario at this point. I stayed in the shower until the hot water ran out, hoping to wash away last nights mistakes. I felt so dirty and so disgusting. This won’t just hurt Zayn, it’s gonna destroy Eleanor. After I changed my bed sheets, I sat at my desk, staring at the wall. I decided it was time to write a letter to Harry, I clearly wasn’t talking to anybody else about this.
Dear Harry,
I fucked up. I mean, royally fucked up. I don't know what to do. All this time I've been lying to myself and everybody else. I pushed away the only guy I ever truly loved and I made a huge mistake. He was the only one who was ever genuinely interested in me as a person, he cared about my feelings, liked hearing about my day, he wanted to make everything okay. But I've ruined it now and I have absolutely no idea what to do with myself. You were right, I was in love with him. I still am in love with him, but I saw too afraid to tell him. I’ve ruined things and did something I can’t take back. Once he finds out, he’ll probably hate me forever. He’ll want nothing to do with me and that kills me. My feelings aside, the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt him. I can honestly say, I’ve never felt this type of pain before. I’m lost.
Harry, I miss you so much. I wish you were here so I could talk to you in person, I could really use a hug right now as well. But enough about me, how are you? I know its a question I always ask, but how’s Afghanistan treating you? I don’t know if you’ve heard the news or not, but when you come home we get to have our own place! Grandmother said it was time for the two of us to move out, I’m literally counting down the days. Thank god I’m away at school now, I couldn’t stand living with dad and Camilla for much longer. Will thinks this is all a ploy and our grandmother has some type of motive behind it. Maybe he’s right. I mean, would you give us our own place?!
Hopefully by the time you come back, I’ll be fully recovered from this breakup. Not sure if I should be calling it that, because Zayn and I weren’t actually together, but this is what it feels like. I wouldn’t wanna bore you with the details of my pathetic life. I’ll see you soon!
Love & miss you,
Charli
I sealed my letter in an envelope and wrote Harry's name on the front, Captain Harry Wales.