If Love Is The Answer, Could You Repeat The Question?

The curiosity of how he was going to make it up to you burned for the rest of the night. It was something you were almost desperate to know because it’s not like he could get away with doing much, so anything involving the removal of clothes was automatically dashed.

You sat on the couch in the front lounge, clutching a beer while Jack and Alex loudly played video games in the back lounge and Rian and Zack had gone to bed early. How they slept with Alex yelling fuck every thirty seconds was beyond you, but I guess when you put up with it for the better part of your life, you get used to it.

Since it wasn't you who was trying to sleep, you found their endless banter extremely amusing. Alex was clearly getting his ass kicked by Jack but refused to accept it and was yelling obscenities it distract Jack so he could at least catch up.

You turn your attention from them to Vinny and him who are sitting across from you, talking about something you weren’t all that interested in.

“You always get really quiet at night.” Vinny says.

“It just happens when I get tired,” You answer, yawning to prove your point.

“Why don’t you do to bed then?” He asks.

“You actually think I’ll be able to sleep with that?” You ask, glancing over at the back lounge. Just as you spoke Alex started to yell again, claiming his controller wasn’t working.

“Do you think if I beat him with the controller, it will start working?” You joke.

“I heard that” Alex calls back to you.

“You heard nothing.” You yell back. The three of you chuckle before you take a sip of beer. “Is there anything stronger on this damn bus?” You jump up from your spot on the couch and open the fridge. It’s loaded with Monster’s, beer and water.

“Try the drawers.” Vinny says and you turn to the drawers next to the fridge. The first one you open is filled with whiskey and you really don’t feel like whiskey. The second drawer you hit gold.

“Mmm, Patron, the good tequila,” You grin, taking it to the counter and looking for shot glasses.

“What happened to being tired?” He asks.

“Well I mean if I drink enough this will knock me out faster than trying to fall asleep on my own.”

You finally find the shot glasses and grab three.

“Why are you getting three shot glasses?” Vinny asks.

“You expect me to drink this alone?” You raise an eyebrow.

“You expect us to drink it with you?” He shoots back and you smile, pouring the shots.

“Looks like you don’t have much of a choice.” You grin again, handing them a shot glass each, “Just one or two. C’mon.”

You take a seat on the opposite side of him and flash a smile you know he can’t say no to.

“Alright fine, one or two,” He agrees.

“Good boy,” You pat his head before you all take the shot.

One or two quickly turned into fix or six and then seven and the bus was now spinning around you as you fell back onto the couch after pouring the eighth shots for the three of you. Somewhere between shot five and six his shirt disappeared and after that so did yours so now you’re half laying on him half sitting, in a bra and a pair of blue GET LOW shorts you stole from merch. Alex and Jack were still going at it in the back lounge, the yelling only increasing, completely oblivious to the three drunk people in the front lounge.

“You know what sounds great right now?” You slur after downing the shot.

“Making out?” He asks and yeah that sounds really good too.

“That, but doing body shots sound great,” You suggest.

“No limes, no salt” Vinny points out.

“Kill joy,” You huff and stick your tongue out at him.

“Hey don’t get huffy with me, blame your boyfriend, he’s the one who didn’t get the things we needed.”

Had you been sober you probably would have freaked out about him saying that but instead you laugh a little too loud.

“Not my boyfriend.” You giggle. “I wish.”

You look over at him for a response but all he does is break out into a huge smile.

“More shots!” You declare abruptly, getting up and almost falling right back down from the wave of dizziness that washes over you. You giggle again and stumble over to the counter to pour one last shot for each of you, and there’s just enough left in the bottle.

You concentrate really hard on walking back to the couch so you don’t spill any because that’s a waste of good alcohol. You hand them the glass and don’t even bother sitting down before throwing the shot back.

You place the empty glass on the counter before deciding that the couch isn’t a suitable place to sit anymore. Instead you climb into his lap and straddle his waist.

“Hi,” You grin.

“Hi,” He grins back and the alcohol has definitely loosened him up because there’s not a single hint of panic or worry about you straddling him in front of Vinny. “Can we make out now?”

Before you can respond his lips are on yours and it’s sloppy and rushed and you both taste like alcohol but it still manages to give you butterflies. You hear Vinny groan loudly beside you and you pull away.

“Aw is Vinny sad because he’s not getting any?” You tease and crawl out of his lap over to Vinny. “Here let me give you some love too.”

You kiss him loudly on the cheek and giggle again as you go back to straddling him.

“Alright if you two are going to swap spit then I’m going to bed.” Vinny said getting up and stumbling a little bit.

“Go sext your girlfriend.” You call as he leaves the front lounge. You turn your attention back to the man you’re currently sitting on and smile before biting his lip ring as he slipped his tongue into your mouth. It’s still too sloppy and there’s way too much tongue but you can’t really expect much from drunk make outs anyway. You’re too focused on his hands exploring your bare skin and leaving Goosebumps behind. He breaks away from your lips and trails wet kisses down your neck and chest. You push your body against his, closing the small space between you.

