You're Leaving Me Just When I Thought You Were Mine

"So, what do you say?" Mike said over the phone with happiness in his voice. I wasn't happy. But I wanted to hang out with him and catch up.
"I'll go," I started to say.
"Yay!" He shouted with excitement.
"If-" I started.
"If what?" He questioned, curiously.
"If it's just me and you. No one else, promise? We can catch up while we do this." I said grabbing my keys off my nightstand, staring at the box in my closet.
"Of course. I promise." I heard him smile through the phone line which made me smile.
"Alright, do you want me to pick you up or do you want to just meet there?" I said while closing my closet door after grabbing my flannel shirt off the hanger. I putt the phone between my shoulder and cheek while putting my left arm through the sleeve I my shirt.
"Uh--Just go ahead and meet me there. I have to talk to Vic about some stuff. And I'm pretty sure you don't want to see Vic just yet. You still need to think." He said as I heard Vic over the line. I listened carefully.

"Who is it?"

"Oh, yeah. Sure. I'll meet you there." I forced a smile, even though he can't see it. I grabbed my phone with my left hand, then put my arm in the right sleeve and pulling it around my shoulder. I then pull my hair out from underneath it and smooth out my shirt.
"Alright, Bekah. I'll see you there in a few. I love you, little sister." He add a chuckle at the end.

"You're talking to Bekah?" I heard Vic say, sounding shocked, "Mike, give me the phone."

"I love you too, man. See you in a bit." I took the phone away from my ear and quickly tapped "End Call".

I sighed of relief. I didn't want to talk to Vic just yet.
I pulled the sleeves up to my elbows and grabbed my belt, and put it through my belt loops and buckled it.
I grabbed my wallet and put it in my back pocket along with my phone.
I bit my lip and looked in the mirror.
Pulling and tugging on the skin from my face. The bags under my eyes, from the sleepless nights I've been having. I'm so restless.
I worry too fucking much.
I put my fingers through my bangs and pushed them back, walking out of the door, then went to Denise's room.
I knocked on the door, and opened it slightly, "Hey," I said coming into her while she sat on her bed, hugging her pillow tight looking down, but faced me as she heard my voice.
"Hey," she responded softly.
"Are you okay?"
"A lot of thinking, that's all." She said looking away.
"I'm not forcing you to do anything, but if you end things with Shane, I'm sure you guys will still be friends afterwards." I said walking to her bed and sitting next to her.
"I don't know, B."
"You can always just try, or think about it. I've never seen you stare at Shane the way you do at Jaime. It's totally different."
"Really?" She smiled at me.
"Yes, really. It's so fucking cute." I laughed with her, "Now get your ass up, go do something. Go shopping. I'm going out with Mike for a couple of hours."
"I probably will, and I'm buying clothes for you, too. You always wear flannels." She tugs on the collar.
"What the fuck are wrong with flannels?!" I scowled, standing up from her bed.
"Everything! They're for Canadian people! And you're from Texas!" She said with laughter.
"Oh whatever! I dress the way I want to! You can but my clothes, as long as it's not that frilly shit." I laughed and began to walk out of her door, but she stopped me with a question.
"Bekah?" She asked standing up from her bed.
"Hm?" I hummed.
"Are you going to forgive him? Vic. Once you choose, I'll make my decision also." She holds a necklace in her hands as she stands there.
I shove my hands in my pockets, "That's why I'm going with Mike today, we're going to talk about it. And just catch up mostly."
She nods, "Where are you and Mike going exactly?"
"I'm gonna get another tattoo, he's going to get his throat tatted."
"Oh, okay. I'll see you at home tonight?" She asked going to her closet to get something.
"Yeah, I'll be home. And so should you." I give her reassuring smile.
"I will. I'll call you once I'm at the mall getting clothes for you." She smiled, but I know she forced it.
"Okay" I said as I made my way to the front door.

Please choose Jaime, D.

