Can We Lose Our Minds and Call It Love For the Last Time?

Alexa’s POV

“Lexi I made you this.”

“Wow May, this is such a beautiful drawing, thank you.” I kneeled down and hugged the little 5 year old girl in front of me.

“I’m getting a daddy today!” she smiled at me.

“I know.” I smiled back.

“Ms. Jameson said I not get one daddy but I get two daddies!” she smiled.

“I bet they are really nice.”

“They are, they took me out for ice cream and bought me toys.” she beamed.

“Are you excited?”

“I’m scared.”

I took her hands in mine and looked right into her eyes.

“May, you have nothing to be afraid of. Your new daddies are going to be the best daddies in the whole wide world. You are going to have two daddies that are going to love you very very much. You are going to be just fine.” I smiled.

“Promise?” she asked. I looked at the 5 year old in front of me.

Could I promise her that she would be just fine? Could I promise her security and love?

“I promise. And you know that if you ever need anything you call Ms. Jameson and she will be right there to help you. Now go on and get ready, you’ve got a big day today.” I smiled at here again as she ran off to her room.

I sighed before standing up and turning around only to be met with four guys staring right at me.

“Erm, hello.” I smiled awkwardly.

“Hello, we’re looking for Ms. Jameson.” said a really tall guy, the tallest out of the four. He had kind of long black hair that was being covered by a black beanie. He was wearing a black Of Mice and Men tank that showed of his tattooed filled arms.

“Oh, her office is—“ right before I could finish I was interrupted by a voice over the speakers.

“Alexa! Jayden! My office now!”

I cringed as my best friend Jayden ran down the stairs with a worried expression on his face.

“Does she know?” he asked me, I simply shrugged in response.

“We are so dead.” He groaned.

“Not if we play it cool. Just keep your mouth shut. If she asks, we were in my room all night watching movies. No paint, no car, not party, nothing. Got it?” I told him sternly.

“Lexi, we snuck out and we painted someone’s-“

“Shut up will you? It was for a good cause…kind of.” I laughed.

Suddenly I got an idea.

“Hey, we’ll take to Jamesons office. Follow us.” I smiled as I led the four guys down the hall.

“Relax.” I told Jayden before opening the office door and letting myself in.

“I just got off the phone with…”

“Ms. J? There are people looking for you.” I interrupted as the four guys walked into the room.

Perfect.

“Oh, hello.” She smiled.

“Hi, I’m Mike, we spoke on the phone earlier.” said the really tall guy. As the rest of the guys introduced themselves Jayden and I made our way to the door.

“Where do the two of you think that you are going?” came Ms. Jamesons voice all of a sudden.

Dammit.

“You two are in so much trouble. Sneaking out and going to some party, what were you guys thinking?”

“Miss, I have no idea what you are referring to, Jay and I spent the night watching Star Wars in my room.” I defended.

“Oh really now, is that why the security camera shows you guys sneaking out?”

“Dammit Jay, you said you had it covered.” I laughed.

“I did, I must have not seen that one.” He defended.

“Okay, I’m really sorry Miss, it was just, it was a really big deal being at that party and we really wanted to go and…”

“That’s alright.” She said.

“Wait, what?” asked Jayden.

“Jayden, you can go, Alexa please sit down.” Jayden shot me a look before walking out of the room and closing the door behind him.

I sat down in the remaining chair awkwardly.

Ms. Jameson sighed before she started talking.

“We need to talk about your biological parents.” she stated calmly.

Anger quickly boiled inside of me as I lifted my eyes to look at hers.

“There is absolutely nothing to talk about.” I answered. She knew that I hated talking about them. My parents were the one topic that I constantly avoided.

“There is Alexandria. What do you remember about your mother?”

I sat there for a little. Frustrated. The four guys looked at me and I looked away before answering.

“What is there to remember Ms. J? That she told me that she couldn’t deal with my shit anymore and dumped me here with nothing but one suitcase? That she only cared about her drugs and men? I remember living in shitty apartments and sometimes not eating for days. She didn’t give a shit about anyone but herself. I had to practically raise myself. That’s what I remember.”

“And your father?” she asked.

“According to my mother he was nothing but the sperm giver; an accident that shouldn’t have happened.”

“Alexa your moth-“

“Ms. J, I honestly mean no disrespect what so ever, but I know what you are gonna say. You’re gonna tell me that my mother wanted the best for me. That she loved me and all that crap. But let’s be real here. She didn’t care about me. She wanted to live her life. Do drugs and men. She didn’t want me being a bother. She didn’t love me. And as for my father, whoever he is or where ever he is never bothered to come looking for me. He didn’t give two fucks either. I get it. I fully understand that both my parents had better things to do. That’s my reality, and I have finally come to accept it so please, please just---“

“Alexa your mother is dead.” She cut me off.

My throat dried up and my hands got sweaty.

“W…what?” I asked bewildered.

“She’s gone.”

“When?”

“Monday.” Came a soft voice from my left side. I turned my head and looked at the guys who spoke. His eyes resembled my brown ones and he had shoulder length wavy brown hair. I just looked at him is disbelief.

“Oh.” I whispered.

I didn’t know how to feel at the moment. Sure it hurt that she was dead, but it didn’t hurt as much as I think it should have. I wanted to hate her. Hate her for giving up on me. Hate her for not wanting me since day one. Hate here for everything that I have been through. Hate her for all the times that I have been let down by her.

“Alexa did you hear me?” came Ms. Jameson’s soft voice as she walked towards me.
I flinched as she placed her had on my shoulder.

“No.” I said softly.

“I was saying…”

“What’s going to happen to me Ms. J? I’m alone now. I mean, I’ve always been alone, but now, now I’m really alone.” I panicked and looked up at her blue eyes.

“Calm down. Alexa, nothing bad is going to happen to you.” she said.

“That’s exactly what my mother said before leaving me here. And you and I both know how wrong she was.” I spat angrily.

“You won’t be alone darling. This is Mike, Jaime, Tony and Vic.” She said as she turned to the four guys in the room.

Jaime had crazy black hair that was shooting out in many different directions. He had brown eyes and beautiful dimples on both his cheeks.

Tony, Tony was beautiful. He was wearing an SD snapback and a SD tank that, like Mike, showed off his tattooed filled arms.

“This doesn’t make any sense to me.” I stated.

“Vic, he’s your biological father.”

I sat there stunned. I could see it. Especially in his eyes. We even had the same damn hair.

“I don’t have a father.” I said before standing up and walking out of the office.