Find Your Own Way

Stumbling into the house drunk Arianna tried her hardest to stifle her laughter. Her parents would be so pissed if they caught her. Not only was she two hours past curfew but she hadn’t even called them to tell them she’d be late.

“Arianna,” Brian said strictly causing the young girl to turn around.

“Hi Daddy,” she exclaimed giving him a big hug. “I love you!”

“You’re drunk,” he stated eyeing her up and down. Her clothes weren’t wrinkled so he didn’t think she had sex, that was a plus. “Do you know what time it is?”

Lifting her wrist Arianna giggled. She didn’t have a watch. “Time for me to get a watch?” she asked laughing some more.

Shaking his head Brian held her head still. “We were worried. You didn’t call, you didn’t even tell us were you were going when you left, what’s gotten into you?”

Cowering back a little Arianna bit her lip. She almost wished that he was yelling. She completely wished that it had been her mom that had caught her. If it had been she’d just make her laugh and then she’d be off the hook.

Sighing Brian grabbed onto her elbow and guided her upstairs to her room. “Go to sleep and we’ll be talking about this tomorrow,” he told her as he shut the door.

Pulling his cell phone out of his pocket he clicked the only person who he’d know would be up. Matt.

“What’s up dude?” Matt answered putting down his xbox controller.

“She’s fucking sixteen dude; sixteen!” Brian answered pulling at his hair. “She came home two hours late mad drunk. I don’t even know who she was with,” he went on.

“Oh,” Matt replied unsure of how to respond. “But she’s okay?”

“Yeah she’s okay,” Brian told him going down into the basement. “I don’t understand why on earth she is getting drunk. It’s not like her life is shit!”

Matt sighed looking up at the ceiling. He could only imagine what his son would be like when he was sixteen. “What’d you say when she got home?”

“I just,” Brian paused sinking into the couch. “I asked her what time it was and you know what she said? Time for her to get a watch!”

Letting out a low chuckle Matt smiled. “Sorry but that is pretty funny.”

Changing the subject Brian squeezed his eyes shut. “You know what tomorrow is,” he said swallowing the lump in his throat.

“I do,” Matt said the laughter gone from his voice. “You going to bring her?”

“I think so,” Brian replied. “I’ve done everything to make sure she wouldn’t go down this path Matt. I don’t want her to end up like that. I don’t want her hating me.”

“She’s not going to hate you. We both know that Max was a completely different story.”

“True, but still,” he paused and took a deep breath. “I’ve never told her the story Matt, I never thought I’d have to.”

“I didn’t think you had. I know it’s hard man but maybe if she hears it she’ll realize what she’s doing.”

“I can only hope so.”

Hanging up the phone Brian took another deep breath before going upstairs and joining his wife in their bed.

“She home?”

“Yeah, go back to sleep,” Brian whispered kissing her cheek. It didn’t take him long to get to sleep.



Waking up with his alarm clock Brian groaned. Nine A.M. didn’t suit him.

Walking downstairs he smelled the most delicious meal. Pancakes, bacon, and eggs were waiting for him. Finding it had been Arianna making it made him raise his eyebrows.

“I just wanted to say sorry about last night,” she whispered sliding a plate to him.

Not commenting on the fact that she should be in bed with a hangover he just nodded and took a bite of his food. He didn’t know when she had become such a good cook but she did at she was amazing.

“I hope you don’t have any plans today,” he commented once he had finished.

“I do actually, can we do it tomorrow?” she asked taking a sip of her orange juice. The truth was is that she did wake up with a hangover, at seven this morning, and then she couldn’t get back to sleep.

“No it can’t,” Brian stated. “Cancel with your friends and get dressed.”

“But dad,” she whined immediately regretting it as she clutched her head. “I’ve had these plans for weeks. It can’t be that important!”