I get in my car and turn the ignition on.
Surprisingly, I didn't put any music on. I just wanted complete silence on my way to tattoo parlor. I still had lots to think. I even made a list of reasons why I shouldn't go back with him and reasons why I should.
So far....it's a tie.

I pulled up at the parking lot and park my car, waiting inside for Mike to get here or reply to my text that I had sent him.
I was happy seeing him, since it wasn't a good day the day Den and I encountered him at the bar. I couldn't really enjoy myself, by today, I will enjoy it. No Vic around. Just me and good ol' Mike. Having one of our hang outs like in high school.

My phone vibrates and I check my messages.
"I'm inside, baby girl."
-Mike Whiskey
I smile to myself, and put my phone back in my pocket.

I sigh, "let's get some ink on me." I said to myself and get off the car.
"Took you long enough!" Mike said while I opened the door to the shop. He came to hug me.
I laughed, "Sorry, sorry. I was talking to Denise."
"About Jaime?" He asked and I looked down.
"Yeah. I told her Jaime was a good decision. But it's all on her." I walked to the books of tattoo designs on the counter. Mike walked next to me and leaned over looking at me.
"I told her the exact same thing. But I don't know Shane personally. Whatever she chooses, I'll be happy for her."

I looked through pages trying find the perfect tattoo. I wanted it on my left arm, I really want to start a sleeve. I was thinking of getting a bird cage, a sugar skull, or a silhouette.

"I'm getting this." He pulled out a paper from his pocket and showed me. It had a design around the words 'Heart & Soul' on it.
"Who knew you had a heart and soul." I joked and he pushed me away lightly.
"Shut up," He laughed and his friend called him to sit down. "Let's do this."
I kept looking through the pages until I found the perfect tattoo.
A bird cage with silhouettes of birds.
Perfect.
"Bekah, are you ready?" One of Mike's friend asks and I nod my head yes with a smile.
I sit down on the seat, next to Mike, and get ready for my tattoo.
"So let's talk. Well you talk, since I can't really talk while I get this tatted."
I swallowed and slightly opened my mouth. "Well, Mike, it really is a hard decision....."

-Denise POV-

I looked at the necklace Shane had given me on our one year anniversary. Before we ended the relationship and began seeing other people. It was a heart locket that contained our photo inside. He was kissing my cheek and I was smiling. I grinned while looking at it, but I closet the locket so I wouldn't cry.
Bekah comes in and I just look down to the floor.
She was leaving to get a tattoo, but I wanted to let her know the day she makes a decision I would too.
I don't know if I'll make the right decision, but whatever makes me happy, will be my choice. For now, I needed to go shopping to get my mind off this decision.

I go to my closet and pick out an outfit to wear, since I was wearing my pajamas. I change and rub some lotion on my arms since they look ashy.
I put on my Toms and head to the door but I stopped when I heard a knock.
My heart jumped.

Who could it be?

Probably Bekah left her wallet or something. She tends to forget things lately because of all the thinking she's been doing this past week.
I turn the door knob and I find Shane there with a big smile on his face. He had his phone on one hand and pulls me in for a hug with the other.
I got on my tippy toes and hug back, but as I put my head over his shoulder, I see Jaime and Vic out side, across the street. Jaime was looking my way. He didn't look too content. Vic patted his back and they got inside the car.
I look down and hug Shane longer, scrunching my eyes do I can forget what I just saw.
"Babe," he pulled away and lifted my chin up to him.
I smiled at him and gave me a peck and walked down the hallway to my room.
I watched Vic drive off and stayed for a moment. I spaced out.
"Denise!" Shane shouted from my room which pulled me back to reality.
"Coming."
I close the door slowly and walk to my room.
I find him laying down on my bed, still on his phone. He puts it away when I sit in front of him.
He sits up and smiles at me.
"You look sad," he touches my chin again.
I force a grin.
"I know what'll cheer you up," he smirked and leans forward, keeping himself balanced with his hands on my bed, and kisses me.
At first I don't kiss back, but then, I do. I start to lean forward and he places his hands my arms as he laid back. He then places them on my waist and lifts me up on him, not pulling away from the kiss. He started biting my lip, but I immediately think of Jaime. How he carefully touches my skin while kissing me. Shane was doing the same.
As I continued kissing Shane, Jaime kept popping in my head. It felt like that one night we almost had at his place. The reoccurring thoughts of his upset face expression made me eye teary.
I then found myself crying as I continued to let Shane kiss my neck.
He turned to the side, and changed his position on top of me since I wasn't doing anything. I try wiping my tears away but he just continues to kiss my fiercely.

