This Could Be All I've Waited For

Jack and I are truly terrible at goodbyes. We pretend that it’s not happening, that we’re not at the airport because one of us is going home… but inevitably my flight is called to be boarded and we go into this almost panicky mode.

“There’s still Thanksgiving,” Jack mumbled trying to sound confident as he clung to me.

I sighed, “Yeah that’s only a month, right?” I said burying my face in his chest, “We’ve gone longer.”

Jack let out a halfhearted breathy chuckle, but didn’t say anything; he only held on more tightly.

“I really like being able to see you even if you have to seclude yourself for your work sometimes,” Jack finally said basically folding himself in half to press kisses to my neck.

I mumbled a “me too” and dug my fingers into his back. We broke apart only momentarily to shuffle a little closer to the people in front of me in the slow paced line.

“I really hate saying goodbye to you, Cady,” he said cupping the side of my face in his hand. The look in his eyes was so sad that it might have actually caused a physical pain to rise up from my stomach.

I placed my hand over his holding it more firmly to my face. “It’s only for a little while,” I tried to make the hurt on his face dim even if it was just a little bit, but the sad look stayed nonetheless.

“That doesn’t make it any easier when I know that it will be hard to talk to you every day. I mean the time zones alone make communication an issue,” he muttered bitterly.

Something in my throat stuck with his words and a strange weight settled in my chest. “Hey,” I said calling his attention to my face rather than the floor, “We do what we can to make this work and we don’t let the little things get us down.” I was going to fight with every fiber of my being to make sure that this goodbye was not a bitter one.

Jack’s eyebrows pulled together, “But is communication really just a little thing?” he asked sounding both hurt and contemplative.

“When has a missed phone call ever really messed with our friendship?” I asked him trying to force myself not to think that he might actually be regretting getting into this relationship.

Jack bit his lip and let his head fall a little, “Never,” he said in a small voice that made him seem like a child that had been caught in the wrong and had just realized it.

“Then why would we let it get in the way of this?” I asked wrapping an arm around his neck and pulling his lips to meet mine.

The kiss was only meant to prove my point. It was an innocent gesture to show him that I was fighting for this and wanted him to fight with me. It wasn’t supposed to turn into the pair of us clinging to each other and moving our lips together in such a desperate way that it might actually be embarrassing if either of us were aware enough to care.

It was the sound of a man clearing his throat that finally brought us back to the airport that we were currently standing in. Jack and I quickly adjusted our stance to a much more publicly and socially acceptable position so that the only part of us touching were our hands entwined between us.

Jack mumbled an apology to the man as he pulled me further up the line. We both had to look away from each other to suppress the giggles that were threatening to bubble out of us. We sobered up once we’d realized that there were only two people in front of me and I would be gone a lot sooner than either of us would want.

Jack’s hand tightened around mine in a gentle squeeze drawing my attention to him. I turned my head looking to his eyes expectantly only to find apologetic eyes staring back at me.

“I didn’t mean it,” he said a fierce promise in his voice.

I nodded and was about to tell him not to worry about it when he pulled me closer letting go of my hand and wrapping his arm around my shoulders instead.

“I was being so stupid I can’t believe I was getting so upset,” he mumbled into my hair.

“Jack,” I said trying to pull away enough to look him in the eyes, “It’s okay we both know this isn’t easy.”

Jack scoffed and pulled me back in using his other hand to tuck my head under his chin. “It’s one thing to acknowledge how hard this is and another to nearly destroy us with a bad mood brought on by your impending departure,” he said sounding so sorry that it hurt.

I chuckled trying to brush off the sting of his hurt from my chest. “It’s going to take a lot more than your pouting to scare me away,” I promised him wrapping an arm around his waist.

Jack sighed and I could hear the hint of his smile peeking through. “You know that you are absolutely perfect, right?” he asked kissing the top of my head.

I chuckled and moved up as Jack let go so that I could hand my ticket to the pleasant looking lady. She wished me a good flight and I tried not to grimace at her as I turned to Jack to take my bag.

“I’ll see you in a month,” I told him hopelessly.

Jack leaned down and kissed me softly on the lips.

“We should FaceTime more often,” he suggested grinning down at me.

“Why do I get the feeling that you have some sort of scheme baking?” I asked pulling away from him.

Jack laughed and I was pushed forward as others started to board the plane. “Maybe I am,” I heard Jack call to me.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head as I made my way onto the plane and to my seat.

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“Cadence,” I heard Momma’s voice from behind me as I tried to sneak into the house at five in the morning after a long drive from the airport.

