This Could Be All I've Waited For

“Happy Fourth of July!” Alex shouted the next morning making my head pound. Excellent I’d gotten a hangover from a stupid bottle of wine. I hate alcohol.

“Shut the fuck up!” I shouted back snuggling deeper into Jack’s chest.

“You are always so grumpy after you get drunk,” Jack teased.

I grumbled something incoherent even to myself, though I wasn’t really trying to get any one part across. I felt Jack’s chuckle rumble through his chest and the sensation made me so blissfully happy that I couldn’t keep myself from smiling even though I was extremely grumpy.

“Let’s hit the beach bitches!” Alex shouted pulling the curtain back to Jack’s bunk.

“Go away!” I shouted back squeezing my eyes shut and gripping Jack tightly.

“Someone partied too hard,” Alex observed trying to be funny, I’m sure, but instead he was just making me want to hurt him.

I grunted as I let go of Jack and flung myself out of the bunk where I landed on the floor hard. I groaned with my face in the carpet wishing that for once everyone would sleep for as long as I did so that I could wake up on my own accord. Alex laughed at me and was probably pointing at me disgruntled form on the floor.
Lucky for me everyone decided to leave me alone so that I could just lay there and convince myself that today was totally worth getting off the floor for.

“Hey, Cady?” Jack asked taking my attention from the carpet. I looked up to his face with my cheek pressed against the carpet. “Are you going to get dressed and come to the beach with us?” he asked looking hopeful.

I closed my eyes, “I don’t have a swimsuit,” I lied not wanting to move.

“What the fuck, Cade!” Alex complained from the front lounge. “How do you come on Warped Tour and not bring a swimsuit?” he asked.

I heard Jack get up, “She’s lying,” he said, “She has like sixteen bikinis in here.”

I opened my eyes to find Jack rummaging through my luggage, “How do you know how many bikinis I have?” I asked giving him a suspicious look.

Jack chuckled and kept going through my things. I groaned and pushed myself off the floor as Alex ran past me to join Jack in his quest for a bikini. Sometimes I wonder why I don’t hang out with girls.

I snatched a top from Jack and a pair of bottoms from Alex that probably didn’t match and marched into the bathroom to change.

“How long do you think you’ll be?” Alex called through the door.

“Go to the beach you morons,” I called back looking down at the neon green top and the black and white striped bottoms that I’d carelessly chosen and shook my head at myself.

“Later bitch!” Alex called in a mock rock star voice.

I rolled my eyes at Alex’s antics as I exited the bathroom and started going through my things to find a dress to through over my bathing suit. When I couldn’t find a dress I gave up and pulled on a pair of denim shorts, I turned to Jack who was shaking his head slowly eyes wide.

“What is your deal?” I asked putting my hands on my hips.

“No,” he said getting up and looking through his clothes for a second.

“No what?” I demanded.

“You’re not getting off this bus without a shirt on,” he said throwing me one of his tank tops.

I rolled my eyes and pulled the tank top over my head shoving my arms through the right holes before motioning for Jack to get a move on as I slipped my feet into some flip flops.

Boys can be so ridiculous.

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I sat in Vinny’s camping chair with a bottle of water in my hand and a pair of Jack’s sunglasses on my face. I had planned to get so hopelessly burnt today that I could spend the next week laying around the bus without anything being suspicious. All of the guys were playing in the water, Alex and Rian were throwing some sort of water Frisbee, Jack and Vinny were trying to play some sort of pool tennis game though it was clearly not working out for them in the ocean, and Zach had somehow managed to get a hold of a surf board; not that the waves were anything to be surfed. Matt and the rest of the crew guys were grilling hotdogs and hamburgers.

“There’s a fucking jelly fish!” Alex shouted hopping around in the water as if that would help him to keep from getting stung by it. I sighed and carried one of the various unused sand buckets down to the water. I made my way to Alex and found the jelly fish that was honestly a wimpy excuse for all of this fuss that he was causing. Scooping the little guy out of the water I turned and started walking back towards the sandy beach with Jack hot on my tail.

“I’m out Jelly fish freak me out,” Jack said following me out of the water.

“You’re my hero Cadence!” Alex shouted at me as I made my way back to my chair. I took a bow before I sat down smiling widely and enjoying myself for a moment before going back to hating being awake. I felt like such an idiot for getting so drunk last night.
Jack flung himself into my lap even though there were several open chairs.

