Tongue Tied

“Well I guess it’s a good thing that you’re swimming with a former Olympian, then.” The minute that statement escaped my mouth I regretted it.

I was stupid. So incredibly dumb to just be opening my mouth to something in my past. It wasn’t like I was lying about the Olympic part. In both Athens and Beijing I had brought home my fair share of the bronze, silver, and gold, and had been extremely proud of all the hard work I had put into swimming in order to attain dreams and goals I had thought up while playing Marco Polo in the pool at age five.

But I wasn’t an Olympian anymore.

When I shot myself in the foot- metaphorically speaking- and completely broke into a thousand pieces of glass shards I had emotionally given up all those Olympic titles, medals, and races. I pushed them so far back in my brain that I had almost had myself convinced that it never happened. Nobody around me spoke of it; they all knew that after my breakdown I couldn’t take talking about swimming anymore.

Physically and mentally I had retired at the Olympics. It wasn’t until after all the glitz and glam of the events were over that I officially called it quits.

For the most part I was able to forget about it in my daily life up until today. I didn’t speak about swimming, or my past and the only time I was ever in a pool for recreational purposes past work was spending time with my family in my parents pool. That wasn’t real swimming though. Those races didn’t count for anything, they were just for fun, and they certainly weren’t begun with hearing bad news.

So when those words were uttered out of my mouth to a man I barely knew, and sort of thought was an arrogant, unwilling asshole, I was being a stupid, stupid girl.

“Hmm, an Olympian swimmer, eh?” he asked, a smirk tugging on his face. I rolled my eyes, and contemplated dunking under the water for the shit-eating grin, but decided against it. It probably wouldn’t be the most ideal move to drown hockey’s Golden Child.

“Once upon a time, I was, yes.” I replied back hoping to quickly take him off of this topic and back towards his PT, the thing I was being paid for. “Can you try and float? Like making an attempt at it? I don’t want to be paid for nothing, here.”

“What happened?” At that moment, all the color probably escaped my face.

Who did he think he was just asking questions like that? I knew him for maybe an hour tops, and he was just asking why I didn’t consider myself an Olympic anymore?

“You ask a lot of questions for somebody who is supposed to have a concussion.” That was a low blow. A real low blow that I shouldn’t have brought up in the first place, like my former past in the Olympics, his concussion wasn’t any of my business— and I didn’t want to make it mine.

His face dropped, again like my own, and I really realized I shouldn’t have brought that up.

“I’m sorry, that was inappropriate.” I quickly replied, as she tried to brush it off.

“I have a concussion. It’s not like you’re lying or anything…” God, I was such a bitch.

“Okay.”

“Now how do I float? How exactly does one go about floating?” He asked with a small smile. I grinned and splashed water towards him before regaining my cool, and instructing him how to do the most basic part of swimming.

“You need to relax,” I instructed him as he lay on his back. I held him up from a supine position and motioned for him to lay his legs out straight. Eventually he relaxed and I was able to move on. “Now take deep breaths, and put your arms out slightly in order for you to get your balance.” As soon as I felt like he was comfortable enough on his own, and was floating pretty well, I moved my arms and put them over my head.

“You’re floating!” I grinned like a small child, he looked around the pool and noticed I was about three feet away.

“Hey! I can float!” He cried, sounding just as much as a small child than I had just. We both laughed as he began to lose his balance and began to sink.

“That wasn’t what you were supposed to do.” I shook my head as he returned back up to the surface. His dark brown curls were now matted to the side of his face and head, making him look like some kind of deep-sea creature.

“My hair probably looks fantastic now,” He spoke sarcastically as he flattened himself back out on the top of the water to float again. I laughed.

“Not too bad. I could get you a cap though. I have thousands somewhere in storage with SUTTON written in hot pink letters down the sides. It’s a cute look,” He rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“I’m sure I could go without one.”

~~~~~

“So we’re going to have another session tomorrow?” Sidney asked, walking out of the change room hallway and back towards the main swim deck. I was in the middle of sending a quick text message to my mom that I wasn’t able to make it to dinner tonight, and wasn’t paying much attention to his question.

“Hmm?” I replied, looking up from my white iPhone.

“Tomorrow? Another session? Or when?” Oh. I brought up my calendar in my phone, and looked for when he was scheduled next. Between working at the VA hospital and here, I had to make sure that my schedules didn’t conflict.

“Yep, we’re here again tomorrow. Jack booked us the pool from at 2. Is that alright?” I asked as I shut my phone off and set it on the bleacher. Taking my athletic shorts out of my duffel and shoving them onto my hips, I scurried through my bag for my keys—which as usual were missing in action.

He nodded, and pulled his keys from the pocket of his jeans.

“Sounds good to me. Basically whenever is good for me, just so long as it doesn’t conflict with the exorable amount of doctors appointments that I have to attend.” His child-like smirk let me know that he was just joking, but deep down you could tell he wasn’t.

Like swimming had been to me so many years before, hockey was Sidney’s life and without it he was probably lost.

“You’ll be back there before you know it, and when you do you’ll have to get me a ticket to your first game back. Gotta thank the little people.” I was joking.

“Most definitely. Right behind the bench, eh?” I shook my head and laughed.

“When I was younger I sat behind the bench with my dad and Mario’s kids, and I hated it. I couldn’t see anything behind the players. More like on the ice.”

“On the ice? You want a chair right on the ice?”

“No, stupid.” I laughed and he did too. As much as I thought he was an arrogant, unwilling asshole earlier in the day, he could actually be pretty cool- and funny.

“I know what you’re talking about. I’ll get them for you. As soon as my first game back.”

An awkward silence was followed, and finally I was able to find my keys stuffed far into my duffel.

“So I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then?” I finally asked, shoving my hands into the pocket in front of my hoodie and raising my eyebrows slightly. I wasn’t going home anytime soon. I had a “contract” that I was supposed to sign stating all of my do’s and don’ts of working with a professional hockey player.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He grinned like a young boy before waving goodbye and walking towards where the lobby of Burton’s Aquatic Center was located.