“It is important and I can guarantee I’ve had these plans a lot longer than a couple of weeks,” he spoke finalizing the end of the conversation. “Now cancel with your friends and get dressed. I want to leave in twenty minutes.”

Groaning Arianna rolled her eyes and angrily made her way to her room. Yeah right he had these plans for longer than a couple of weeks! He only just got back from tour a couple of weeks ago!

Meeting his daughter at the car he sighed when he heard her ranting on the phone to one of her friends.

“I know he’s being an asshole, but I gotta go, he’s here,” she said getting in the car and slamming the door shut.

“Call me names all you want Ari but you’re spending the day with me,” he spoke. It took him only a few minutes to get to their first stop. Looking over at his daughter he gave her a small smile, “Now will you wait here or do I need to have you come in with me?”

Rolling her eyes Ari just sat there looking forward wondering why the hell they were at a flower shop. She could see him through the shop’s window as he hugged the sales clerk. “What is he cheating on mom?” she thought bitterly as he made his way back to the car with a million red roses in his hand.

“Hold these please?” he asked when he sat down.

“Why the hell do you have so many? I’m sure mom would appreciate less,” Arianna said counting them. “Holy fuck twenty two dad? Who are you trying to impress?”

Looking over to his daughter Brian simply shook his head, “I’ll tell you when we get there.”

Sitting in silence for a few more minutes Arianna suddenly asked, “Am I adopted?!”

Laughter struck him as he shook his head once more. “No, you aren’t adopted. Why on earth would you think that?”

“Who the hell are these for? You don’t give just anybody this many roses,” Arianna replied looking at her dad like he was crazy. “Are we almost there?”

Nodding his head Brian drove them the short distance to the cemetery. He silently grabbed the roses and got out of the car.

Getting out after him Arianna wondered why they were here. “Dad, why are we here? Uncle Jimmy’s birthday already passed and it’s not that anniversary yet.”

“There’s someone else I’d like you to meet,” Brian answered putting an arm around her shoulders. “Someone I’ve never told you about but you may of heard the guys talking about.”

Stopping in front of her grave he knelt down much like he had the previous years and gave her the flowers.

“I didn’t know Uncle Jimmy had a son? Why’d he die?” Arianna asked brushing some dirt off the headstone.

“Max was his daughter. He didn’t know about her until she was fifteen,” Brian explained. Looking up at his own daughter Brian gave her a soft smile.

Nodding slowly Arianna looked at the grave that she so often stood so close to when she had visited her Uncle with her father. Why hadn’t she ever noticed it before?

“When she came to us she had just lost her mom, she was doing countless drugs, she was full of hate,” Brian continued. “The first time I met her she told me to fuck off, granted I was yelling at her to apologize to Jimmy, something that was going to take a lot of time.”

Falling into silence Brian found himself in the past, all the memories overwhelming him. He still had the letter she had left for him.

“It didn’t take long for Jimmy to turn to drugs again. They did them together. Max sold some to him. It was hard,” Brian said staring at the headstone next to the one they were in front of. “We finally got them in rehab. She had a month left. I had been the last one to see her that day. She pushed me away but she wrote us letters. One for Johnny, one for me, one for her boyfriend, and one for her dad.”

Watching her dad as he silently cried Arianna realized why she was telling him this. He didn’t want her to end up like that. “I’m sorry daddy,” she whispered hugging him. “I’m sorry.”

They stayed like that for a few minutes before it dawned on her. Her middle name. She was named after this girl.

“Just please tell me you aren’t doing drugs, that last night was the first time you’ve ever drank,” Brian begged looking into his daughters eyes. The same eyes that he had.

“I smoked some pot once, but it didn’t do anything! But that’s it,” she said quickly.

“Arianna,” Brian said wiping the tears from his eyes. “You understand why I brought you here right?”

She silently nodded and looked down at the headstone. She swallowed the lump in her throat and read the name over along with the inscription at the bottom.

It read, “On sleepless roads the sleepless go.”