“So Cady why are you not enjoying yourself?” he questioned hugging me around my neck and propping his legs up on the armrest of the chair, “Still hung over?”

I scoffed at the thought of a hang over, “I am perfectly fine thank you,” I said wishing for once that I would have been hung over enough to excuse myself from this beach excursion.

“How’s your memory from last night?” he asked raising an eyebrow at me.

I frowned and looked straight ahead pretending to be very interested in what everyone else was doing. Jack nudged me a little with his shoulder and I sighed knowing that I was going to have to admit that I definitely remembered the events from the night before. Me basically telling everyone how desperately I needed Jack and then to me fighting dirty by telling Jack that Marie wasn’t a nice girl… yep I definitely was not forgetting any of that any time soon.

“I’d like to say that it’s all a hazy dream,” I said biting my lip.
Jack looked uncomfortable for a moment, “Oh,” he said looking away from me now taking my role in pretending that he was interested in what other people were doing, “I didn’t mean to…” he seemed to be at a loss for words and just let his sentence trail off.

Jesus if there was ever a time for a face to palm moment now was it. How on Earth could I manage to forget that Jack had nearly kissed me on the mouth last night? Jack attempted to get up but a grabbed his arm and tried to pull him back.

“Jack,” I pleaded with him not to go, but he shook me off clearly offended.

“Don’t worry about it, Cady,” he said clearly trying to sound like it was no big deal but I could tell that I’d actually upset him.

I know that it’s illogical and completely unfair but I was going to blame this on Marie. If she hadn’t ever come into the picture last night wouldn’t have happened the way it did. Jack would have been there and we both would have been happy drunk. I wouldn’t have been a mess because Jack would have been there and I wouldn’t have been whiny because there would have been nothing to whine about. Jack and I would have gone straight to sleep and he wouldn’t have kissed my corner of my mouth and I wouldn’t have made an idiot out of myself this morning or just now.

So ‘eff Marie!

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Jack stayed away from me after that. He didn’t talk to me no matter what I did to get him to. I’d walk over to whoever he was having a conversation with and would put my two cents in and he’d either ignore me all together or walk away.

I’ll admit that much like a child I decided to sulk. I let everyone hand me drinks and without question I downed them. Sometimes regretting it the moment that the liquid went down my throat others actually didn’t burn so bad. I forgot about Jack and his mood and just danced around the iHome that someone had so thoughtfully brought out and hooked their iPod up to.

When it started to get late I wasn’t yet hammered so I decided to stop while I was ahead and handed off the remainder of my last drink and looked around for Jack determined to get him to talk to me with the help of all of the alcohol that was still in my system.

I found him with his feet buried in sand at the shore line looking out into the water. I strolled up stopping beside him deciding to act casual, as if I hadn’t noticed that he was trying to avoid me. “Hi there stranger,” I said but directly afterwards I frowned at myself for my choice of words because even buzzed they sounded wrong.

Jack turned his head in my direction slightly but not enough to see my whole face, and shook his head. Well at least he had acknowledged my presence for once today. I sighed feeling more hopeless than I ever have in all of the time that I’d known Jack. Never once had we not spoken to each other about anything and this is the second time this tour; granted the first time was me, I suppose we’ve evened out the score.

I moved so that I was standing in front of Jack now. I looked to his eyes hoping to find the joke hiding there but instead I just saw a blank stare with the water reflecting back at me. I groaned, saying that I was frustrated would be an understatement, I was furious. I shoved my hands between his arms and sides and wrapped them tightly around his torso.

At first Jack didn’t move or respond in any way. It wasn’t until and buried my face in his bare chest that he finally sighed out of what sounded like frustration.

“Please, Jack,” I begged, “Please stop hating me.”

I heard his sharp intake of breath and his arms finally returned my desperate hug. Relief flooded through me as he buried his face in my hair.

“I could never hate you, Cady,” he promised rubbing my back gently.

“You could have fooled me,” I joked and then squeezed him before saying, “I didn’t mean it, Jack.”

He was quiet and I felt him shift his face so that only his cheek was resting against my hair. He pushed out a breath fanning a few stray hairs, “Don’t worry about it,” he said in what sounded like forced nonchalance, “we’re still best friends and that’s what matters.”

I just nodded my head in agreement so as not to upset him again and told myself we’d stand here like this for as long as he would allow it.