Find Your Own Way

Laughing loudly with Sarah, Ari turned to greet David. “Tomorrow is the day!” she exclaimed. “You gonna cry Davey?”

David laughed and shook his head, “I’m excited for you Ari. Now you ready for our last session?”

Nodding Ari gave Sarah a quick hug before walking away with David. The last two months had been a rollercoaster ride. She couldn’t believe that tomorrow she’d be back home.

“So,” David started. “How are you feeling about tomorrow?”

“Nervous, excited, I’m ready,” Ari said smiling. “I think they’re more nervous than I am actually.”

“It’s possible,” David replied. “What are you nervous about?”

Taking a deep breath Ari shrugged. “They’re throwing a small party, no alcohol or anything, I’m just worried of who might show up.”

“Jamie,” David guessed.

“Yeah,” she admitted. “I know I’m strong enough to turn him away I just… Dad would kill him, everyone would, and I don’t want that for him.”

“You and I both know that’s an exaggeration,” David told her. “From what you’ve told me I highly doubt he’s going to show up. He was the one that turned you away in the first place.”

“I know,” she said. “Still.”

“Other than that,” David smiled. “I’m proud of you. Did you think you could complete this when you first came here?”

“I honestly thought after the first week that I was going to go crazy,” she laughed. “I think I’m more sane.”

David nodded. “And you’ve accomplished so much.”

Ari nodded herself. “Piano wasn’t really a surprise, I learned when I was younger,” she told him. “I can’t wait to show my dad all my songs.”

“Just your dad?” David laughed. “He’s going to love them.”

Looking up to the clock Ari sighed. “There’s no way I can get out of going to group is there?”

David laughed again and shook his head. “Believe it or not everyone is very happy to be seeing you go. We’re all proud of you.”

Nodding Ari gave him a tight hug. “Walk me to group?”

Opening the door for her David smiled as she made her way down the hall beside him. Three months ago she was just a broken girl, hell one month ago she was broken, and now she was standing on her own two feet happy with the world.



Packing up the rest of her belongings Ari looked around the room once more. She was so happy to be going, not only because she knew it was a new start for her, but also because she wouldn’t have to stare at these yellow walls anymore.

Taking a deep breath she turned to the door way and smiled at Peggy.

“You ready?” Peggy asked quietly holding onto her emotions as best as she could.

Ari nodded and pulled the older woman into a hug. “I was ready last week,” she laughed. “Thank you so much Peggy, I mean it.”

“It was my pleasure,” Peggy replied smiling. “Now I don’t want to see you back here okay? Stay out of trouble.”

“Me? Trouble?” Ari laughed. “I’ll do my best.”

Nodding Peggy walked with Ari down the hall for the last time. She was very happy for Ari.

Turning into the reception hall she smiled as Ari caught sight of her family. Looking up at Peggy, Ari’s jaw dropped.

She knew she’d be seeing them all today but here? Turning back to them she smiled brightly before running and tackling her dad.

“Daddy,” she squeaked hugging him tight. “Oh my god.”

Laughing Brian hugged her back. “You ready to go home Sweets?”

Ari nodded and waved to Peggy and David who were standing watching the reunion. This was it, she was finally going home.



Walking through the door she smiled. She had worked so hard to get here, to get passed all her problems. And it hadn’t been easy.

She remembered David had told her, “When shit hits the fan, you don’t always have an umbrella.” Her reply was that she would get an umbrella tattooed on her. He just laughed and shook his head.

“So what do you think Sweets? You ready to have some fun?” Brian asked standing behind his daughter as she took in the home in front of her; a home she didn’t even think she would belong in.

Turning to her Dad she nodded.

Once they were all out in the backyard she had to bite her lip. She wasn’t expecting her cousins to be here. She just thought it’d be the guys. But alas, Blake, Matt and Val’s son was here, along with Jesse and Nathan, Zacky and Gena’s kids. And sitting in his highchair was little James.

“Welcome home!” they shouted embracing her in a tight group hug.

“Can we have cake now?” Nathan asked looking excitedly over to the baked good.

Laughing Brian looked over to Ari who just shrugged. Leave it to Nathan, who was very much like Zacky, to ask if they could eat.



“Hey Dad,” Ari said quietly smiling at him.

“Hey Sweets,” he replied motioning for her to come and cuddle up to him. “So how’s your first day back?”

Thinking for a moment she just smiled, “Crazy, amazing, nothing I could have imagined.”

“But good?”

“Great,” she told him. “Do you think I could show you something?”

“Of course,” Brian replied looking down at his daughter. “What is it?”

“Well while I was in there I started playing again and I wrote some songs,” she whispered looking out the window. Rain had started to fall and thunder rumbled deep in the sky.

“Well then let’s here it,” he exclaimed jumping off the couch and pulling her up with him.

Nodding they made their way down to the basement. Ari was a bit nervous to show her dad what she wrote but she would.

Pressing the notes she smiled as she started to get more into the song.

“And it came to me then that every plan is a tiny prayer to father time, as I stared at my shoes in the ICU that reeked of piss and 409, and I rationed my breaths as I said to myself that I’d already taken too much today, as each descending peak on the LCD took you a little farther away from me, away from me,” she sang closing her eyes.

“Amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines in a place where we only say goodbye, it stung like a violent wind that our memories depend on a fault camera in our minds, but I knew that you were a truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all, and I looked around at all the eyes on the group as the TV entertained itself,

“’Cause there’s no comfort in the waiting room, just nervous pacers bracing for bad news, and then the nurse comes round and everyone will lift their heads, but I’m thinking of what Sarah said that ‘love is watching someone die’

“So who’s going to watch you die? So who’s going to watch you die?” Finishing the song she took a deep breath and looked up to her father.

With tears running down his cheeks he pulled her to him. He couldn’t even form words to explain what he was feeling. He could only nod down at her and hope that she understood.

Smiling she hugged him tight and kissed his cheek. “It’s what I was born to do that. Writing has helped me so much. I can’t even explain it.”

Brian just nodded. There was nothing he could say. He was so happy for her. Nothing would take her away again, and he would be there to watch her grow into the performer that she was.