Can We Lose Our Minds and Call It Love For the Last Time?

"Are you being serious?" I exclaimed as I looked at my dad and uncle.

"Very. Warped Tour this summer, and you are coming with us." they smiled.

"Holy shit." I stated stunned. "Sleeping with Sirens is on this year and Of Mice & Men, and All Time Low, and Miss Fucking May I! I need to go tell Jay…" my excitement died down as soon as I remembered Jayden.

"You still haven't heard from him?" asked my dad.

"No. It's been almost a week now, I'm starting to get worried. I mean sure he loses his phone a lot, but he would always find a way to contact me even if he didn't have his phone." I explained.

"Why don't you just call Ms. Jameson?" asked Jaime.

"That's a great idea! Why didn't I ever think of that?" I exclaimed and grabbed my phone out of my pocket.

Tony's POV

"That's a great idea! Why didn't I ever think of that?" exclaimed Alexa as I walked into the living room and joined everyone.

Jaime put in a video game so I grabbed a remote as Lexi talked on the phone with some person.

"Jaime, I'm kicking your ass at Mario Cart!" I laughed at him.

"Shut the fu--"

"What?!" screamed Alexa to the person on the phone. Jaime quickly paused the game and we looked over at her. Her face was pale and her eyes were more then ready to release some tears.

"What do you mean? Why?" she asked angrily. A couple seconds later she tossed her phone at the wall across the room in frustration and bolted to her room. Naturally, Vic, Jaime, Mike and I quickly followed her.

She was in her room, screaming and throwing everything around.

"You fucking asshole, how could you do this tim me? You took the easy route you jerk! You fucking left me!" She ran over to her mirror and ripped down all the pictures of her and Jayden, all of a sudden she punched the mirror and Vic quickly stepped in.

"Alexa, stop please." he began as he hugged her tightly even though she tried her hardest to pull away from him.

"He's gone!" she screamed.

"Who's gone darling?" asked Vic.

"Jayden." he voice broke and she finally gave into the hug. She cried as her hand bled. Vic hugged her tightly as she just completely broke down.

I hated seeing her this way. Contrary to the events of the last couple of days, I really did care for Alexa, she was my best friend, and seeing her this way hurt. I couldn't do anything to make her feel better. She looked completely broken and angry and just, a completely different person.

"Tony, could you get the first aid kit?" asked Mike. I nodded and took the stairs two at a time and grabbed the first aid kit from under the sink.

When I got back, Vic had managed to calm her down.

"He's gone dad. He killed himself. He's so selfish." she repeated over and over as Mike cleaned up her hand. "What am I gonna do without him?" she asked Vic. The look on Vic's face was terrible. We'd never seen Alexa this way, and he didn't know how to handle everything, hell, if I would have found out that I had a daughter a year ago, I wouldn't know how to handle everything either.

Jaime, Mike, and I decided to go downstairs while Vic tried to get Alexa to go to sleep. He told her that tomorrow they would be going to Los Angeles, we would all be going.

Two Days Later.
Alexa's POV

His funeral was today. Jayden didn't have very many friends, but he sure as hell had met a lot of people. Ms. Jameson was here, and so were a lot of the kids from the orphanage. There were a couple of our old friends, and some people that I didn't know. Even his bitch of a girlfriend was here.

We were currently sitting outside, saying our final goodbyes before they lowered him into the ground. The priest had asked for the closest person to him to speak, we all knew who that meant.

"Jayden was…he was the very first person that I ever met after getting to the orphanage. He had welcomed me with a huge smile on his face and decided at that very moments we would be best friends. We raised each other from that point on, making judgments based on what we thought was right or wrong. I would often ask him about the future, and he always said the same thing. "For the future, I have no idea, I know that it won't be easy, but I also know that it won't be impossible." He was my rock, my best friend and my brother. Jayden dreamed of becoming a music producer. If it wasn't Jayden and I that were together, then it was Jayden and his damn iPod. He would not go anywhere without it. He was…he is such a beautiful person, a beautiful person stuck in horrible situations. We made our fair share of bad and very bad decisions, but he always had a smile on his face no matter how bad or dangerous things turned out. He was never one to give up on anything."

After a couple other people said some things, it was time to say our final goodbye's. I walked up to his casket with a daisy and picture in had. His favorite kind of flower, and his favorite picture of us.

"Jayden, look out for me okay? I still need you more than you think. I will never forget you, I promise. I love you." I placed the picture and daisy on top of the casked and left my hand on it for a couple of seconds. My eyes closed and the tears poured. "I miss you."

A hand was placed on my shoulder and I opened my eyes to see my dad, he also placed a flower on Jayden's casket. A couple seconds later, they were lowering his body into the ground. I held on to my dad and cried. I'd never cried so much in all my life.

After the worst moment of my life, we went back to the orphanage. Ms. Jameson let me go into Jayden's room and take what I wanted to before they came and took all of his things out.

"You want us to come with you?" asked my uncle.

"Sure." I was lifeless.

We stood outside his door. The big "Jayden's Room Homie." sign that we had painted hung on the door. I looked at it with anger and ripped it down, throwing it on the floor. I slowly opened the door and his scent was the first thing i was hit with. It was a mint mixed with chocolate and cigarette kind of smell. Weird, but I loved it. I took a deep breath before stepping inside and taking a look around. It looked like it always did. Cloths on the floor, papers scattered. I walked over to his desk and touched his iPod. I touched his cloths, his pictures that he had of us. I shoved the iPod into my pocket and took the pictures of us down, those would be coming with me. I walked over to his closet and grabbed the shirt that I hated the most. It was a ripped up Rancid t-shirt that he wore all of the time. After grabbing it, I grabbed my favorite shirt of his. It was his signature flannel.

"I'm done." I stated and walked out of the room.

My dad, uncle, Jaime and Tony were talking to Ms. Jameson as i waited for them in the van. I felt so cold inside. I would speak only when spoken to. My eyes were dull and I looked extremely pale. Eventually they all came to the van and got in.

"Alexa, Ms. Jameson gave me this, Jayden wrote right before….I think you should see it." after a couple seconds of not responding my dad placed a piece of paper in my hand. I grabbed onto it and continued looking out the window.