I turned around smiling innocently. “Hey Momma,” I said looking past her and finding Daddy there giving me a stern look, “Daddy,” I said acknowledging him with a wave. Neither of them looked particularly amused by my greeting so I let out a huff of air and led the way to the kitchen because this was going to turn into a discussion.

“I thought you guys liked Jack,” I mumbled climbing onto a barstool at the breakfast bar.

“This isn’t about Jack,” Daddy said shaking his head.

I took that as a bad sign and started chewing on my bottom lip.

“You are a young adult and have the right to come and go,” Momma began, “but you can’t just ignore the responsibility of your school work to go off for an impromptu weekend getaway.

“I didn’t,” I insisted glad that this wasn’t about something else, “I emailed my teachers and I turned in all of my assignments electronically and even offered to do extra work to make up for my absence.”

“Oh,” Daddy said lamely leaning back on his heels, “well I guess that changes things.” He looked down at the floor for a moment.

“Well how was your weekend dear?” Momma asked getting an excited smile on her face clearly wanting to hear about Jack.

I laughed at the pair of them, “It was really good, I’m glad I went,” I told them smiling at how silly they were.

Daddy kissed my head before heading off to get ready for work and to leave Momma and me to talk.

Momma watched as he left the room and waited to hear him shut the door to lean in closer to me. “You Jack are being safe, right dear?” she asked sounding concerned.

I had to cover my mouth to keep myself from laughing I settled with nodding my head.

“Good,” she said, “not that I wouldn’t love to have little grandbabies I’d just rather you two wait for that.”

I giggled and stood up, “Momma you don’t have anything to worry about I’m going to go take a shower and get ready for class.”

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“How was your little weekend visit?” Addie asked over the phone while I drove home from classes.

I chuckled because weather she meant to or not there was a hint of a suggestion in her tone. “It went really well,” I said smiling, “I’m pretty much dead beat right now because I didn’t sleep last night so that I could catch my red eye back.” I couldn’t help but smile at the memory of Jack begging me to stay until this morning. He almost looked like he was on the verge of tears, and if even one fell I wouldn’t have been able to leave him ever again.

“I told you, you’d end up coming home today,” Addie said clicking her tongue audibly.

I rolled my eyes at her sass. “Yeah,” I agreed with her for the sake of saving myself the argument which was highly unlike me.

“Is everything okay?” she asked obviously picking up that something about me was off.

I sighed heavily waiting a beat before I decided to spill. “I guess everything’s okay now, but I think I almost lost Jack at the airport this morning,” I confessed feeling my chest ache just from the thought of the possibility.

“Whoa there what happened at the airport?” Addie asked sounding genuinely concerned. I guess she knew as well as I did that things going south between Jack and I would not be very good for me.

“He was just being broody over the lack of spare time that either of us have,” I told her trying to shrug it off, “I talked him down before he could… you know,” I finished lamely not able to come up with the right words.

“That’s crazy, Cade,” Addie said sounding absolutely dumbfounded. “I mean, I know you guys don’t get to talk as much as you’d like because of your schedules but I mean that’s nothing to get that upset over.”

I nodded, “Yeah I know that’s what I said, but he’s right,” I admitted, “It’s hard.”

“Well at least you only have one semester left,” she tried to look on the bright side.

I felt a frown form on my lips and my eyebrows pull together. “We haven’t even made it through the first semester yet,” I pointed out.

Addie didn’t have anything to say to that and I knew that I had to figure out a way to get around my classes for next semester.

“What am I going to do, Addie?” I asked hopelessly resting my forehead against my steering wheel after I put my car in back in my driveway.

“You can’t give up your education for a relationship no matter how important it may seem,” Addie said sounding thoughtful.

“I know,” I groaned, “Jack wouldn’t let me even if I wanted to.”

“Well you did alright doing your work online while you were there over the weekend right?” Addie asked sounding excited to hear my answer.

“Yeah Rian had to sit me down once but it wasn’t that bad,” I said lifting my head and eyeing my phone waiting for Addie to finish her thought.

“Well you could talk to an adviser and see about having all online courses for next semester,” Addie said sounding like she was going to fall over from the grand epiphany that she was having.

I began bouncing in my seat realizing that Addie was probably the most brilliant person I knew. “Addie, you are a fucking genius!”

“I know, I know,” Addie conceded. There was no doubt in my mind that she was fluffing her hair and fanning herself for having such a fantastic idea.

“I’m going to call my advisor and set up a meeting for tomorrow, I’ll call you back later,” I told her before saying our goodbyes and hanging up.

Addie might have just made my life ten times easier by pointing out the most obvious solution there is. I could barely control my excitement as I dialed the number to my advisor’s office.