If Love Is The Answer, Could You Repeat The Question?

So it’s like this: You wake up on the morning of your birthday to hushed whispering and shuffling feet.

You consider staying in bed and hiding all day long because you really don’t feel like partying with a still broken heart but your curiosity wins and you roll out to see him and Alex standing in the front lounge whispering. And this weird because you’ve never seen Alex up before noon and he’s fully dressed and alert and it’s only 9:30.

Their conversation is immediately cut off when he looks up at you standing in the doorway in shorts with your hair all over the place and suddenly you feel really self-conscience. He smiles at you and he’s been smiling a lot in the past two days and hasn’t put his phone down at all so you’re pretty sure he’s definitely talking to someone new.

Before the short silence in the room can turn awkward, Alex scoops you into a huge hug, picking you up off the ground and spinning around, “Happy birthday!” He says, kissing the side of your head as he puts you down.

“Thanks,” You smile and turn to him as he opens his arms for a hug too. You almost denied it because to you it was a little too soon to be acting like friends again. You were stiff as you stepped into his arms and wrap yours around his neck. His fresh and clean scent filled your nose and you almost completely relaxed. You really fucking missed this and this was the first time you made any physical contact with him besides the night of his drunken endeavour since you broke up. You were dying to pull him into a kiss when he let you go, the hug lasting longer than just a friendly hug should but you didn’t want to risk it if he really was moving on with someone else.

He and Alex shared a look before he abruptly left the bus, leaving you confused and wishing things had been drastically different than they were.

“Where’s he going?” You ask casually, knowing that it wasn’t to set up since today was your day off in New York.

“Not a clue.” Alex shrugs but you don’t really believe him because he has that look in his eye that you can’t quite read but it’s tell you he knows more than he’s sharing. But maybe it’s better he not tell you because you don’t want to have the day ruined by finding out he’s going to see his new girlfriend on your birthday.

You flop down on the couch and look up at Alex who is now typing something out on his phone. “So what’re we going to do today?”

“Whatever you want to princess, today’s your day for the most part.”

“The most part?” You raise an eyebrow.

“You’ll see later.”

Your curiosity peaked but he refused to say anything else on the topic after that.

You didn’t see him for the rest of the day. You and Alex spent the rest of the morning watching movies and talking after you showered and did your hair and makeup at Alex’s strange request until the rest of the bus woke up and the rest of the crew came to the band bus too. It was a really good time of drinking and eating and laughing so hard you thought you were going to throw up at one point. It was something you really needed to take your mind off of everything that had happened recently, but still in the back of your mind you wondered what he was off doing instead of being here. It’s not like he had a moral obligation to be there for your birthday, but you still longed to at least have him in the room, watching quietly from across the bus.

Sooner or later it was time for you to open presents that you had specifically reminded them not to get you but apparently no one likes to listen to you. It was mainly C.Ds and band shirts and some really pretty bracelets from Jack. You went around the group of guys, opening poorly wrapped presents and hugging them because they were all just such great people.

“There’s one more thing I have to give to you.” Alex declares, walking over to you when you were done. Danny, Jack and Vinny had disappeared off the bus but you had barely noticed until now. He hands you a plain envelope with your name printed in extremely familiar hand writing.

“What’s this?” You ask, taking it from him.

“Just open it.” He insists.

You slowly open the envelope, your heart racing and head spinning as you pull out the small piece of paper inside. It definitely wasn’t what you were expecting as you read the address written out on it.

“What am I supposed to do with this?” You ask, looking up at Alex.

“Go to it.” He answers.

“Does it look like I know the streets of New York?”

“No, but I do.” He smiles, grabbing your arm and leading you off the bus. You have no idea what’s going on and you really hate surprises. Alex leads you down a maze of unfamiliar streets, turning here and there until you come to the corner where Danny is leaning casually against the post with the same address on it as the card that was still in your hand.

“Danny’s my present?” You joke and they both grin before he hands you a single red rose and another envelope.

You couldn’t help but to smile at the flower as you open the envelope with yet another address inside. You were starting to catch on to this as Alex led you through the streets of New York. A few blocks later you find yourself standing in front of Jack who’s grinning like an idiot.

