Time and Consequence

‘“Get rid of it! I don’t fucking want it! It’s just a mistake, and I don’t want it. It should never be born, and if you keep it, I won’t even be in its life. Its life is a mistake, and you were the biggest mistake in
my life…”

---

I woke up in a sweat, and I was panting. It was just a dream, it didn’t happen. My body was covered in sweat, and I quickly sat up in my bed. John’s arm was around my waist, and he quickly jerked it back to him as I sat up. I glanced over at the alarm clock, vibrating the room a bright shade of green. The time read 3:54 AM. I glanced around the room, and then looked down at John. His eyes were looking up at me which terrified me. I was so scared that he was awake that I jumped slightly.

“What the fuck, why are you awake?!” I let out in a holler, gripping the blankets in my hands. “And why are you here?!”

He sat up, the blanket falling from his chest to his waist, exposing his chest. He was still lanky, his chest tattoo showing, and the tattoo saying “some people have real problems” on his side was facing me.

“You kept mumbling and panting in your sleep, it sounded like you were having a nightmare, and I was worried but I didn’t want to wake you up, and I’m here because you know that you need me here. You can push me away all you want, but I’ll always come back,” he said with a cheeky grin.

I let out a deep sigh, wiping some of my hair from my eyes. “I’m going for a walk.”

“I’ll come,” he responded.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

“I’ll come.”

“Fine,” I mumbled, standing up from my bed. I was wearing a pair of shorts and a tanktop, and I felt naked in front of him. I glanced over at him as he stood up, but he was wearing just a pair of boxers. He was searching in the dark for where he left his jeans, so I turned the lamp on that was on my nightstand.

“Thanks,” he said, grabbing his jeans and sliding them on.

I didn’t respond because I was putting on a pair of Vans. He left his feet barefoot as we walked upstairs together and outside.

The December air in Tempe was warm, but not as warm as it was during the day, but it was still the warm that made your body feel uncomfortable. I hated warm weather, but I loved Arizona. I grew up here, I met the teenage love of my life, and I had my beautiful daughter here. I don’t think I could ever leave.

John and I walked down my parent’s driveway onto the pavement of the neighborhood. I glanced
down at John’s feet.

“How does that not hurt your feet?” I laughed.

“Oh, my feet are burning, but ever so slightly,” he returned the laugh. I gave him a smile and he stopped walking, looking at me. “Want to do something reckless?”

“Reckless? What do you mean?” I tilted my head to the side as he grabbed my wrist, pulling me to him. He looked down at me for a few seconds before dragging me over to my car. He left the keys in the ignition, so once we got in he started up the car. I was sat in the passenger’s seat, staring at him.

“Where are we going? We can’t go far; Anna will be awake soon...”

“We aren’t going far, it’s only a two minute drive,” he responded, pulling out of the driveway and speeding out of the neighborhood.

“Seriously, where are we going?” I asked, the headlights of the car illuminating the dark night.

“It’s a surprise!” he whined, which made me smile. After two minutes, he pulled into the local grocery store that’s open 24 hours. There was two cars in the parking lot, and John pulled in an empty spot right near the entrance.

“Why are we here, John?”

“Have you ever wanted to run through a grocery store, and just fuck around?”

“Well yeah, but you aren’t suppose to…” I wiggled my eyebrows as he opened the car door, getting out.

“Fuck all the rules, come on Noel!” he screamed, shirtless and shoeless. I got out of the car, and he grabbed me, running with me to the entrance of the grocery store. He grabbed a cart and gestured to it. “Get in.”

I looked at him, somewhat dumbfounded. “I’m not getting in there, it’s so dirty!”

“Get in!” he shouted jokingly. I let out a sigh, putting my hands on the cart and lifting myself in. I sat down in it, my back resting against it as I looked at John. He pushed the cart inside pretty fast. The lights in the store were all dim, and the main part where most of the fruits and vegetables are, and the deli on the right side. To the left, there were all of the cash registers. There was one worker who was lying on where the food is rolled down and he was reading a book. He glanced over at us and then looked back at his book, and I could sense an eye roll. John rolled the cart by a magazine stand, and I quickly reached out, grabbing the first magazine I could. It was a Cosmopolitan, of course I grabbed that. I flipped through the pages, stopping at a quiz.

“John, are you boyfriend material?” I asked, he giving me a weird look.

“What? Are you asking me out?”

“I’m giving you a quiz you dipshit. Okay, first question. It’s your girlfriend’s birthday, what do you do? One, a pricey gift. Two, a dinner at their favorite restaurant, or three, why spend money?”

He kept rolling the cart through the aisles, grabbing random food that looked good. “Uhhhh… probably the dinner.”

“Okay,” I said, making a mark in my head to remember the answer. “Next question. A girl and you made plans, but she tells you her friends from college are flying in that night. What do you do? One, say that it’s cool and make other plans, two, get mad, or three, worry that she’ll hit on other dudes.

“I’d probably make other plans, and be worried. Can I pick two?” he asked, throwing a package of Milano cookies into my lap.

“No, only one,” I responded, crossing my legs.

“Okay, I’d make other plans.”

“Question three,” I said, flipping the page. “Your girlfriend loses her job, what do you do? One, play the shrink all night. Two, run away. Three, try to be supportive but don’t let her wallow for more than an hour.”

“The last one, definitely.”

“Okay, one more. Does life get more exciting when you’re in a relationship? One, only if you have similar hobbies. Two, nah, even hot girls get boring, or three, yes, life sucks when you’re single.”

He looked at me for a good ten seconds before responding. “Life sucks when you’re single.”

I looked back at him, but then quickly looked down at the magazine. “Okay, you got um, a killer catch.

It means you’re pretty much a good guy,” I said, keeping my eyes down at the paper.

“Do you think that, Noel?” he asked innocently.

I glanced up at him, shrugging. “You’re unpredictable, O’Callaghan.”

He smiled at me a little and then turned the cart abruptly and pushed it towards the only open cash register. He put the cookies, chocolate milk, and pizza rolls on the roller, the 30 year old man scanning the things without speaking. I was still sat in the cart as he kept his gaze down.

“11.76,” the man muttered and John handed him a twenty. John handed me the small bag and got his change.

“Thanks man,” John said cheerfully.

“Yeah, next time you come in here, wear a shirt please,” the man mumbled and John pulled the cart away from the register and he pushed us outside.

John helped me get out, but instead of letting go of me, he carried me to the car. I was laughing the entire time, my legs wrapped around his waist. “That was... fun. And hey, we have chocolate milk.”

“Don’t forget the cookies!” he screamed.

“And the cookies!” I screamed back.

“And the pizza rolls!”

“And the pizza rolls!”

He set me down, my feet now on the gravel. His eyes were looking down at me, and I was looking back up to his. Before I could say anything, John was leaning down, his lips crashing into mine.