-x-

You’re not really sure when you fell asleep, or when you even stopped making out with him but you wake up still on the couch, a sour taste in your mouth and his head on your stomach. Your head isn’t pounding yet but you also haven’t sat up either. But your body is screaming at you to move and your leg had gone numb from his added weight so you lift his head off your stomach and try to roll of the couch. You’re not very gentle but he needed to wake up too. The bus was silent, signalling that no one else was awake yet.

You finally manage to get yourself out from underneath him and off the couch and that’s when your hangover kicks in. You get up and hobble over to the counter, grabbing the Advil and filling two glasses of water. Before you go back to the still sleeping body on the couch you rinse your mouth of the disgusting taste. You kneel in front of the couch and bring you face close to his.

“Wake up,” You whisper, shaking him slightly but with no response. You shake him a little harder, “Babe, wake up.” You cringe at the slip up of calling him babe and silently hope he didn’t hear that. You shake him again but it’s like he’s dead to the world and you sigh, leaning in and kissing him softly, hoping that will wake him up. You relax, not knowing that you had been tense, when he kisses back before opening his eyes and lifts his head.

“’Morning,” He half smiles before it disappears and he puts his head back down, groaning, “My head is going to explode.” You hand him the two small pills in your hand and the glass of water and he smiles again after swallowing them, “Thanks.”

“No problem.” You say as he rolls over. That’s when you notice his pants are undone and hanging dangerously low on his hips, “Uh, did I give you head last night?” It would explain the taste in your mouth when you woke up but you don’t want to jump to conclusions.

He looks down and pulls them up quickly, buttoning them while his eyebrows furrow together. “I don’t remember.”

“What do you remember?” You ask.

“Just a lot of shots and making out,” He answers, finally sitting up.

“That’s basically what I remember too so.”

He just shrugs and runs a hand through his messy hair. You were slightly disappointed that if you had gone down on him, you weren’t able to remember.

“Now what?”

“Now I make up yesterday to you,” He says, getting up off the couch and helping you up off the floor.

“Sex?”

“No.”

“Then what?”

“The sooner you stop asking questions and get ready, the sooner you’ll find out.” He smiles and you turn and head into the bathroom to shower.

An hour later both of you were showered, dressed and ready to go. Before you leaving he left a note for the rest of the guys telling them to enjoy their day off while trying not to get into too much trouble. You get into the taxi he called with him. You were expecting to find out where you were going when he had to tell the driver but instead the driver started driving without any need for direction.

You had no idea what city you were in so nothing looked familiar, not that it would be any more familiar had you known where you were. It was a good half an hour drive and near the end you had completely left the city limits.

“Where are we going?” You ask for the millionth time. You gave him credit for being able to put up with you constantly asking and still not telling.

Finally the car stopped and you almost jumped out just to see where you were. You felt your face light up when you realized you were standing in front of a huge amusement park.

“Is this okay?” He asked coming up behind you after paying the taxi driver.

“This is fucking great!” You almost yelled, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the gate. You fucking loved amusement parks and he bringing you here completely made up for yesterday.

Once you were through the gates you were so overwhelmed you didn’t know where to start first. You finally decided on one of the many roller coasters and dragged him into line. Any signs of a hangover or tiredness you had left were completely gone and you were wide awake.

For the better part of the day, you dragged him around from ride to ride. You stopped once to get food since you hadn’t eaten the previous night and if you didn’t eat you were going to pass out and that would have been a totally kill joy.

Soon enough the sun started to set and there was only one ride left that you had been avoiding all day. The Farris Wheel loomed in front of you as he took your hand and pulled you into the line. You thought about protesting because you were terrified of them for no real reason other than they just scared you, but you had also dragged him around all day so fair was fair.

“Have I mentioned how much I hate this ride?” You said casually as you got to the front of the line.

“I’ll be right there with you, there’s nothing to worry about.” He kissed your cheek and it eased some of your tension, but it all came back as you got into the seat and the metal bar came down. He pulled you as closely as he could and put his arm around you as the ride start to lift you off the ground.

Around and around the ride went and you slowly got more comfortable with it, except when the seats rocked because that was the scariest part. The ride slowed down and just as you got to the top it came to a complete stop.

From where you were you could see the outline of the city against the fiery orange and redness of the setting sun. The skyline looked like it was ablaze, casting long shadows in front of it, the light reflecting off the windows making it sparkle. It was beautiful.

“This is really cliché,” You chuckle at how this was like a scene straight from a cheesy chick flick that you spent more time laughing at than watching.

He turned to look at you, his dark eyes catching the reflection of the sunset, “Let’s make it a little more cliché.”