-

"Don't worry, baby, it'll all go away soon." He whispered in my ear and thrusted in hard. I just continued crying. I couldn't enjoy this, I felt so guilty for hurting Jaime. I couldn't get over it.
All the things Mike and Bekah have told me wouldn't leave my mind and it was killing me.
He pressed his forehead on my mine and looked down on me. I look up to his gray eyes and open my mouth. "I'm sorry, baby." I whimpered.
He moves my sweaty bangs to the side, behind my ear and keeps his hand there. "It's okay Denny," he tried comforting me.
"I can't do this right now." I put my hands on his arms and he stops moving.
"I'll stop." He wipes my tears away and gets off me and lays down next to me.
He pulls me towards him and hugs me as I cried. "I'm sorry." I said again.
He tangled his fingers through my hair, comforting me and I slowly stop crying.
"It's okay, baby. I'm here for you."

After I calmed down, he got up and changed. "You want me to stay here with you?" He asked.
"No, I just need to be alone right now." I said softly, "I promised Bekah I'd buy her clothes today."
"Well, it you need me, you have my number." He smiled and kissed me one last time before he left.
After a few minutes, I take a quick shower and I changed back into my clothes.
I grab my keys and head to the mall.

It made my pondering stop as I saw cute clothes everywhere. Ones I wanted Bekah to wear, since I want her to dress more....prettier.
Yeah that's the word.
I saw a beautiful top on display and I had to buy it. It was purple, gray, and black. Something Bekah would like.

Let me rephrase that, something I would like on her. I go inside the store and look for her size. I unfold it and take a look at it again.
"She's is going to look beautiful in this. It'll make Vic's jaw drop."
"Finding everything okay in here?" A blonde hair girl, in her early twenties, asked me with a smile.
I smiled back, "I think I got it here, but thank you." I smiled and she informed me about their special this weekend, which I immediately got happy and looked around the store for more clothes.
I ended up leaving with two bags full of clothes.

One bag filled with clothes for me, and the other half for Bekah. Ones that she would even wear.

I was happy. Shopping made me happy. It made all my worries go away until I get the bill for my credit cards.

I walked down the mall, looking at window displays on H&M and Forever 21, which made me want to enter their store and not want to leave.
I ended up spending about $300 today. Not a lot, but to me, it was.

I got in line at Carl's Jr. to grab something to eat. As I contemplated on what I was going to order, I heard a familiar voice talking.
One that I known for a few years now.

Vic.

My eyes pop open, and my heart rate increases. That means Jaime is here since Vic was driving earlier today.
I heard my name being mention by another familiar voice, Jaime.

He was with him and they were also in line to order.
I wanted to leave but I was curious to know what they were saying about me.
"I don't know man. I just couldn't. I really like her, but that Shane guy. You know? I don't hate him, it's just..."
"It's okay man." Vic patted his back. "I know how it feels. It hurts imagining the girl you love to be with another man."

Jaime's in love with me? Like in love with me?
My heart raced, and I kept my head turned, so they don't see me. But, I was still in ear shot to hear them.

"Every time I see them together, I just want to punch myself in the face for falling for someone who has a boyfriend already."

"They're not really in a real relationship--" Vic began.
"I know, but technically, it's an open relationship. Hear the word RELATIONSHIP? Two people having a relation together."
Vic gave him a look and I turned around when he looked my way.
Hope he didn't see me.