He hands you a box, taking the rose and envelopes from you as you open it to find a pair of black, strappy high heels and another rose.

“What?” You look up and Jack and Alex. Any idea of what you thought this was got thrown out the window. They say nothing as Alex takes the box from you and Jack hands you another envelope. You read the address and almost want to start running to see what the next thing is but Alex wouldn’t let you. He kept the same pace as before and you wanted to kick him in the shins to make him go faster.

“What is this all for?” You pester him as you walk. This destination seems to be a hell of a lot further than the others.

“I don’t know I’m just the escort to make sure you don’t get lost.” He answers, smiling and you know he’s lying.

Finally you reach the place where Vinny is standing with a large dry cleaner’s bag but instead of handing it to you, he hands you another envelope and a third rose.

You open it and read out loud, “Don’t open it until you get back to the bus.”

Alex takes the bag from Vinny, adding it to the shoe box in his hand. He then leads you away from Vinny and back to the nearly empty bus. Alex unzipped the bag, revealing a white strapless dress with black designs and black trimming.

“Wow,” You mumble softly, taking it from Alex who was still grinning. You took it and the shoes into the bathroom and quickly stripped down, pulling on the dress and zipping it up. You had no idea how he found out your size but it fits perfectly and so do the shoes that replaced your grey Converses. You were in awe that he organized this all, found the dress and the shoes and got his friends to agree to stand on a random corner in New York for him all for you and you had the feeling this wasn’t everything yet.

You fixed your hair and makeup and were about to leave the small bathroom when you noticed a small bottle of your favorite perfume with another rose lying next to it. How you didn’t notice that at first was beyond you but you sprayed some on you before taking both and exiting the bathroom. Alex was leaning against the counter waiting for you. You add the fourth rose to the vase that Alex had put the others in.

“Ready?” He asks, opening the door to the bus.

You nod but hesitate, “Is it wrong of me to be nervous?” Your hands were trembling and your heart was beating harder than ever. You’re nervous to see him, to talk to him after everything.

“Don’t be,” He says as you trail him down the same street he led you down earlier. The sun had started to set, dipping behind the tall buildings, creating a warm orange glow. You got quite a few strange looks as you walked down the semi busy streets in a fancy dress with someone dressed in skinny jeans and a beanie. You two were sure a sight.

The further he led you through the city, the less people there was and the clearer the sunset became until you found yourself standing on the top of a hill in a park.

“Alright have fun,” Alex said kissing the top of your head before walking away, leaving you standing alone.

“Alex what am I—” You call after him but he ignores you and keeps walking. What are you supposed to do now?

“You look stunning.” A soft voice says from behind you and you turn to see him standing against the sunset looking as gorgeous as ever in a white dress shirt complete with black dress pants, vest and tie, biting his lip ring slightly, leaving you breathless at the sight of him.

“So do you,” You return, giving him a small smile.

He steps closer to you and takes your hand in his. “Before we go to dinner, I have something I need to tell you.” He pauses and you nod for him to go on, your heart beating even faster than before. “I am so, so, so sorry for the way I acted and for the way I treated you. I never wanted to hurt you like I did and I feel like a complete asshole for it. You deserve so much better than me and I know I should probably let you go so you can find someone who actually deserves someone as amazing as you are.” And you could feel your heart slipping from your chest as your eyes dropped to the ground because did he really do all of this just for closure, to completely end it? “But I can’t,” He continued and you looked back up at him, his brown eyes bright and looking at you like you were the only person in the world. “And I don’t want to because I—” He stopped and took a deep breath. “Because I love you and you’re the only girl in the world I want to be with and I’m selfish and I want you all to myself. You’re beautiful and I love every inch of you, every flaw, every quirk, everything that makes you, you. And I’m really sorry it’s taken all of this for me to see that and I know I probably blew my chance but I just wanted you to know that I love you.”

You’re pretty sure your heart and lungs have both stopped working as you stand there and stare at him with wide eyes. You didn’t know what to do after he just poured his heart out to you on top of this hill in New York, confessing everything you’ve wanted to hear since you opened the door and let him into your house and your heart.

