In Transit

“Here,” Cheryl thrust a moving box into his hands, a bit too harshly.

Kennedy wasn’t really sure about what was happening. He had awoken to the incessant ringing of his doorbell, now he was standing at his front door and he was certain Cheryl was trying to murder him with her eyes.

“Uhm, what are these?” he asked her.

“It’s a box,” Cheryl said stating the obvious, “with your name on it.”

“W-what?” Kennedy asked again, and he could feel her start to get impatient with him.

“I found it in Peyton’s apartment,” she shrugged, “you know how airy she is, always leaving her stuff behind. Well, she kinda left everything before she moved to Seattle, and I found this so I guess it’s your stuff or something.”

“Oh, alright,” he said still unsure of everything, really.

“Well, I’ll be off then!” she looked relieved that this was finally over.

“Goodbye.”

Kennedy walked back into his apartment, and set the large box down on his living room table. He examined the box and saw that it indeed had his name on it, written out neatly in Peyton’s handwriting, although he’d never seen the thing in his life.

He carefully opened the box, and saw that it was littered with his things, things that he’d given to her over the years. Every single shirt he’d given her was there, all the mix tapes that they’d exchanged perforated the mess, all they were, were in that cardboard box. He couldn’t help but feel a pang of hurt infiltrate his chest. He couldn’t blame her though.

Kennedy continued searching through the box, and stumbled upon something foreign. Something that wasn’t his, or hers, at least he didn’t know it was hers. They were piles of cassette tapes and all were labeled with various dates. Curiosity surged through him and he quickly found the earliest date and searched his apartment for a cassette player.

Tape # 1

“What were you doing at 10:06 in the evening on the 1st of February?” Kennedy heard her soft voice fill the room, and he felt like someone punched him in the gut.

We were walking down my front lawn, and he looked at me like I’d grown a third eye, I didn’t see the problem though, it was a fair question. You see, I’m what people call a hopeful, you know those wide-eyed, ditzy types who didn’t know better, and I was a firm believer in fate.

“W-what?” he looked at me, incredulous.

“Uhm, what were you doing… at that time?” I tried again, still not understanding why he was starting to look cross.

“I don’t understand how any of—“ he paused trying to formulate his words as his throat was starting to get dry and his eyebrows furrowed. “This! What was I doing on that evening, or if I preferred chili flakes or the sauce, or if you think Ross was right to do that thing, or any other weird shit you’re in to matters!” he waved his hands around in exasperation and finally stopped to heave in a breath.

“I—“ I was in frozen in my spot. I didn’t know what to say. I was never good at altercations, if this was one, or confrontations and all that.

“Listen, Peyton,” he sighed, “you seem like a nice girl and all but I don’t—I don’t see how we’re going to work. I’m sorry.”

“I—I’m sorry too,” I felt the tears start to prick that back of my eyes, not now god damnit, I tried to force out a smile, I was pretty bad at faking though so it came out really horrible. “It’s all good, I—I guess I’ll see you around. Bye!”

I turned away from him quickly, and sprinted for the door.

I never understood how I was always bad at everything but my tear ducts did their job so well.

“Christ, Peyton,” I feverishly wiped at my eyes. It didn’t help at all though, the tears still poured out quickly. The rejection stung down through my throat and made a home in my veins.

I hauled myself away from my spot and made my way to my bed, prepared to drown myself in my sheets and null the world away.

This happened every time.

Until there was you.

--

“You should have let me have a whack at him.”

“I told you, Moose, I’m fine. It’s not like it’s his fault that I’m weird” I told him for the nth time and pushed away from my locker. “You don’t have to fight my battles for me.”

Your cousin was very much like you, though, always trying to fight my battles for me, always full of teenage heat, insisting that I shouldn’t have to do this or that.

“Doesn’t mean you have to deal with asshole punks alone,” he said, undeterred.

“Drop it,” I insisted, again.

Suddenly the halls were louder than usually, buzzing and murmuring. I couldn’t help but feel self-conscious, but why should I? It’s not like I’ll ever be the topic of hallway gossip.

“Kennedy!” I heard Moose’s deep voice travel through the air. I whipped around half out of curiosity and half out of instinctive fear because who wouldn’t be scared of Moose’s voice.

I watched as Moose gave you that weird little manhug, because you know normal hugs don’t do for men.

Right then and there, I realized why the halls suddenly got a bit louder. You stood there in your Third Eye Blind shirt and those ugly jeans that you insisted made you look good, and somehow in your horrendous get up you had my world spinning. I noticed how your back curved a bit, heavy from carrying the world on your shoulders, or your tall stature, whichever works. When you smiled your eyes crinkled a bit, and god damn I was fucked. Your eyes were sage on fresh oak, the stars that illuminated the dark night, the sunset that kissed the end of the earth, I could be getting carried away or something, and suddenly they were on mine. I freaked out and made a fool of myself obviously.

“Hey… Moose’s friend?” you sent a small wave in my direction.

I couldn’t react. I was frozen in my spot, and I was convinced I was going to disintegrate from embarrassment.

“Don’t mind Peyton, she’s just shy,” Moose filled in for me.

“Hey,” I tried smile at you, but I wasn’t very good at faking remember? I know you saw that I was a bit uncomfortable.

“Kennedy, this is Peyton,” he motioned between the two of us, “Peyton, this is Kennedy, my cousin. He just moved here from Scottsdale.”

“Hi,” I waved, “sorry, I’m not very good at making conversations.”

“Nah, it’s all good,” you smiled at me reassuringly. I’m not sure if I was hallucinating or not, but I’m pretty sure that smile lingered for a bit longer than it should have.