Time and Consequence

John pulled up in front of my house, cutting off the engine. Anna was still asleep in the back seat. John and I stepped out of the car, and I went to grab her out of the back, but John beat me to it. He lifted her out of the car, her limp body resting against his lanky body. Her head was pressed against his shoulder, and I could hear her breathing from the other side of the car. He grinned at me and I could feel my cheeks getting hot. I walked with him into my parents’ house, all of the lights off in the house. My parents were upstairs, probably sleeping. I knew they wouldn’t like John staying here overnight, so I wouldn’t mention it to them the next day.

“Do you still sleep in your room upstairs?” He smirked once we entered the house.

I laughed a little, but then I remembered that’s where Anna was conceived, and it made it slightly awkward.

“No, my dad made the basement into a little apartment for me and her. It’s cute, it fits us well,” I shrugged, leading him through the living room and to the basement door, opening it. We walked downstairs, Annabella still in his arms. I turned on a light once we got downstairs, and I motioned him to where her bedroom was so he could put her down. I walked to my bedroom to change quickly, just wanting to get out of my dress. I threw on a pair of jeans the first shirt I pulled out of my closet, it being a floral, frilly top. My hair was getting a little frizzy, so I took my hair out of the position it was in, and I let it drop onto my back, and I slid on a beanie. He was already sitting in the living room when I walked back out.

“So, what do you do in your free time?” He asked once I walked back out. He was standing in front of the couch.

“What free time?” I scoffed, plopping down onto the couch.

He sat down next to me, facing me on the couch. “You seriously don’t have any free time to do what you enjoy?”

I looked at him, dumbfounded. What did I enjoy anymore?

“I work my life on a cycle. Wake up, get ready, wake Anna up, get her ready, bring her to school, go to work, pick her up from school, go home, repeat,” I said, moving so I could face him, our eyes burning into each other’s.

A smile formed on his lips. “Let’s go out, right now. Annabella’s sleeping, she’ll be fine.”

I raised my eyebrows at him, and before I could speak, he started to talk again.

“We’ll be out for an hour, tops. Come on, Noel. Just like old times. Sneaking out in the middle of the night, going to our spot, and finishing off a six pack. Please?” He begged. Once when we were sixteen, on our adventures we would take, we found a path that led up a hill overlooking the city. It was so beautiful at night time.

“It can’t be like old times. We have a kid…”

“Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaassssseeeeeeeeeeeeeee?” He pleaded, putting his hands together.

“Ugh, fine. But no six pack.”

He grinned and stood up, pulling me up with him. We trotted up the stairs, and out to my car. He got in the driver’s seat with my car keys already in his hand.

“Wha-?” I started to say, but John spoke.

“Do you want a new car?” He asked as he turned on the ignition. “I mean, no offense, but this car is a piece of shit.”

I clipped my seatbelt across my body. “I know it’s a piece of shit. And of course I want a new car, but I can’t afford a new one. I can barely afford food.”

John was quiet for a moment as he pulled out of my driveway. “You can use my car while I’m touring, and I’ll give you money when you need it. You’ve been through so much, and most of it,” he paused, correcting himself. “All of it is my fault. I need to make it up to you and Anna.”

I wanted to be nice and turn it down, but I was in desperate need for money. I didn’t want to admit it to him, or myself. “Okay.”

“And if you want, I’ll watch Anna when I’m around, and my parents can watch her when I’m not. You can go to college. I know you wanted to go to med school, so do it.”

I bit the inside of my lip, John cruising through the empty roads of my suburban neighborhood. “So, where are we going?” I asked, looking over to him. He had one hand on the bottom of the steering wheel, the other resting on his thigh again.

He grinned over to me, speeding up as he got out of my neighborhood. “Want to go to Painter’s?”
Painter’s was an ice cream shop in the heart of Phoenix that John and I went to every Friday night before going to our spot. It looked run down; shack like, so most people ignored it. They made homemade ice cream, and it’s the best ice cream I’ve ever had.

