Find Your Own Way

Glaring out the window Arianna looked over to Johnny who had invited himself along. Why, she had no clue.

“Yes Ari?” Johnny asked feeling her heated gaze on him.

“Why the fuck did you come? Lacey not putting out,” she spat her gaze not wavering.

“She’s on vacation with her parents,” Johnny told her not phased by her attitude. “Why’d you come?” He laughed and replied to his own question, “Oh right, you had to.”

“Fuck you Seward,” she seethed turning her gaze back to the window. When she started referring to them with their last names that when you knew she was pissed.

Brian sighed looking into the backseat through the rearview mirror. This was suppose to be a nice trip but if her attitude didn’t change it was going to be anything but.

“Can I have a smoke?” she randomly asked looking hopeful to Johnny.

“Do I look crazy? No,” he replied meeting Brian’s gaze. This was definitely going to be a long weekend.

“Arianna,” Michelle said quietly looking back at her daughter. She kept having to remind herself that this wasn’t her fault. That there wasn’t anything she could have done differently. “Honey, can you please try to enjoy this?”

Mimicking her mother under her breath Arianna rolled her eyes. She would enjoy this immensely if she could have a joint, or just a smoke.

“You’re going to have the worst time if you continue with that rotten mood of yours,” Brian spoke glancing back at her. He didn’t know how long she had been on drugs but she already looked like hell from the withdrawal. Maybe he would let her have a cigarette. He remembered back to when Jimmy was detoxing, he just hoped this wouldn’t have to get that bad.

“Might as well make it just as horrible for you,” she muttered glaring up at her father.

“We’re going to have a grand time, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Brian countered. Looking over at his wife he motioned with his eyes down to his pack of cigarettes. Understanding what he was saying she just shrugged, it was up to him. Picking up the pack he threw them back at her. “Calm down and stop being a bitch.”

“I wouldn’t be a bitch if you hadn’t gotten rid of my drugs,” she told him gratefully taking out a cigarette. Realizing she didn’t have a lighter she glanced up at her dad who laughed.

“Stop being a bitch and I’ll give you a lighter.”

“Fuck you,” she retorted turning her gaze once again to Johnny. “Give me your lighter.”

Rolling his eyes Johnny just looked the other way. She wasn’t going to stop being a bitch even with the nicotine running through her.

“Daddy,” Arianna whined. “Can I please have a lighter?”

Handing the lighter back to her Michelle just sighed. There was literally nothing she could say. If this continued she’d need another vacation.



Walking around the camp Arianna sighed. She had more or less stolen her fathers cigarettes and had no intention of giving them back. She just wish that she could find someone up here camping that might have a joint, but that wouldn‘t happen. No one was here except them.

Sitting on a large rock at the edge of the woods Arianna stared up to their cabin. She was just happy she wouldn’t have to share a room with anyone like the other times they had come up. It had usually been Matt’s kid who she didn’t even given a second look.

Watching Michelle make her way towards her she sighed. She just wanted to be left alone.

“Yeah?” she asked when her mother was close enough to hear her.

“Wanna come inside? The chili will be done soon,” Michelle replied slouching her shoulders. She wasn’t sure when Arianna had eaten last and she was sure that what she had ate wasn’t anything big.

“I’m not hungry,” she mumbled taking out a cigarette. “Thanks though.”

“Alright,” Michelle sighed. “I’ll come back after we’re done. I think we might play a game of some sort.”

Arianna bit back her response and watched her mother walk away again.

Looking up at the sky she realized just how dark it had gotten. The moon was crawling up and the sun had just barely set. It truly was beautiful and it made her smile.

Stuffing her hands in her pants she wrinkled her eyebrows. She hadn’t remember leaving anything in them. Pulling out a small baggy she almost screamed with joy. There was enough weed to make a joint.



Wobbling into the cabin Arianna grinned. She didn’t even need to smoke the whole joint to get to cloud nine. The perks of smoking alone, she thought. And being a lightweight.

“Hi guys, we playing a game?” she asked eyeing her dad’s bowl of chili. “Is there any of that left?”

Looking up surprised Michelle nodded. “I’ll get you a bowl.”

Nodding she sat down smiling. “So game,” she asked again.

“Oh yeah,” Brian said, scratching his head. “Monopoly sound good?”

