If Love Is The Answer, Could You Repeat The Question?

So it’s like this: Things never last.

A few days and a lot of cold medication later he was finally better and you no longer had to do his job for him, which was a major relief to you. But things started to fall to pieces again.

It started when you woke up to an empty bunk. He had never ever woken up and left without waking you up first, and it wasn’t a day off.

You shook the bad feeling and anxiousness away as you crawled out of the bunk and shuffled into the front lounge where Alex and Rian were sipping coffee and absorbed in their phones. You managed to get yourself a cup of coffee before Alex looks up at you.

“Did you and Matt get into a fight?” He asks.

“No?” You raise an eyebrow.

“Did you deny him a morning blow job?” Rian asks, trying to hide a smile.

“No. Why?”

“Because he is really fucking angry,” Alex answers looking almost as confused as you feel.

“I like how I’m automatically the first to be blamed for his bad mood.” You muse, setting the coffee cup down on the counter.

“Well I mean he also mumbled something about you being a bitch so we just thought…” Rian trails off earning himself an elbow to the ribs from Alex. Apparently you weren’t supposed to know that part.

“What?” Your jaw drops. What the hell is his problem? Everything was fine when you went to bed last night.

“Maybe you should go talk to him,” Alex presses, his head titled to the side like he’s trying to figure out what’s going on.

You nod and walk to the back lounge where you left your bag and close the door behind you. Your hands are shaking slightly from being nervous, although you didn’t have a reason to be yet. You racked your mind of what you could have possibly done to cause him to call you a bitch and put him in such a foul mood but by the time you were finished getting dressed in dark skinnies and a Blink 182 tank top you still couldn’t find a reason. You resist the urge to put on the black hoodie that was laying on the couch that you knew was his, just for a bit of comfort but if he was this mad at you, he probably didn’t want to see you wearing his clothes right now.

Your heart was in the pit of your stomach as you made your way to the front lounge again, pulling on red converses and slowly leaving the bus.

You spot Danny standing outside the trailer and go to ask him if he knew where he was but the sharp look he gave you as you approach him makes you almost flinch and decide to go into the trailer. Your heart stops when you see him standing in it with Vinny and they both stop talking when they see you standing there.

“Uh, hi?” You say quietly as he narrows his eyes at you.

“What do you want?” He snaps.

“To know what I did for you to call me a bitch and suddenly start being a dick?” You state, sounding a lot more confident than you feel.

He snorts and rolls his eyes, “Please, you know perfectly well what you did.”

“No I don’t obviously if I’m here asking about it.” Frustration bubbles up in your stomach at how he’s acting like a child.

“Don’t play stupid with me, seriously.”

You felt the color drain from your face and your stomach hit the ground when you realize that he actually thinks you’re pretending not to know. He looks at you for the first time since you stepped into the trailer and the disgust and anger in his eyes is enough to make you want to fall to the ground in tears. He drops the cables that were in his hand and brushes past you, not wanting to breathe the same air as you anymore.

Before you can stop yourself you reach out and grab his arm to stop him. “Wait please,” You say quietly, trying to hide the tears in your eyes.

“Do not fucking touch me.” He snarls and of course since he’s stronger and your grip on him wasn’t that tight to being with, he jerks himself from your grasp easily and stalks down the ramp leading from the trailer and into the venue, leaving you standing there in shock.

You look back over at Vinny who’s giving you a disapproving look before he leaves the trailer too. The second he’s out of sight you back up until you can feel the wall of the trailer against your back and slide down to the ground. You don’t bother to stop yourself from crying now since there’s no one around.

You have absolutely no idea what you did, and seeing that disgust with you in his eyes hurt so fucking badly. You don’t know what to do either. Talking to him about it clearly didn’t work, and it seemed like no one else was going to tell you what you did.

You stay on the floor of the trailer for a while longer, not realizing that it’s not the best place to cry your eyes out until you hear footsteps coming up the ramp. You’re hoping its Alex or Jack or even Evan, but instead you meet cold, hard angry brown eyes and your breath gets caught in your throat. You open your mouth to say something but he cuts you off.

“Get the fuck out.” He snaps and you slowly pick yourself up off the ground, fresh tears sliding down your cheeks and stumble out of the trailer. Had it been any other time you probably would have tried to defy him but you didn’t want to test his anger and make him hate you more.
And that’s what it seemed like. The way he was talking to you and treating you made it feel like he hated you and it was driving you crazy because you didn’t know why.

You got back to the bus to find it empty, and you liked it better that way. You dove straight into your cold bunk that hadn’t been slept in in weeks. Once the curtain was closed you went back to cry, this time even harder than you were in the trailer, his words and the look on his face spinning around in your head. How could things have gone from great to awful over night? And how the hell were you supposed to fix it if he wasn’t going to tell you what you did wrong?

You buried your face into your pillow, his scent still clinging to it from the last time he snuck into your bunk and the memory just made you cry harder, making you wish you had never gotten out of bed this morning.

So it’s like this: Here we go again.