"Plus, she's been with him for four years. I can't compare to that. She belongs with him....but she's--"
"Stop thinking about her, Hime."
"That's the thing, I can't stop myself from thinking about her all day and everyday. Man, it sucks even more that she lives across the street." He looked up at the ceiling and his nosed flared.
"What can I get for you guys?" The cashier asked them with a friendly smile, eying them carefully, with a devious smile on her lips.
"I'll take the Big Carl Combo with Dr. pepper." Jaime said looking a the menu above her head.
"Would you like to make it large?" She flipped her bangs out of her face, and giggled like a little flirt that she is.
"No, thank you." He smiled at her and took out his money from his pocket.
"What about for you?" She smiled at Vic.
"I'll take the same." Vic smiled and pulled out his wallet from his back pocket.
"Are you guys that hungry or are you sharing with someone?" She said pushing buttons in the cash register, while looking up at the boys, smiling.
"Oh, no. We're juts hungry that's all. We're kinda seeing some people." Vic said awkwardly towards the girl and moving his hands and stressing on the words 'seeing'.
"Oh?" She forced a smile on, "That'll be 10.43, boys." She smiled again.
"Uh--" Jaime began paying with Vic and she handed back their change.
"I don't bite, don't worry." She bit her lower lip and looked up and down at Vic and Jaime.
I became filled with jealousy, mostly because she was hitting on Jaime.
"So we can just get our food over here?" Vic said and moved to the other line.

I moved closer to them, but enough that they don't see me. And began to listen again.
"We just have to give them some time. Ever since Denise went out with Shane, she couldn't seem to picture herself with someone else. She falls easily, but now seeing her and you together, it seemed like she was starting to let go of him." Vic said while patting his back again with a smile.
"But he went over to her house today!" Hime whispered lowly, scratched his head, fixed his spiky hair, and sighed.
"You don't know what could of happened. Maybe she just wanted to talk to him or something. Cheer up, man. If it's love, she'll come back to your arms. I promise." Vic said looking around the food court, I quickly positioned myself behind someone when he turned my way again. Making a weird face like he saw me.

Crap.

"Thanks." He still frowned, "So, how's the Bekah thing going?"
He looked down at his shoes, "She hasn't talked to me. I told her if she's ready to accept my apology then to come to the show in Soma."
"Is she?"
"I don't know. She's hanging out with Mike right now. He's getting his throat tattoo that he's been wanting. I guess she's getting one too."
"Oh, cool! She's getting another one, the one she showed me was sick." He said lighting up the mood.
"She has one already?"
"Yeah, dude. She has the sucba guy and an octopus fighting on her shoulder blade."
"Oh, that is cool. Did she say when she got it?"
"She and Denise got it at the same time, so, about two years ago?"
"Oh, sweet." Vic said nodded his head.

"Are you going to that one club that Casey told us about?" Jaime said grabbing their food while talking to Vic.

I heard them continue talking and they left and I stood staring the direction they disappeared into the crowd of people.

"Ma'am you're next." Someone taps my shoulder and I immediately turn around and apologize.
"What would you like?" The same girl that was taking the boys's order.
"Um, what the two boys got a few minutes ago." I said grabbing money out of my purse.
"What two boys?"
"They're both Mexican, one with spiky hair, dimples, tall. Then the short one with long hair and a nose ring." I said, staring at the girl.
"Oh, those boys." She smiled, "Were you eavesdropping on their conversation?" She said handing me my order number.
"Well, they were walking about me, so yes." I grabbed the paper a little aggravated.
"Oh." She frowns, "Your order will be in the next line." She said with attitude.
"Uh--thanks." I said moving to the next line.

I got my food and decided to drive home and eat it. I put everything in the trunk, except the food. I put it in the passenger seat.
And I drove home and pulled into the drive way with Bekah's car. I smile to myself slightly.
I grabbed everything out of my car and headed to the door and opened it.