Did you love him back? The question slapped you in the face, like an icy bucket of water. Of course you did. You had finally realized that seconds after you left him standing on the pathway a week ago and the feelings had always been there but you had convinced yourself that you didn’t believe in love and he didn’t feel the same way, sweeping it away like crumbs under a mat. But he was able to undo all pre-convictions you had of love and make you see that it did exist and it was something amazing and wonderful, just like he was.

You blinked, pulling yourself from the hurricane in your mind, trying to absorb what he just said realizing that you had been standing there with your mouth open while he waited for your response. You could see the hopefulness draining away in his eyes with every second that passed.

Before you could blow your chance you grabbed his face and kissed him with more passion than ever before, the only thing you could think of to do to show him how you felt. You could literally see the sparks and fireworks behind closed eyes as a reflection of what you felt inside. It was like your body was about to explode and his lips were the only thing keeping you together.

And how you missed the feeling of his lips against yours, the taste of his mouth, the way he held you and the tingles his lips and hands left on your skin. You missed him.

You pulled back, sliding your hands to rest on his chest, looking into his dark eyes. “I love you too, so fucking much.” You say and watch as his eyes light up and a smile spreads across his face before he kisses you again.

“Let’s go eat.” He says, pulling away from you and taking your hand.

He leads you down from the top of the hill and out of the park. By now your feet had started to hurt from the heels and you were hoping the restaurant was close. Thankfully it was only a few blocks away from the park. He opened the door to a fancy and expensive restaurant and you wonder just how much this was costing him.

You’re led by a waitress up a set of stairs and out to the balcony area where you can see the last of the sunset as night takes over. He orders champagne, still willingly ignoring the fact that you’re not old enough to drink before looking at you, smiling.

“This is amazing.” You tell him, looking around at the view and him.

“I’m really glad you like it.”

“You didn’t have to go through all this trouble for me.”

“I wanted to make our first proper date really special though.” He says looking sheepish and nervous and you can’t help but to smile because he’s so cute when he’s nervous.

The waitress reappeared with the champagne and took your orders before leaving you two to converse easily. It was like nothing happened between you and things went right back to the way they had been. Both of you were still nervous though, trying not to mess this perfect night up and your knees were bouncing in excitement.

Things went smoothly for the rest of the meal, and the food was fantastic. It was like he knew the best places to eat in every city from years of touring. Just as the waitress brought the cheque you glanced across the table at him shyly, “Thank you for everything today. The gifts, the meal, everything was so phenomenal.”

“I have one more thing for you.” He says, reaching into his pants pocket, pulling out a small box. He opened it and inside was a small ring, too small to be an engagement ring but that would be an absurd idea anyway, with a diamond in the middle. “I always thought the idea of promise rings was really cheesy, but I really wanted something to symbolize how much I really do love you. And to make you a promise that I will never ever hurt you the way I did, to be around for as long as you want me to be around and to promise to love you the best that I can.”

Wow, that is one hell of a promise, and you were speechless as he reached across the table, taking your hand and sliding the ring onto your finger. It felt cold against your warm skin but fit perfectly, just like the dress and the shoes and just like you did with him. He stands up, pulling you to your feet and kissing you lightly before leading you down the stairs and out of the restaurant.

You walk hand in hand down the dark streets until you see the buses parked. You turn to head towards the crew’s bus where you can see it lit up and hear the music pounding out of an open window but he tugs on your hand, pointing towards the band’s bus that seemed to be completely empty.

“It’s empty for a reason.” He whispered in your ear as he opens the door and it clicks in your mind why.

Suddenly all the cute, loving feelings are replaced by lust and need as he closes and locks the door, lips attacking yours hungrily. He licks your lip as you bite on his before letting him explore your mouth for the first time in what felt like forever. Your hands find their way to his vest, unbuttoning it and pushing it off his shoulders, quickly discarding his tie along with it while he fumbles with the zipper of your dress. You work on the buttons of his shirt next as you continue to make out and stumble towards his bunk. He finally gets the damn zipper undone and your dress falls to the ground before falling into the bunk with him trailing quickly after you.

So it’s like this: Best birthday ever.