You're Leaving Me Just When I Thought You Were Mine

I grabbed the bottle away from her and take it to my room and locked it on my closet.
I wasn't in a good mood. After that argument with Mike, I was irritated.
Bekah followed me to her room. "What gives?!" She yelled at me, trying to open my walk in closet.
Jaime comes in. "I'll leave if you want me to."
We both look at him.
"No, don't go. I need to talk to you. Let me just handle this."
Bekah was looking through my drawer, throwing my clothes everywhere, trying to find my key. "Where the hell is it at?"
I grab ahold of her shoulder and turn her around. "You're banned from drinking again! You can't cope with alcohol!"
"Denise, I really think that's my decision to make. Now GIVE ME THE FUCKING KEY!!!" She got all up on my face and I did the same.
"YOU'RE NOT DRINKING IT ANYMORE!" I yell back.
"You do know I can just go down to the liquor store and by another one, right?"
"Bekah, just STOP! You're just killing yourself!"
"As long as I don't have to see him, than i don't mind dying."
I got even more mad, "YOU WANT TO DIE OF ALCOHOL POISONING?! THEN BE MY FUCKEN GUEST!" I walked out after grabbing Jaime's hand. I leave the house and we go to his place.
"Uh, what's going on?" He finally asked as we sat down on his porch outside. I sat Indian style on his chair and looked back at my house.
"I'm so sorry about everything. About Shane and I and then the argument with Vic and just now with Bek and I. I seriously thought moving here would be a fresh start for Bekah. But I guess I was wrong." I look up at the moon and then back down to my arms on my laps.
"It all started in high school. When Bekah and I met Vic. I wasn't as close as I was with Bek back then. Vic sorta brought me close to her. We all were the trouble makers in our Biology class and that's how we all got together. Vic and Bekah clicked, in a way and I knew she had a crush on him. I just didn't think it's get that big. All of high school, we did everything together. Beach, parties, even though Bekah didn't like it, she went because Vic went. We also met Mike when he became a freshmen. Then we graduated and made a pact that we would go to college together and continue being friends." I shifted in my seat and continued. "So we entered college and Vic and Bekah started happening very slowly. I ditched them for a party so they can have dinner together and then Vic finally made a move on her." I looked at him. "You should have seen how happy Bekah was. She's the type of girl who hates everyone in the world who just wants to break things and doesn't care what anyone says. But when it comes to Vic, she has a whole different personality." I played with my bracelet in my wrist. "Vic kept telling us how badly he wanted to be in a band like Pantera and The Used. One day he went to Guitar Center and found a guy--"
"Tony." He said.
"Was that really Tony?" I raised one eye brow and sat a different way, with my leg crossing the other.
"Yeah, he used to work there." He smiled. "Continue."
"Well, Vic started ignoring us. Well ditching us for you guys. He promised who wouldn't do it again but ended up breaking the promise. He had a game one day and he scored the winning goal. We tried to give him a congratulatory hug but he ignored us and left with his friends."
"What a jerk."
I laughed, "Yeah, that's what we said. Mike told us that day that you guys got signed to a record company and you guys had to leave for some tour and Bekah got upset and made Vic promise he wouldn't drop out of school."
"But he did."
I nodded my head yes. "He still promised her. So the next day, I went out and Vic came over to our dorm and he and Bekah....you know...." I gesture my fingers implying sex.
"Oh...OHHHHHH!" He made a weird face and I laughed.
"It was their first time." I looked at him and removed the strands of my hair away from my face that were blowing from the wind. "She fell even more in love. But then that jerk face took off. That was the last we ever saw of him until tonight. No phone calls. Or letters. Nothing. Mike only stayed in contact with us. Bek ran to his dorm the next morning and it was completely empty. It hurt me so much seeing her depressed. She was miserable. After three freakin years, she still wasn't over it."
"Man." He rubbed his chin and looked down at the floor.
"She drowns herself with alcohol every time she starts to think of him. Every little thing reminds her of him. That's why we had that fight earlier. I don't like seeing my best friend like that."
He looked like he wanted to say something, but fought it.
I fixed myself on the seat. "I don't like this chair."
"Yeah I don't either." He chuckled.
"Promise me you won't say anything about this?" I looked at his chocolate brown eyes and he smiled.
"Promise."
"Bekah will literally kill me if she finds out I told you about her ITSY time with Vic."
He chuckled, "It's all good. I won't say a word. I'll pretend like I never knew anything."
I smiled And looked back at my house and noticed some guy looking suspicious in my front lawn.
"Is that Tony?" I told Jaime.
"Yes, that is indeed a turtle I see. What the hell is he doing?"
"Bekah." I got up and started running to my house. Jaime ran behind me.
I then see a car pull up at Jaime's house and Mike gets out with Vic.
I stopped running and looked at them. "What are you guys doing here?"
"Vic is going to talk to Bekah. Isn't that right, Vic?" Mike said, shoving Vic towards my house.
"Stop pushing me." Vic growled while smoothing his shirt down.
Tony is in there with Bekah.
Fuck.
I began to run again and slam open the door and go straight to Bek's room. I slam open the door and I see Tony and Bekah, in bed, ripping each other clothes off.
"BEKAH! TONY! Vic is coming inside!" I shout at them and Bekah pushes Tony off of him.
"WHAT!? KICK HIM OUT! I DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM!" She shouts, looking for her shirt.
Tony gets up from the ground, "Ow?!" He gets his shirt and starts putting it on. "Cock blocker."
He told me.
Bekah gets out of her bed, throws Tony and me out the door and slams the door shut and locks it.
Mike and Vic come in with Jaime and they looked around the house.
I knocked on her door. "Bekah, get out!"
"NO!" She yells and cranks her stereo up so she couldn't hear us.
"She locked herself inside?" Mike said coming down the hallway.
"Yeah. Again." I replied.
He starts knocking, "Beks, it's Mike. Please open it."