Still no music blaring, kinda nice.
"BEEEEEKKAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" I yelled in the house to get Bekah in the living room.
"Sup." She came in smiling with a white bandage over her arm.
"I got you stuff! And I want to see your new tat! Let me see, let me see!" I said jumping towards her.
She laughed and pulled off her bandage, "Like it? I'm starting on my sleeve." She smiled with content with her new tattoo.
"I do! It's beautiful," I said turning to get the top out of the shopping bag, "So is this" I held it up in the air picturing it on her.
Her eyes got wide and grabbed it from my hands, "That's actually really pretty." She said quietly.
"YES!" I shouted, motioning my right hand yanking something down, in the air.
"I got a full bag for you." I smiled, "And I even got you a new plaid button up shirt." I rolled my eyes.
"Really?!" She smiled widely.
I frowned and just glared at her.
"What? I like flannels." She looked away and smiled again when she saw the flannel shirt I got her.
"But that's not the reason why I made you come over here. I saw Vic and Jaime at the mall and over heard them talking about me....and you....mostly me."
"WHAT!?" She stopped looking at the shirt in her hands and whipped her head towards me.
I scratched my head and look down. "I think Jaime's in love with me."
"WHAT!?" She shouted again, this time dropping the shirt back into the bag.
I was upset again. "I continue hurting Jaime when I'm around AND not around. I don't know what to do with myself anymore."
"Did you talk to Shane?"
"He came over as soon as you left."
She took a step closer to me with wide eyes. "AND!?"
"We had sex."
She slapped her own face with her hand, "Are you serious!? Close your legs, woman!"
"It wasn't that kind of sex though, I was thinking of Jaime the whole time....and crying." I made a weird face and played with my bracelets that were on my wrist. One of them being the one Shane bought me back in College.
Bekah walks up to me and places her hands on my arms and shakes me. "THAT'S BECAUSE YOU LIKE JAIME!!! Don't you miss those dates Shane would take you to when you guys first went out?"
"I remember," I replied.
"YOU MISS THEM! The Denise I know was always excited for her dates. She would change her wardrobe multiple times just so she can look pretty for him. You stopped doing that ever since Shane and you stopped being an actual couple."
I stayed quiet, listening to everything she was telling me. Every word hit me, even though she wanted me to go back to the way I was when I first met Shane. The dating and courting and everything else.
I felt slutty now.
"I believe Mike when he said Jaime's a good guy. You even saw how hurt he was. That means something. Just listen to me Dee. Jaime's the choice you want to make. I'm not forcing you, but you're happy when you're around him. Like super fucking happy. It's a smile that I've NEVER seen before, man! The same happiness you had when you were dating Shane, but better. So think about it." She grinned and patted my shoulder.
"Did you just pat my shoulder?" I asked, concerned.
"I think I did," she made a weird face, then tries to hold in a laugh.
"You're so getting back with Vic for sure." I laughed and walked to my room. She followed back.
"Right now, I don't even want to hear anything about him."
"So you don't want me to tell you what he said about you?" I asked, with a devious smile on, dropping my bag on the side of the bed.
She stayed quiet for a minute, "Okay...well maybe I do want to know what he said?"
"Nope. Sorry kid, you said you don't want to hear about him right now." I laughed quietly.
"THAT'S BEFORE YOU MENTIONED THE CONVERSATION AGAIN!" She yelled.
"I'm not telling you."

She gave me a glare and ran at me, she jumped on me.
She tackled me and we fall on my bed. "TELL ME BEFORE I SHOVE MY LAVA LAMP UP YOUR ASS!" She yelled as she began to pin me down.
"I JUST GOT MY NAILS DONE BEKAH!!!" I shouted at her, trying to push her off me but I couldn't. She pinned me down.
"Now tell me what Vic said about me or say good bye to your precious Ambercombie & Fetch shirt!" She threaten me and I caved in.
"Get off me first!"

