Find Your Own Way

Looking at her calendar Arianna laughed. A month had gone by and she hadn’t even noticed. She stopped crossing off the days when her and Jamie got together. And soon school would start back up. Not that she cared.

Digging her phone out of her pocket she pressed a button and noticed that no, not one month had gone by, but almost two. Where did the time go?

Searching her room for a marker she found herself under her bed. So many of her things hid under here. Finding her box labeled memories she crawled back into the open. Flipping the lid she grinned. Pictures of her and her dad laid on top smiling up at her.

Dumping the contents on to her floor she sifted through them coming to an old necklace she wore when she was a kid. Her dad gave it to her one day when he had to leave for tour. He told her that it was very special to him. And as long as she had it she’d always have a guardian angel looking after her.

Looking at the piece of metal Arianna tried to remember what he had said. It wasn’t pretty or anything. “I bet Jamie would like it though,” she whispered to herself slipping it around her neck. She’d give it to him later.

Finding nothing else that was interesting Arianna pushed everything under her bed and got up. What had she been doing?

Shrugging she ran downstairs and shouted to her parents that she’d be back later.

Coming into the hall Michelle smiled sadly at her daughter. Arianna had gotten so thin the last few months. And she knew exactly why. The drugs were becoming her life.

“You should bring Jamie over for dinner, the guys are having a barbeque again,” Michelle said resting her hands on her stomach. She’d been doing that ever since she learned she was pregnant.

“Alright yeah,” Arianna muttered turning and running out the door.

Going into the living room she laid a hand on Brian’s shoulder. Looking up to his wife he noticed her sad expression. “She leave again?”

Nodding Michelle sat down next to him and let tears slowly ease from her eyes. There was nothing they could do. “She said she’d bring her boyfriend over for dinner though,” she whispered burying her head in his shoulder.

“Less of a dinner for them I bet,” Brian said rubbing his wife’s shoulder.

He had met Jamie once when he came to pick up Arianna for a date. He didn’t approve then and he was positive he wouldn’t approve now.

The kid had worn clothes that had holes all through them, not that he was judging, but they were also clearly dirty. His teeth looked to be rotting, his hair was matted from his lack of hygiene, and to top it all off the kid had wreaked of weed. Brian shuddered to think of his daughter with the guy.

They had tried to keep her from seeing him. She had just shouted at them to eat shit and jumped out of her window.

“What are we going to do when the baby comes,” Michelle spoke her voice cracking. She didn’t even want to think about it. But in six months there would be another addition under the roof.

“I don’t know babe,” Brian replied kissing her forehead. Truthfully he did know. If she didn’t get better… He couldn’t bare to think of it. “Want to go get stuff ready for the barbeque?”

Nodding Michelle got up and went to the kitchen. They would be having steaks, of course, mashed potatoes, and corn. Why? Because that’s what she wanted.



Collapsing next to Jamie, Arianna turned to him and gave his cheek a quick peck.

“Hey,” he said giving her own cheek a peck. “So what time do we have to be over there?”

“Whenever,” Ari replied closing her eyes. It’s not like she ate anyways. And they knew it. So what would it really matter?

“You think they’d let me spend the night?” Jamie randomly asked watching her.

“Maybe, if not I’ll just sneak you up to my room,” Ari said smiling. Chances were they’d say no because they sucked, but if they did say yes he’d end up on the couch. “Have you ever shot up before?”

Nodding Jamie grinned. “You wanna try?”

“Yeah,” Ari said opening her eyes and sitting up.

“You gotta start small but don’t worry, this tiny bit is going to feel like sex, better even” Jamie said preparing a needle for her. Handing her a plastic tie he muttered for her to tie off her arm.

Doing as he said she flexed her hand and laughed. Looking over at Jamie she watched as he finished fixing her needle.

“See this vein right here,” he said tapping a raised one on her elbow. “Slowly push the needle in, okay now pull the plunger back a little, good, see how there’s blood, that means you’re in,” Jamie explained. “Okay now push,” he said untying the tie for her.

Feeling the drug rush through her veins Arianna smiled happily. Total euphoria. All her muscles relaxed and she couldn’t help but laugh happily. “I’m in love,” she whispered.

Nodding Jamie fixed himself up and nodded into the same blissful state as his girlfriend.