No response.

I place my hands on my hips and let out a sigh of frustration. "BEKAH OPEN YOUR FUCKEN DOOR!"

Nothing.

"Does she have a window?" Jaime asked Tony.
"Why you asking me for? I don't live here."
"You were in her room." Hime slaps the back of his head and it makes Tony step forward.
"Why were you in her room?" Mike asked Tony. "Don't you have a girlfriend?"
"She probably cheats me also." He scrunched his eyebrows and Vic just stares at him with even more sad eyes. He looked even more upset. Like his heart broke.
"I'll go outside and check her window." I told the boys and start walking down the hall way.
"I'll go with her." Jaime insists and walks after me.
"Hopefully she didn't lock the window." I tell Jaime and go to the side of the house and unlock the gate. We approach her window and I tried sliding it open.

It was locked.

"She's not stupid." I say to myself.
"Don't you know how to pick locks?" Hi-me reminds me.
"OH YEAH!" I exclaimed. "Why didn't I think of that. I like you Jaime." I pat his arm.
He smiled big and we go back inside the house. I grab the pocket knife and get a bobby pin from my hair.
"Step aside, let a woman come through." I tell the guys, and they step away.
"What are y--"
"Shut up Vic." I said and continue.

I finally got it to unlock and I open the door and find her painting on her easel but she quickly whips her head at us. She gets up immediately and I immediately push Vic inside there and close the door.
I hold on to the door knob as Bekah pounds her fist on the door and tries opening the door.
"I FUCKEN HATE SHANE FOR TEACHING YOU HOW TO PICK LOCKS!!!!" She shouted and I laughed.
"Let me hold on to the door knob, since I'm strong." Mike said grabbing the door knob.
"Are you trying to say I'm weak?!" I retorted and gave him an ugly stare.
"I didn't me--yes. Yes, I am." He said, and gave me a fake smile that showed all his teeth.
"Must I remind you that I took cheer for eight years, played soccer and took kick boxing class!?" I yell at him.
"That is fucken hot." Tony says, with his mouth slightly open.
"DENISE I'M GOING TO FUCKEN KILL YOU! LET ME OUT!" She almost opens the door but Mike took over.
"See what I mean." He said and I punch his arm. "Ey! No seas sangrona!"
"Vic said I hit harder than you." I reminded him.
"That was four years ago!" He flexes one of his biceps. "Try to beat that. Eh?"
I laughed.
"DENISE SICLARI!"
"We'll let go only if you listen to Vic!" Mike shouts.
"So, can I go home or what? Vic's stealing my chick tonight."
We all look at him and Jaime slaps the back of his head again.
"What the fuck man." He said and starts walking down the hall. "I'll call my girl instead." He exists the front door.
"You and Jaime can go talk if you already haven't." Mike said, glaring at me.
"Oh, we already talked." Jaime smiled and looked at Mike.
Then stopped smiling.
"Really?" He looked back at me.
"No, Jaime, let's go back to your place." I say and grab his hand.
"Wh--I--okay."

