Let's Take Over the World

Chapter 7

Eighteen months on, everything was great. Well, when I say everything, I mean, the guys and I moved to America, recorded an album and were currently on our first ever tour. The first song we wrote together was our first single, and with every show we played, we had more kids coming. Mine and Danny's parents had bought us an RV. It wasn't great and we were improvising a bed since the thing only slept four, but we were saving up to buy a proper tour bus so we'd all have a place to sleep.
With Danny, however, things were not so peachy.
We'd kind of gone back to how it was, and none of the guys could tell any difference, but I could see he was on a downward spiral. He'd gone from drinking when we went out to getting shit faced on an almost daily basis. He no longer had the occasional spliff; he was doing weed probably every day, with a cocktail of other drugs. I watched as he grew tangled with cocaine. He'd get completely off his face and bring back sluts and whores to the RV. I'd never admit it to anyone, but every time he did, my heart broke just a little.
I was probably no better. I drank nearly as much as he did, I'd tried most drugs, but I wasn't balancing on the shaky precipice that was addiction in the way he was. I brought back girls, mostly because I couldn't bear to be alone. I had a girlfriend, Sam, but she was more like something to pass the time. I loved her as a friend, and nothing more. She knew this; she knew about Danny, and stuck around as kind of moral support.
“Would you keep the fucking noise down?” I yelled. I was sat in the front of the RV with our driver, trying to ignore the sounds of Danny banging his latest “catch”. She was nothing more than a groupie slut, in my opinion. I cradled a bottle of whiskey to my chest as I leaned out the window with my cigarette, trying not to show how it hurt to hear him with her. The rest of the guys had passed out and I knew that it wouldn't be long until he was asleep too and she left.
They didn't take long to finish. Danny came out, his eyes dilated, coated in sweat, wearing nothing but boxers and showed her to the door.
“I'm sorry, Benny. Were we disturbing you?” I didn't answer. I flicked my cigarette out of the window and stood up.
“I'm going to bed.” I pushed past him and climbed into the small bed I had claimed for myself. I sat and checked my phone; I had one message. It was from Emma. She was one of the only people I had kept contact with from home.
How are you holding up? It read.
I'm dealing. I sent back, before turning off my phone and going to sleep.
The next day was our day off. It was well needed. We had been touring now for a little over a month, playing a show every night. I just hoped to God that Danny could stay sober for a change. When he was sober it was like it used to be: laughing and joking around, saying inappropriate things because it was funny. Those moments gradually became less and less often.
A couple of weeks after that day, I had tried to tell him how I felt, that I understood it now, but he told me he didn't feel the same; he claims to have been high that day and he wasn't thinking straight. And maybe he had been; I wasn't one to say. All I knew is that, whenever he was intoxicated, he loved me and he wanted to kiss me, and when I told him no, he'd go find a hooker or a groupie to fuck. And it hurt when he woke up the next morning when he ignored me.
I sat in the lounge area eating pizza the next morning when Danny bounced in. He flopped down next to me and took a slice out of the box.
“You're awfully chipper this morning.” I said.
“That's because it's a beautiful morning, Benny.” he grinned and turned to face me properly. His eyes were bright and dilated.
“Really?” I challenged. “It's fucking eleven thirty in the morning.”
“There is no such thing as too early, Ben. Or too much.” he'd only taken one bite of the pizza before putting it back in the box and jumping up to search the cupboards. He found a bottle of Jack and started sipping it instantly. The RV was stopped in WalMart car park, so I put on some clothes and left. I hoped that he ran out soon, since he would most likely not be able to get a hold of anymore alcohol without me there unless he went to find someone outside. And, really, who would buy a drunk, high, nineteen year old boy more alcohol? Cock heads, that's who. I hoped there was none hanging around. The driver was only nineteen so I didn't need to worry about him.
I went inside to buy some smokes and sat on the wall surrounding the car park, head down, chain smoking. I had so wanted this to be a nice, normal day, one where I could just hang out with my best friend, talk about useless shit and have a nice time. But no, he was high already and drinking and he was going to do the usual: try to get with me but instead fuck some blonde bitch.
I heard footsteps moving towards me and looked up. I saw Danny, one hand in his pocket, smoking. He had on his blacked-out wrap-around RayBans; he'd reached the comedown already. Beneath the glasses I could see dark circles. He had left the whiskey at the RV, and I thought that he'd come to ask me to buy some more. I took a long drag on my cigarette and let my head drop back down.
“Are you mad at me?” he sounded like a small child.
“No, it's just...” I struggled for words. “I—I just hate seeing you like this.”
“Like what?” he seemed genuinely confused.
“Look at yourself, Dan. You're a fucking mess.” I ran a hand through my hair. “Good morning coke is it now?”
“I'm sorry.” he whispered. “I just wanted it to all go back to normal, and it never did, so I guess I made my own little world, and I've been living there for that past year.”
“I know what you mean. I just wanted so bad for today to be a normal day, no booze, no drugs, just a good time. Just the two of us.” I whispered the last part, but he heard. He sat next to me and leaned his head against my shoulder.
“It still can be.” he laced his fingers through mine. “What do you say we catch a movie and stuff out faces?” he leaned his chin on my shoulder and I turned to look at him.
“Really?”
“Yes. That's what we used to do. You want it to be like it used to be. Let's do it.” he stood up and pulled me with him. I took the sunglasses off him and watched his eyes. They seemed normal. He wasn't drunk; he wasn't high.
“Okay.”
We walked around for a while, not really paying attention to where we were going, getting ourselves lost, trying to find a pizza place or some other takeaway to get food. We eventually stumbled upon a Chinese takeaway and decided it was probably the best we could get. It wasn't until we walked in that Danny realised that all he'd eaten that day was one bite of pizza. I heard his stomach rumble. As he smelled the food.
We ordered the food and went to find a 7-11 or somewhere we could buy popcorn and fizzy drinks, this time paying attention to where we were. We got them and went back to the Chinese place to get our food and asked a random passer-by the way to WalMart. We made our way back, laughing at random comments we both made about other people and the looks people shot us when we were laughing so hard we'd stumbled.
When we arrived back at the bus it was nearly two o'clock and the others were getting up. They looked at us like we were crazy as we plonked down on the sofa, our hands arms full.
“Movie day!” we yelled. I looked through our collection and picked out a film as Danny found his food. I put it in and sat next to Danny, searching for my own food.
“Nemo?” Cameron raised his eyebrows in a questioning manner. “Are you guys completely off your face?”
“Nope. Completely sober.” Danny said, surprising Cam.
“Do you have a problem with Nemo?” I asked.
“Not really, it's just—”
“Get the fuck over it or get the fuck out. I did buy you food, but if you're gonna bitch about Nemo...well, then, I suppose we'll have to get rid of it somehow.”
“I'll eat it.” Danny offered around a mouthful of chicken.
“Danny will eat it.” I said as Sam complained, “Do you really have to do that?”
“Anyone else want their food or are you all gonna bitch and complain about Nemo?”
“Nope, no it's fine. I love Nemo.” James stated as he climbed out of his bed. He walked over with a smile. Sam and Cameron agreed with him and I gave them their food and put the popcorn in a massive bowl for us to share. I left the Pepsi and the Tango cans on the floor; there was really no need for glasses.
We had a good afternoon. For the first time in more than a year, all five of us sat, completely sober, and just had a nice time. After Nemo, we put on Wall-E and then Shrek. Yes, that's right: the five most notorious names on the scene right now watched kiddie films for a full afternoon. Whilst sober.
Mostly.
About halfway through Shrek, I noticed Danny's hands start to shake. He started fidgeting. I looked at him; his eyes were glassy and his face was coated by a sheen of sweat. He looked at me and met my eyes. He looked panicked, almost pleading me with his eyes and I nodded. He got up and found the clear plastic bag filled with a white powder before going to the bathroom.