She did and I pushed her away and run out the door, "PYSCH!" I laughed and run out the door while she chases me out the door and around our lawn.
She tackled me in the grass and I wiggle under her, then crawl away from her as she sits back up, blowing the hair out of her face.
I started running across the street without thinking, but I immediately stopped when I see Jaime and Vic outside in the porch drinking a beer.
Bekah catches up and tackles me on the grass, I hit the ground and she pins me down.
"TELL ME WHAT VIC--" She stopped when she suddenly saw Vic and Jaime watching us.
She lets go of my hands and I push her off me.
"If this shirt gets stained, I won't EVER forgive you! And my nails also!" I wipe the grass off my jeans and shirt while Bekah ignored me.
She was looking straight at Vic. I look at Vic, and he smiles at Bekah.
It looked like she couldn't breath. She was just standing there terrified.
I look back at Beks but she's already running to the house, across the lawn, and hearing the door slam shut. Leaving me alone with Jaime and Vic.

I start getting nervous and embarrassed.

I look back at Vic and he was smiling. "So that was you at the mall in line at Carl's."

Shit.

I look at Jaime and smile at softly, but then Jaime gets up and walks inside his house.
My heart sinks again, and I feel like I want to throw up. I haven't even eaten my burger yet.
"I-I have to..." I trailed off.
He laughed and walks down the steps towards me. "Beer?" He offered, but I refused.
"I don't know what you're talking about. I was home all day." I said closing my eyes and crossing my arms, denying it.
He laughs again, looking away and licking his bottom lip. "You don't have to lie. We were talking about you, until Bekah came and tackled you." He laughed holding his stomach, "Jaime just got embarrassed and left inside. He's hurting you know?"
"And Bekah's hurting also." I growled at him, reminding him about Bekah.
His smile went away. "I know." He said softly.
"Sorry, I just...Jaime and...ugh." I sighed, rolling my eyes back. "I'm such a jerk."
"Welcome to my club." He pats my back and I couldn't help but laugh.
"What?" He asked.
"It's just that," I patted his shoulder. "You seem to do that a lot when you comfort people." I smiled at him.
He returned it, "Do I really?"
"Yes."
"I'm sorry."
I patted his back, "It's all good." I laughed afterwards.
"How is she doing?" He took a sip of his beer, looking at our house.
"Hanging in there. No drinking. No loud music. She's progressing, you could say." I grinned, "Maybe.", and looked back at Jaime's house. "How's Hime?"
"Uh," He paused, looking back at the house and rubbing his neck. "Not progressing?" He chuckled.
I frowned. "I know I know...you hate me also."
"I don't hate you."
"But you're disappointed me."
He paused and then parted his lips, "That's not the Denise I went to high school with. You were always the committed girl who goes goo-goo gaga over boys and corny serious relationships." He puts his hands in the air while moving his fingers.
I looked down at my Toms, knowing what he said was right. "I know." I said briefly.
"Hang in there, man." He stopped himself from patting my back and we both let out a laugh.
"I better get going. Jaime probably wants you to go inside with him." I pressed my lips together and crossed my legs. I don't why, but I did.
"Yeah, Bekah probably wants you back inside." He stepped forward and hugged me. "Tell her I love her." He said as we pulled away.
"Will do, shorty." I smile and start walking away.
"Den." He said and I turn back.
"Yesh?"
"Remember the day you told me that Shane asked you on a date? And you got all excited because--"
"You really liked him."
"I really liked him."
We said simultaneous.
I smiled.
"Jaime feels that way about you." He started walking up the steps of Jaime's house.
"Hey, Vic." I said with a smile.
"Yeah?" He said putting his hand on the door knob.
"Bekah told me that you and her kissed." I said chuckling.
He laughed nervously, and looked away, licked his lips, "Bye, Den." He opened the door and walked inside.

My smile went to a frown when he left inside.
I walked back to my house thinking back on that day.
Man, I need to make a decision already.

I opened the door and find Bekah by the living room window with her peaking through the curtains, "Bekah." I say with a laugh, and it startles her.
"What?! What!? I was looking at you guys through a window." She put her hand behind her neck, and looked at me, "Shut up!"
I laughed and went to the coffee table, and shoved the bags of clothes I got for her, "Go try these on."
She makes a face, "You suck." She said walking to her room, to change.
"You love me!" I shouted following behind her.

And I start to think about this choice, what's wrong. What's right.