Time and Consequence

Annabella scuffed her sock covered feet against the floor, as she walked sleepily over to me. I placed my laptop on the glass coffee table, and Annabella climbed up onto the couch, leaning her small body against mine.

"Mommy, I'm hungry," she slurred, her drowsiness making me laugh.

"What would you like to eat?" I said as I looked up at the clock hanging on the wall. It was 4:46. I guess we could have dinner now, and she could have a small snack later on.

"Mac and cheese!" She said excitedly, starting to wake up fully.

I laughed and stood up from the couch, and she followed me to the small kitchen that's attached to the living room. I looked through the pantry and found a container of macaroni and cheese that you just add water to, pop it in the microwave for three and a half minutes, and then add the packet of cheese sauce. I filled the container to where it instructed me to, and then I put it in the microwave. Annabella already lost her interest with the meal and was back on the couch, trying to turn the television on. I reached back into the pantry to find a can of green beans, but then the distant ringtone of my cell phone started to go off. I could feel my stomach churning as I walked to my purse, which was sitting on the coffee table. I searched through the mess of it (reminding myself I desperately needed to clean this), until I found my phone. I quickly checked the caller ID. It wasn't saved into my contacts, but the area code confirmed it was from around here. I cleared my throat and then I hit the glowing green button which would start the call.

"Hello?" I tried to sound calm, but the nervousness in my voice stuck out.

"Is this Noel?" That familiar raspy voice said through the phone, but it was deeper than I remember.

"Mhm," I sort of mumbled. It was quiet for a few seconds. "I'm guessing this is John."

"Yeah, yeah, it's me. I understand if you totally don't want to talk to me."

I scoff slightly. "If I didn't want to talk to you, I wouldn't have told Ross to give you my number."

"Oh, right..." He said and then it was quiet for a moment until he spoke again. "Do you uh, wanna go get a cup of coffee or something? We can talk and catch up."

I knew that I wanted to. I've wanted to for the longest time. I needed some closure. "Sure."

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I arrived at the small coffee shop on the corner of Thomas and 32rd. I stepped from my car and I instantly saw him. I could already feel butterflies slicing holes in my gut. I was glad I left Annabella with my parents. I wasn't ready for her to meet her father.

He was standing just outside of the establishment, his back resting against the brick building, one foot on the pavement and one pressed against the wall. He had his hands cupped over his mouth, and once he put his hands down, a cigarette dangled from his lips. From the last time I've seen him in person, he has definitely matured. He has to be around 6 feet tall, his hair is short and the front is gelled back slightly, but a big lock of hair falls to the side. He has a pair of sunglasses on, and I don't blame him. The sun is brutal today. I looked down his lanky body. He was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans, holes at his knees. His torso was covered by a plaid flannel shirt, his chest tattoo peeking up through the opening. I couldn't tell if he noticed me, but I pushed myself to go up to him.

I scuffed my feet as I walked, a bad habit Annabella got from me. John cocked his head over to me. He removed his sunglasses and let them dangle from his shirt, exposing his chest tattoo even more. I stood infront of him, giving him an awkward smile, and he did the same.

"It's nice to see you, Noel," he said, giving me a less awkward grin.

"You too. How's touring been and all?" I kept my arms by my hips as he played around with his cigarette. "And those are bad for you, you know."

"I know, I know. I've been trying to quit. I mostly just smoke when we're touring, it calms me down. And our tour was pretty good. Glad to be back home," he said, paused for a moment. "How's... you know..." he said, his voice dropping.

"She's good," I responded, moving my hands so they were now resting on my hips.

I could see his eyes lighting up. "What's her name?"

"Annabella," I took a deep breath, trying to gather all of my thoughts. I wanted to tell him all of the things I've wanted to tell him for the past five years. "Why did you want to see me?"

He dropped the cigarette from his lips, crushing it into the pavement with his boot. "I... I'm so sorry that I ran out on you when you needed me most. I can never take back all you've been through. I want to be in my daughter's life. I... I'll give you all the money you need. I'll watch her when I'm not touring. I want to be in your life, and hers. I want you to give me a chance. I won't run away this time, I promise."

I couldn't help but let out a small giggle. "And what will all of your fans say when they find out you have a daughter?"

He smiled once he heard my small laugh, and he shrugged as I leaned back against the wall. "I don't care what they think. I'm ready to step up and be responsible."

I considered it for a moment, and then I nodded. "Only if you promise to be in her life. I don't want her to not have a father. It would be worse if you came in her life for a few years and then left for good. I'm not putting her through that. You have to promise you won't run away again."

He nodded, and gave me a cheeky grin. He lifted up his hand, and then stuck out his pinky. I wrapped mine around his. "Promise."