My Gift Is My Curse

One thing that Niall never was sure of in life was girls. The entire female population confused the hell out of him. He constantly had girls throwing themselves at him, screaming in his face, and trying to get his number.

He never understood why they did that, though. He was always sure that girls typically viewed him as the “ugly” one, or just as an “extra” in the band. Thought they never wanted to pay attention to him and they’d rather be all over Harry, the curly-haired freak that somehow got nearly all the girls wet with just a look.

So the night that Alice had declared her feelings for him, was a night that he was sure he’d never forget. It was a night that meant so much to him. He figured it’d probably remain one of his favorite memories in life, no matter whom he’d get involved with later on down the line.

-x-x-x-

Niall was sitting at home all alone when his Blackberry started buzzing annoyingly on the coffee table below his feet. He was sprawled across the couch eating baked macaroni and cheese with bacon crumbles mixed in.

On his television some episode of Skins was playing, an episode far into the second third of the second generation. He was in and out of paying attention to it, though, when his phone began to piss him off.

“Jesus Christ.” He mumbled, and reached forward to grab the small black device. He ignored the name across the screen, and instead answered the call. “Yes?” He asked rather rudely.

He didn’t care that he sounded rude, he was just hungry. He’d rather have been sitting and enjoying the fuck out of his mac’n’cheese rather than chatting away on the telephone.

“Well hello to you too!” Alice’s sarcastic voice played through the speaker, causing Niall’s heart to jump. He completely forgot he was waiting for her to call. “What’re you up to, NiNi?”

Niall rolled his eyes at the nickname. “Just watchin’ Skins ‘n eatin’.” He said plainly.

He figured that Alice wasn’t into him like he was with her. She was nearly seventeen, she probably wanted in Zayn’s pants, he thought. So he always tried to play it cool when she talked to him. Like he wasn’t into her.

A chuckle came from across the phone line. “Oh I see,” she answered, “that sounds horribly fucking boring. I’m gonna come visit you now.”

Niall’s face scrunched up in confusion and his eyes laid upon the clock. “It’s nearly three in the morning, Ali.”

“Congratulations, Niall, you can read time!” The girl joked. “But seriously, I’m on my way now. Anne’s out for the night and I’m so, so bored. I’ll see you in a few.”

Niall smiled when he heard the phone click and put his Blackberry down on the couch next to him. He thought about how crazy he was for Alice.

He’d known her since she was around fourteen, which was almost three years ago. They met when Alice traveled to England to see Harry and the rest of her family, since she was from America, and they were going to see a live taping of the X-Factor.

The pair hit it off the most out of the rest of them. Every time Alice would say something to any of the other boys, Harry would sigh at her and say that she needed to stop flirting because they were too old for her.

Of course to spite Harry, Niall had put his arms around the girl and kissed her cheek. That was when Alice knew that they would be good friends.

A year later, Alice moved to England with Harry and his parents. Alice had shut everyone out her first two months of living there, because she was a fifteen-year-old girl who was sent away to live with her aunt and she didn’t know anybody but her family and the other four boys.

Niall would always try and talk to her to get her to open up. He wanted to get to know her, to be there for her whenever she needed him. But Alice was terrified of that. The band was growing and growing and they were about to go on a tour, she didn’t want to get close to Niall only to have him ripped from her for two entire months.

So, after a week or two of trying, Niall started to sneak over late at night. Her room was the only room on the main floor, and he would knock on her window until she got annoyed enough to open in.

Then he’d come inside and talk to her for hours, he’d tell her about his life, his family, his friends; and he’d continuously talk so that she’d know that he would be there for her just as she was there for him. At least that’s how he took it, since she never interrupted him once.

That continued for the next two months, until they’d left for tour. But by then, Alice was communicating more with everyone. She was joking and let conversation flow easily, but she didn’t trust anybody like she trusted Niall, or like how she trusted Harry.

But the blonde boy enjoyed her presence with everything in him.