-Bekah's POV-

"GOD DAMMIT, MIKE. LET ME OUT." I roared through the door.
"No! Vic needs to talk to you!" He yelled back at me.
"You think I'm going to talk or listen to him? Really, Mike!?"
"Bekah--" Vic started and I shot a glare at him, and went back to yelling at Mike, "I don't want to do this." I said putting my forehead against the door, "Mike, don't make me do this."
"You have to talk to him." He said through the door again.
"Fine." I growled through the door again.

I walked to my window and began to unlock it, "Bekah, what are you doing?" Vic said coming from behind me grabbing my wrist.
I pulled away from him, "Don't fucking touch me. Get away from me." I slid my window open, and began to climb out, "You really think I'm talking to you?" I got out completely and he began to stare at me, "Fuck that. You fucked up, Vic. Why do you think I'm the way I am today?! BECAUSE OF YOU. This is YOUR fault." I said sliding the window shut.

I opened the fence door and was stopped by Mike, I looked up at the night sky, "Son of a bitch." I shoved passed him, "Get away from me, Mike." I said and began to run.
He began to run behind me and brought me over his shoulder, "I'm locking you in that fucking house. You need to fucking talk to him!" He yelled at me and shoved me through the front door and slamming it shut.
I pounded on the door, "FUCK YOU, MIKE." I shouted.
"Keep screaming, baby. Not going to get you anywhere." He laughed through the door.

I sighed and put my back against the door, slid down to the ground and put my head in my hands.

"Bekah--" Vic said coming up to me.
I don't respond.
"So, you're just not going to talk to me?" Vic said kneeling down next to me.

I get up and walked to Denise's room, looking for her fucking key, as Vic follows behind me, "Why should I?" I say looking through her draws, and under her bed.
"Because I need to apologize to you." He said keeping to himself.
"Are you doing it because you're being forced to, or are you doing it because you want to, Victor?" I shoved pass him again, looking in her jewelry box.
He stayed silent, "That's what I thought, Vic." I said finally finding the key to the closet that was in her jacket pocket.

I unlocked the door to the closet, and grabbed the Whiskey bottle that was laying on the ground.

Oh, sweet, sweet, release.

I opened the bottle and started to drink it, "Bekah, can I just please talk to you?" He says taking the glass bottle away from my lips.
"What the fuck! Give it back!" I said reaching out for it, but he kept pulling it away from me.
"Can you just bare with me?" He said as I began to walk away from him.
I snapped my head back, "Wow, doesn't that sound familiar?" I began to walk away from him again, he grabbed my hand and pulled me to face him.

My faces inches away from him, my breathing was heavy from my angry, my hands clinched in fists, I pulled his hand away from me, then I began to step back.
"Well you just stop! I'm sorry, Bekah!" He shouted at me.
I stayed silent.
"I'm sorry for everything I put you through, I'm sorry I broke our promise, I'm sorry I left you and Denise, I'm sorry I was such an asshole--"
"ARE an asshole." I said crossing my arms across my chest.
"I'm sorry that I AM an asshole, I'm sorry." He said stepping closer to me, "I'm sorry that I left without telling you, I'm sorry for what I did to you and left without a word. I'm sorry, Bekah."

I turned my back to him and stared at my feet, and sighed heavily.

I'm going to regret this later.