Danny's POV

I nearly ran to the bathroom. Until now, I hadn't considered myself an addict. I'd told myself so many times that I could give up whenever I wanted, that I was doing it because I wanted to, but there was always a part of me that believed otherwise. I'd tried to stay strong; I'd tried to fight it, but as soon as he nodded, as soon as he gave permission, I couldn't resist the urge any longer.
As I sat there on the floor, the bag of white powder in my hands, I laid out five lines and rolled up a twenty dollar bill. I felt so ashamed. I didn't want to go back in there and sit with Ben. He'd admitted earlier how much it hurt him when I did this. I took them quickly and it hit me harder than it ever had done before. It felt incredible for ten seconds and then I went totally numb.
Everything went black.

Ben's POV

Danny had been gone for a long time now. Usually it only took him a minute or two and then he was back, bouncing around. I got up and walked to the bathroom. I knocked on the door tentatively.
“Danny?” I knocked. there was no answer. “Danny are you alright?” I tried opening the door; it was locked. I started to panic. “Danny!” I banged on the door.
“Ben, what's wrong?” James said from his spot on the floor. He paused the film.
“He's been in there for more than ten minutes. And he won't open the door, or answer me.” he stood up and joined me by the door.
“Danny.” he knocked on the door. “Danny if you don't answer we'll break the door down.” we waited for what felt like an eternity. Sam and Cameron stood up, too.
“Danny?” I said again. No answer. James took two steps back and threw himself into the door with all the strength he could muster. After a couple of blows, the lock snapped and I forced the door open as far as it would go with Danny behind it. As soon as I saw him, my heart shattered. There was cocaine spilled on the floor beside him and he was passed out, a rolled up bill in his nose. His skin was clammy; his breathing rapid.
“Shit!” I muttered. Tears started rolling down my cheeks. I held his face. “Danny! Danny, wake up!” I tried to pull him into a position where I could get him out of the tiny bathroom. I guess my pulling and shifting him around must have brought him round a little because his eyes half opened and he gazed at me.
“Ben?” he slurred. The other guys opened the door and helped me pull him out. “Ben!”
“Danny. I'm here.” we'd moved him so he was kind of sat against a wall. He reached out to me. I saw tears fall from his own eyes as he brought my face to his. I leaned my forehead against his and clung to him for dear life as he held onto me the same way.
“I love you.” he was barely there anymore, but I knew he meant it.
“I love you too,” I whispered. I kissed him for what we both thought was the last time; it was frantic and urgent and it was over in little more than a second. “Forever.” and then he passed out. I cradled his head to my chest, sobbing into his hair.
“We've called the ambulance. They'll be here any moment now.” I noticed that the others had left to give us our moment alone. They'd also changed out of their pyjamas. I nodded, still cradling Danny. I heard sirens getting closer and James let some people onto the bus. They pried me away from him and carted him off the RV and into the ambulance. Cameron told me to go with him; they'd called a taxi which wouldn't be there for about an hour.
I jumped onto the ambulance at the last moment as they drove away. I stood back as the EMT's fussed around Danny, asking me questions.
“What has he taken?” they demanded.
“C-cocaine.”
“How long has he been like this?”
“I—I don't know.” I stumbled over my words. “He went to the bathroom a-and after ten minutes or so, I—I went to check i-if he was alright a-a-and h-he wouldn't answer the door s-so we—we broke it down and—and—and he was—he was like that.” I said through the tears. I could barely speak for hiccuping. The EMT nodded and turned to help his partner. They were putting needles in his arm and forcing things down his throat. It was horrible to watch, but I knew it was his only chance. I wrapped my arms around myself and cried.