He loved it when she smiled, because it wasn’t a shy closed-mouth smile, it’d be a wide grin that spread across her entire face until her eyes crinkled almost like Liam’s. He loved it that she laughed at everything, whether it was the dumbest joke or the funniest joke known around.

He loved it when they’d sit down on his couch on a Sunday, watching some stupid movie as the rain hit the windows loudly, and they’d lay there and cuddle.

He loved it when they held hands because of the way that Alice’s soft hands would grip his own hand tightly, almost as if she was afraid he’d let go.

Niall had it bad for Harry Styles’ cousin, and he was terrified of anybody ever finding that out. Although technically he was just terrified of anyone in the band finding out, especially Harry himself.

He heard the front door to his apartment open, and seconds later Alice appeared from the hallway. She was dressed in grey sweatpants that hung loose on her hips, and a tight One Direction shirt that said all of the boys’ names on it.

Niall smirked. “Cute shirt.” He said.

Alice laughed and rolled her eyes, then sat down next to him on the couch. She watched him as he took bites of his food, and his eyes were glued to the TV watching Cook try yet again to get Naomi to sleep with him.

He felt Alice’s stare on him. “No.” He answered flatly; already aware of what she was going to ask. “Go get your own bowl of it.”

She groaned. “But Niall! The kitchen is so far away, and I’m so comfortable, and that smells so, so good. Please? Just one bite?”

He shook his head and grinned at her. “Nope. You can get y’r own.”

Silence filled the air and Alice dropped the subject. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and she wanted to slap herself. She was stupid for coming to his apartment, with the intentions of expressing her feelings towards him.

She knew he didn’t like her. She was Harry Styles’ sixteen-year-old cousin. She was almost seventeen, yeah, but she was probably still too young for Niall in everyone’s eyes.

Breaking her out of her thoughts, she heard Niall’s Irish accent fill the air around them once again. “You okay?” He asked, although it sounded more like “‘ya kay?”

Alice’s mouth opened and she quickly shut it. How was she going to do this? Was she going to come out and say it? Was she going to work it into the conversation? Was she—

“I really like you, Niall.”

Alice’s eyes widened. Her mouth disobeyed her. She didn’t mean to say it; she didn’t mean to actually say how she felt about him! It was an accident, and she laughed nervously, about to take it back.

Niall spoke before she could even save herself. “What?” He asked, causing her cheeks to heat up. “You fancy me?”

He wasn’t sure if he was hearing her correctly. Was she just joking? Was Zayn in the other room with a video camera, taping his reaction to this? Was that really even happening?

“I-I…” Alice stuttered. There was no turning back at that point. “Yeah, Niall.” She said. “I do.”

Niall didn’t know what to say. His mind was all over the place. He wasn’t sure if she meant it or not, or if she was just temporarily feeling this way. He didn’t know what to do. “Oh.”

Alice opened her eyes even wider, if that was even possible. She was so stupid. Why did she say anything? She totally fucked up their relationship, she thought. Maybe she could change it, say something to take what she said differently. “But, uh, it’s totally okay if you don’t feel the same, I don’t expect you to. In fact I know you don’t. But I needed to tell you. I’ve felt this way for a while, and I… Something happened today, something good. And it fucking terrifies me, Niall, because you’re the first person I thought of telling. I didn’t think about calling up Harry, I didn’t think about calling Danielle or Alex… I thought about coming and telling you.”

She felt like she fucked up. Like she just threw herself off the top of a building. Okay, maybe that was a bit dramatic, but she felt like something bad was going to happen from there.

She stood up, and never once broke eye their eye contact. Tears were making their way down her cheeks, and she tried to blink them away. “I, uh, I think I’m just gonna go…”

Alice ran to the front door and opened it, ready to run out of there, but before she could even put her foot out of the door, it slammed shut in front of her. She turned to face Niall, and he stepped closer, trapping her between his body and the door.

“You are completely mental if you think I don’t fancy you right back.” He whispered, his breath hitting her lips. He was bending down with his face right in front of hers, only few centimeters of space between them. “Because I do,” he said, and leaned in closer. “And I want you so badly.” He then finally rid of the space and connected their lips.