When his lips connected with yours it suddenly felt like you were free falling from the top of a building, plunging to the ground as fast as gravity would pull you. It was the most exhilarating feeling, because there was something different about this kiss. It was more passionate, tender and loving. It was soft, slow and filled with so much emotion, it lit your body on fire and every nerve inside you was on edge. The spots that his fingertips brushed gently tingled while your head spun in circles like you were still on one of the more thrilling rides

The Farris Wheel jerked and started spinning again, causing you to jump and pull away from him. You couldn’t do anything but smile up at him, because whoa, that was one hell of a kiss and he returned the smile, placing a quick kiss on your cheek, making it tingle before you had to get off the ride. He immediately took your hand once you were off and led you to the exit where another taxi was waiting.

“Thank you,” You said quietly once you were on your way back to the bus. You were leaning against him, tracing small patterns on his leg with your fingers. “Today was amazing.”

“You’re welcome.” He kissed the top of your head and you fell into a blissful silence.

When you got back to the bus you found Alex stretched out across the couch while Jack and Rian took up the seats at the table. Zack and Vinny were nowhere in sight.

You consider arguing with Alex for him to move his feet but it was be a waste of effort because he always wins arguments. You opt to sit next to him across from Alex who’s grinning like the Cheshire cat.

“What are you smiling at?” You finally ask after a good five minutes of his unwavering smile.

“Nothing, just next time you guys decide to make out, be a little quieter.” He laughs.

“They made out?” Rian asks turning his attention to the two of you sitting on the couch and you could feel your face burning.

“Yes they were all over each other when I came out here to get a drink last night.” Alex told him.

“Woo get some!” Jack yelled.

“Does this mean you’re like together since you also went on a date?”

“It wasn’t a date.” He was quick to jump on that one. “It was nothing close to a date.”

You could actually feel your heart crack a little as those words left his mouth. You knew it wasn’t actually a date deep down but the kiss on the top of the Farris Wheel and holding hands all day said something else.

“Yeah but you still made out.” Alex says in a teasing voice, a shit eating grin on his face. You had no idea why this was so amusing to him but you were begging and pleading for him to stop.

You feel him shrug next to you, “It was just a drunk make out session. It didn’t mean anything.”

It took everything in your control not to let your jaw drop to the ground with your stomach. You tried to convince yourself he really didn’t say that but it kept echoing in your mind like you were stuck in a long dark tunnel. You mind was spinning in the most unpleasant way but somehow you managed to keep a smile plastered in your face and not show a single thing you felt.

Alex shrugged from across the bus, “Fair enough. But you should get her a little bit more drunk next time so you can finally get laid.”

Everyone on the bus laughed as he shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips and you felt like slapping it off of him.

You weren’t even sure why you were so mad at him for saying it but it hurt a lot to see him be able to shrug it and you off so easily because he didn’t want his friends to know. It was crystal clear that he had no intentions of telling them because he just had an open window to come clean and basically lied to them. You felt like nothing but a little toy for him, his personal whore for when he was horny and looking to get off.

Maybe that was an over exaggeration but that’s how you felt and it was starting to sink in that you were never going to mean anything more to him than a casual fuck.

All you wanted to do now was curl into a ball and cry because you hated this situation right now and all you wanted was for him to be honest. But instead of breaking down, you remained on the couch, smiling and laughing at appropriate times, trying to ignore him sitting so close his arm and leg kept brushing yours. You tried so hard to ignore the sparks and tingles the contact left but it was something that was a little bit hard to do.

Finally after what felt like hours everyone trailed off to bed to recharge for another energetic show and it was just you and him left in the front lounge. You stood up and immediately busied yourself with cleaning up the cups that littered the table and counters. You were too caught up in what you were doing to notice him come up behind you and wrap his arms around you. You turned around and he leaned into kiss you, but you turned your head so he went for your neck. You almost let him but the part of you that still stung with hurt took over and you pushed his head away.

“Stop,” You say firmly.

“What?” He looks down at you confused. This was probably the first time ever you made him stop before he even got started. He went to kiss you again and you pushed him away.

“Don’t.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t tell me nothing’s wrong when there is clearly something wrong.” He said softly.

You shook your head and pulled his hands off you. “Just don’t.”

He doesn’t push any further as you finish cleaning up. You don’t bother saying another word to him before you walk to your bunk and climb into it. The Mickey doll and note still in its place from the other note. You crumple the note, tossing it to the end of the bed. You consider keeping the doll because it still smells like him but you’re too angry and want nothing to do with him, or any of his possessions so you open your curtain and gently toss the doll into his bunk before rolling over.

You don’t want to be alone in bed but you don’t want to be around him and you can hear him sigh loudly down the short hall and it was one of those “what did I do now” kind of sighs which increases your rage tenfold because if he really doesn’t know what he did to upset you then wow. And it’s not like you’re going to tell him because he’ll just make more promises he’ll never follow through on and kiss you and think things are fixed. It hurts you to think that maybe he doesn’t really care about you and all the nice things he does for you are just way to get you to hook up with him.

It takes you a few minutes to notice the small tear roll down your cheek. You brush it away like it’s on fire and refuse to let anymore fall because no matter how hurt and upset you are you refuse to cry over something that’s really stupid to be crying over.

So it’s like this: You refuse to be a dirty little secret anymore.