I pushed the hair back out of my face and looked up at the ceiling, "You're forgiven. Now get out." I say with no emotion.
"What?" He stepped closer to me.
"Get out."
"No. You're just saying that so I can leave. You don't actually forgive me because I wouldn't forgive me."
I looked at him and walk away but he grabs my wrist and pushes me against the wall.
"What the fuck, Vic!" I shout and try to get away from his grip but I saw how big his arms were and I knew I was no match.
"I'm not leaving until you hear me out. Im not necessarily leaving until you forgive me because that's all on you. I'm extremely sorry I left you alone like that. From the bottom of my heart. Yeah I AM a fucking asshole but I just couldn't get myself to tell you that I was leaving for tour the next day. Don't you think I felt guilty for doing that to you?"
"Vic,"
"NO! I'm not done. Do I regret doing that to you? In a way I did but in another way I don't. If I didn't leave, I wouldn't have the job of my dreams that I have right now. I cried, I coped with alcohol the same way you are. I couldn't look at another girl the same way I look at you because I love you, Bekah. I fucking love you."
"If you love me, like you say you do, wouldn't you FUCKING CALL AND APOLOGIZE?! It takes you three long depressing years for you to apologize?! Do you know how I've been those three horrible years? I was a fucking burden to Denise. She can't go out and enjoy herself because she worried about me being alone! She has to call me every twenty minutes to check up on me and if I don't answer, she goes straight home!" I shouted in his face, that was four inches away from mine.
He soften his grip and I pushed him away.

"MIKE DID THE SAME SHIT TO ME! If you listen to the songs I wrote, they explain everything I went through after leaving you! Yeah I didn't call you because I know you wouldn't pick up or I know you'll just yell at me and never talk to me again. I was a coward and I admit it."
He paused and he saw tears coming down my face. "My feelings for you never left, Bekah. I'm still in love with you since high school and I never let you go, even if I tried, something always reminds me of you." He stopped shouting and got closer to me with every word he said. I was looking down at my socks, trying my best not to forgive him, but who am I kidding? I'm in love with this douchebag and I know I'll forgive him right away. I just can't look at him right now. It hurts too much.

It was quiet for a moment, he lifted up my chin and I saw his guilty brown eyes looking at mine.
I wanted to slap him and just hit him with anything near me but a part of me wanted to be back in his arms and stay there forever.
My happy place.

"You made me think you've forgotten about me. You left me alone with all this to deal with." I said softly.
"I still love you, Bekah." He said in a whisper.
He lowered his head down to mine and hesitated to kiss me but I move myself forward so my lips finally met his after so long.
Our lips moved in sync as tears rolled down my cheeks, and it sent me back to the day we shared our first kiss. The joyfullness it had brought me. The stupid feeling in the pit of my stomach and my heart swelling.
I knew from this moment that I was meant to be with Vic. He'll always be holding my heart.
It beats for him.
Like everything felt right again.
With this kiss, I couldn't stay mad at him. It made me forget everything in the past.
I yearned for this moment. The warmth of his lips pressed against mine, his soft tanned hands on my bare skin and his presence near me.
I couldn't fight it.
I love Vic.

The kiss finally came to an end and he slowly pulled away from me. He moved my black bangs to the side so that he could see my eyes. I was looking down.
Holding back the other wave of tears that were gathering in my eyes.
He caressed my cheek with his hand and lifted my chin up again.
"You don't have to forgive me just now. I'll let you think about it for a few days or however long it takes you. Just know that I love you Bekah. I never did stop loving you.
I didn't want it to be like this."
I locked my eyes with his. And he continued, "Even if you'll never forgive me, I will wait for you. My arms will always be open wide for you. We're playing in town in a few days, come there and let me know." He stepped away, looked at me for a second with a grin and headed out the door.
I stood still and just took all of that in.
I still hate him.
But I love him.
I hate that I love him.

I herd the door shut behind him, and I stood there in shock.
I finally saw Vic after all these years, after all this time. He now apologizes to me! What the fuck am I suppose to do now?
Him and his stupid face, and his stupid nose ring that he has now, and his stupid voice, and his stupid hair, and his stupid everything.
Son of bitch.
I find the whiskey again, it was laying on the coffee table, and put it to my lips.
Before I could taste it I put t down and look at it.

Am I seriously going to drown myself in you again?

Come on, Bekah. You know it helps.

Does it really? I don't want to anymore.

A few more swigs can't hurt.

If you say so.

I say back to my conscience and put it to my lips again.