“Sounds great,” Arianna replied greedily taking the bowl from her mother. She was certain that if she wanted to she could eat the entire pot, but she thought she shouldn’t, to avoid suspicion. “I’m the car!”

Laughing Johnny went and got the board setting it up while she ate her food. She was always the car. He always got the hat, but since it was only the four of them he’d get a better piece.

“You’re in a good mood,” Brian commented taking a bite of his food.

“Yep,” she agreed. Finishing her bowl she looked up to her mother and motioned for more. “And hungry.”

Starting the game while Arianna continued her food Johnny called banker and handed out the right amount of money.

“So who goes first?” Johnny asked a little shaky on the rules. It had been a year since he had last played and he had to look at the directions so he knew how much money each person was suppose to get.

“We roll the dice and whoever gets the highest,” Arianna snickered a little and continued, “goes first.”

Rolling the dice Brian sighed. Just his luck he’d get a two.

Taking her turn Michelle rolled a six.

Grabbing the dice and tossing them in the air Arianna grinned when she got an eleven.

“Well then,” Johnny said picking them up. There was no way he’d get a twelve. And he didn’t. He got a three. “You go first.”

Shaking the dice once more Arianna moved her piece to Oriental Avenue. “I’ll buy it,” she shouted handing the correct amount of money over and accepting her property.

Rolling for himself Brian sighed. He should just resign from the game now. Taking his spot on the newly acquired Oriental Avenue he softly asked how much he owed her.

“Only six dollars Daddy, don’t fret,” she laughed snatching his money.

They played for another couple hours before Brian deemed Arianna the winner. He had gone bankrupt long ago and was getting tired.

“Sore loser,” she laughed throwing her money in the air. “I win! I win!”

“Yeah, and now you can pick up the money,” Brian said. Turning to his wife he smiled. She was so happy to see Arianna in this mood. “You ready for bed babe?”

“I’ll be up in a bit,” she told him taking Arianna’s bowl to the sink. She’d have to do dishes tomorrow.

Pointing a finger at her uncle Arianna continued to brag over her win and continued to throw the fake money around.

“You know Ari, there are such things as sore winners,” he muttered rubbing his eyes. “Join me for a cigarette?”

Rolling her eyes Arianna nodded. Maybe she’d finish the rest of that joint. Then again they still had three days left up here.

“You found weed didn’t you?” Johnny asked when they were a little ways away from the cabin. “That’s why you came in all jolly and starved.”

“Uh,” she said staring at him like a deer caught in headlights. “No.”

“Your eyes are red,” he commented lighting up his cigarette. “I honestly don’t care if you smoke weed just don’t tell your parents I said that.”

Bursting out in laughter Arianna just shook her head. “Is that some kind of backwards psychology to get me to admit to something?”

Shaking his head Johnny inhaled deeply. He knew Brian probably wouldn’t want him telling this to her, especially in the light of recent events, but he had a small thought that it could help her. Somehow.

“When we were younger we did things,” Johnny told her. “We were just a crazy as you.”

“Really?” Arianna asked her eyes lighting up. “Why’d you stop?”

“We grew up,” he replied taking a seat on the neighboring cabins steps. “Your Uncle Jimmy was the worse. He didn’t stop when we did. He kept going.” Taking a deep breath Johnny looked up at the stars. He hadn’t talked about his old friend in a long time. “After a while his heart couldn’t take it anymore so he stopped. And then Max came in the picture and fucked things up again,” he explained. “How much did your dad tell you about her?”

“Not much, just that when you guys met her, her mom had died, and she was resentful. And that she killed herself in rehab,” she whispered taking a seat next to him.

Nodding Johnny took an old piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to her. “Read it,” he told her and his voice was so quiet she almost didn’t hear him.

Biting her lip she opened the folded piece of paper and read it over. She wasn’t sure why he’d given it to her and she didn’t really want to ask.

“She doesn’t sound so bad,” Arianna said handing it back to him. “I mean I know she brought hell to you guys but,” she trailed off looking up to her uncle. She wouldn’t say anything but she saw tears in his eyes. After all these years she wondered why he was still so beat up about it.

Looking down at his niece Johnny gave her a weak smile. He knew she’d say that. He just wish he could explain the story better. Taking a deep breath he got up and started walking away before he turned around again. “We love you Ari, never forget that.”