Looking up at the clock Brian sighed. An hour passed dinner and she still wasn’t here. Maybe he’d invest in some bars, make her room a jail cell…

“She’ll be here,” Matt said patting his friends back.

“You’re so fucking lucky Blake has a good head on his shoulders,” Brian said turning to his friend. “Make sure he stays that way. You too Vengeance, never let them out of your site.”

Hearing the front door slam against the wall in the entry way Brian’s head, along with everyone else’s, turned in the direction.

“Jamie, shut up,” Arianna scolded stumbling into the sight of the grown ups. Looking around the kitchen she realized her mom wasn’t there and neither were any of her aunts. “Hi guys!”

“I’m Jamie,” Jamie introduced himself sticking his hand out.

“Where’s mom?” Ari asked swatting Jamie’s hand away from her ass.

“Her and your aunts have taken another vacation,” Matt said eyeing Jamie up and down. Brian was right; this kid is trash. “You’re a bit late don’t you think?”

“Not like I’m eating anyway,” she spat turning to her dad. “Can Jamie spend the night?”

“No,” Brian said. “In fact, you’re grounded.”

“What, why?! This is bullshit,” Ari shouted turning to Jamie. Motioning with her eyes for him to leave the room she turned back to her father. “Seriously what the fuck?”

Looking directly at her arm all their eyes widened. Her shirt sleeves barely came down to her elbows and raising her arms showed off her recent adventure.

“What the fuck is that?” Brian said straining to keep his voice at a reasonable level. “Did fucking Jamie do this?”

Hearing his name Jamie popped back up and waved. “You called?” he asked innocently.

“Get the fuck out of my house,” Brian shouted loosing his temper. “Stay the fuck away from my daughter. And don’t even show your face around here again!”

Standing like a deer caught in headlights Ari turned to Jamie and whispered to him just to wait outside the door. She’d come get him when she stormed up to her room.

“Seriously Ari, we are right fucking here and we can hear you,” Brian seethed. Storming over to the pathetic excuse for a boyfriend Brian took a fist full of his shirt and dragged him towards his front door. “Listen to what I said or I’ll call the cops on your ass so fast you won’t have time to run.” Throwing the kid out Brian glared at him one last time before slamming the door shut and locking it.

Going back into the kitchen the guys had Arianna sat at the table and were talking to her. “So what’d you get out of her?” he asked Matt.

“Just that we’re douche bags and we can suck Jamie’s dick,” he relayed looking down at his niece.

Pulling the seat away from the table Brian angled it so it was facing him. Looking into his daughters eyes he frowned. They saying “if looks could kill” hung in the air silently.

“What’d you do Ari? What’d you take?” Brian pleaded kneeling in front of her.

“A piece of God,” Ari said seriously. “And there is nothing you can do to stop me from doing it again.”

“I think there is,” Brian stated getting back up. “No more friends, boarding school, no phone, house arrest sounds pretty dandy.”

Staring at her father Ari silently let her anger boil. She couldn’t believe him. He just didn’t want her to have any fun.

Continuing to list off things that would be forbidden to Ari, Brian watched as her faced became redder and redder. “And we’ll move your room so you don’t have the roof anymore, how about next to mine? I’ll be able to hear your every step.”

“Fuck you,” Ari shouted jumping up and punching her father in the face. “You think you can control me? You can’t. So fuck you.”

Storming from the room without anyone going after her she turned back to them and glared once more. “Oh and before I forget,” she said taking the chain from around her neck. “Angles don’t fucking exist.”

Running after her Johnny grabbed her arm. All the guys were too busy staring at the necklace, he didn’t bother looking at it, already knowing what it was.

“What the fuck do you want?” Ari shouted throwing his arm off her. “I don’t have anything for you!”

Cringing Johnny just grabbed her arm again and looked into her eyes searching for the little girl, for the girl who still had a handle on life when they were up at Big Bear.

“Never forget,” he said trying to remind her.

Scoffing Ari threw his arm off her once more. “Get fucked,” she stated leaving the house at last.

Back in the kitchen all the guys were huddled around Brian as he clutched the necklace in his hand. He remembered back when Ari was five and he had given her the necklace. She had told him she’d never take it off. Years stretched out and the necklace got taken off and forgotten by the young girl. Brian knew she still had it though and that eased him, but now…

Horrible sobs echoed through the house as Brian crumbled to the floor. His daughter, his only daughter, was too far in and he couldn’t save her.