“Is that still even open? Last time we went, we were seventeen, and then it looked closed,” I said and then he shrugged, grinning at me.

“Let’s go see if it still is.”

He drove the ten minutes it took to get there, and he pulled into the parking lot. There was a dim lit sign in the window that said “OPEN”. John turned my car off and we both stepped out. He led me to the order window, and he knocked on it. After a minute, a middle aged man walked up to the window. He’s been the owner since we were kids, and I could tell her still remembered us.

“Why isn’t it ya two love birds!” He let out a laugh, opening the window. “How are ya guys? I haven’t seen ya’s since ya were teenagas!”

“I’m good, Pauly. Remember our usual?” John said, putting his arm around my shoulders.

“Of course! For you, it was mint chocolate chip, and for the lady, it was vanilla with oreo pieces!” He grinned.

“Right on!” I said pleasantly.

“Give me two minutes!” He said cheerfully and walked to the back of the small shop. John kept his arm around me, pulling him closer to me.

“Doesn’t it feel like we’re teenagers again, Noel?” He asked, a smile forming on his lips. I couldn’t help but smile back at him. His smile had always been contagious.

“I guess. Don’t want to sound like a party pooper, but a lot has changed,” I said. I hope he knew that everything wasn’t going to be like it was when we were young and reckless teenagers madly in love.

Pauly came back, two bowls of ice cream in his old hands. When we were younger, John and I would sit with Pauly outside, enjoying the not-so-humid night time air of Phoenix. Pauly would talk to us about his business and how it wasn’t doing to good then, and that was 5 years ago. He lost his wife, Maureen, when I was 16. He always talked about her and it broke my heart. They were married for 53 years, raised 3 kids, 2 grandchildren, and one great grandchild. She suffered awhile from cancer and with a two year fight, she lost.

“Here we go! Ice cream, on the house,” Pauly said as he placed the two cups on the counter.

“No, Pauly,” John said. “I know your business is struggling. No one comes here anymore.”

Pauly sighed. “I’ve been thinkin’ a closin’ the place, but it reminds me a my Maur ta much.”

John leaned his arm on the counter. “Maureen wouldn’t want you to be suffering like this.”

“Pauly,” I started to say. “She’d want you to close this place, and just relax. Enjoy life. Stop stressing yourself out over this place.”

He frowned, playing with the wedding band on his finger. “I, I guess you’re right. Jus’ gotta keep Maur on ma mind.”

“She’ll always be in your mind, and always in your heart,” I said.

John placed a few hundred dollar bills on the counter and took the ice cream, walking to the car without another word. I gave Pauly a smile before following John back to my car. He got back into the driver’s seat and I got in the passenger’s seat. He handed me my ice cream.

“He’s such a good guy,” John said. He was almost done with his ice cream already.

“John,” I started. I felt like it was the right time to talk to him about something that was bothering me. “I think that in order for us to be friends again we should just be honest with each other. For Anna’s sake.”

He glanced over at me. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that you should just tell me if you’re seeing anyone. I don’t want Anna to call someone else ‘mom’ when she barely knows her dad.”

He took a deep sigh and I could tell this would start an argument. “I don’t really have to tell you anything, Noel. You see, you aren’t my mother.”

“Well, I am the mother of your child. I raised your child by myself. Why? Because you weren’t there for me. Ever. You told me that we would do it together, raise Anna together. Together, John!” I clenched my hands into fists, feeling my eyes start to burn with tears.

John drove back to my house with a deafening silence filling the car. Once we were parked in front of my house, I got out and went inside. I stormed down the stairs, tears filling my eyes. I was into a fit of sobs once I got into my bedroom, pushing things off of my dresser. I quickly put on pajamas and laid in bed. I remember sobbing myself to sleep, but vaguely remembering John coming into my room and laying next to me to sing me to sleep.