Time and Consequence

"Absolutely not," my mother scoffed as we sat in the living room together, watching America's Next Top Model. My father was at work, and Anna was at school. My mother has always been a stay at home mother. She and my father got married when they were young, and my mother got pregnant with my older brother, Tate, when she was twenty, and then gave birth to me when she was twenty five.

"Oh my God, mom, I won't be gone for years. It's two, three months. John said his parents will watch her, and you can too. I'm twenty three years old, I can handle myself," I shot back, keeping my eyes on the television.

"You also have a child to take care of, and you aren't being mature about it, " my mom said, looking over at me.

My mother and I always had a great relationship growing up. I was her baby girl. She did whatever she could to make me happy. I would say that she favored me more over Tate, but Tate was my father's son. They would go to baseball games, we would go out shopping. That's how it always was.

Once I got pregnant, our relationship collapsed. It was like I was a disgrace to the family. At a family party once at my grandparents' house, I was seventeen and five months pregnant. I overheard my mother telling her mother how she was worried about me. How I was going down the wrong path. I confronted her after that, and she almost kicked me out.

"I have to go pick up Anna, I'll be home later," I muttered and then stood up, picked up my keys, and walked to my car.

The drive to the elementary school was five minutes. I got there ten minutes early, so I sat in my car to avoid the humid air. I took my iPhone out from my purse and I opened my Twitter app. There was a small sign at the bottom saying that I had some interactions. Instantly, my twitter became a huge fangirl frenzy. There were girls calling me a whore, a slut, a groupie. They all were attacking me. As I was scrolling through all of the interactions, seeing what these people were saying about me, John started to call me. I waited a few seconds before answering.

"Hello?" I said, putting it on speaker phone.

"Noel, have you looked at twitter lately?" he said.

"I just did," I answered back.

"I'm so sorry, it's all my fault. When any of the fans see we're with someone, they all attack the girl. It happened with Garrett's current girlfriend. Don't take anything they say to heart."

"How did they get my twitter?" I asked, seeing some of the kids walking out of school. I opened my car door, taking off speakerphone and putting the phone to my ear.

"I started to follow you on twitter, I figured that it wouldn't be a big deal, but you're the only person I follow, and yeah... it's my fault. Are you busy?"

"I'm picking up Anna from school," I replied, walking to the front of the school.

"Come over with her. We can spend the day together," he said cheerfully.

"Okay, I'll be over in ten," I replied. I ended the call and waited for Annabella to come out. She walked out of the school, carrying her backpack.

"They call it a backpack because you put it on your back," I said as she walked up to me. She handed me her backpack.

"I don't wanna put it on my back, why can't I put it over my tummy?" She asked, putting her hands on her stomach.

I offered her my hand and we started to walk to my car. "Cause you would look silly!" I smiled at her. "Hey, wanna go see Daddy?"

"Yeah!" she screamed. I helped her into the car and then I drove to John's parents' house. The only car in the driveway was John's.

----

Anna fell asleep after ten minutes of us getting there. John put her down in his room to take her nap so we could talk about the whole situation of touring.

"It's impossible John," I sighed as we sat at his kitchen table. I was drinking a cup of tea and he had a cup of coffee. "My mom won't let me, and say I do go with you. I don't want Anna to be upset."

He took a sip of his coffee and then spoke. "You're twenty three years old, I don't think your mother can tell you what you can and can't do."

I looked at John and then down at the tea cup. "If I do go, she'll kick me out. I don't have anywhere else to go. I don't have a good job, I can barely afford my car and health insurance."

He reached over, putting his the back of his hands on the table. "Okay, so your mom kicks you out. You can move in here, my parents would be fine with it. They would get to see Anna more."

I looked at him and then put my hands on top of his. "I wouldn't want to be a burden," I said quietly.

He laughed slightly. "You? A burden? I think my mom loves you more than she loves me." I giggled and then John smiled even more. "You're so beautiful when you laugh," he said gently, rubbing my hands.

I felt my cheeks get hot, shaking my head. I could feel my stomach getting butterflies, but it felt like there was an entire parade going on in my body whenever John spoke. "When does the tour start?"

The sun was just starting to set over the Arizona mountains. The light was gently illuminating the room, but in a couple of minutes, we would be sitting in the dark.

"It starts in two weeks, February 5th is the day we leave. Our first show is starting in California. We kind of go around in a circle until we get back to Arizona."

I took a deep breath, glancing out the window next to the mahogany table. "Let me make sure it's okay with Anna before I decide anything drastic, like moving out."

"Anything that makes my two favorite girls happy."

----

I sat with Anna in the basement of my parent's house. We were curled up on the couch together, watching Cartoon Network together.

"Hey baby," I said gently as a commercial started to play.

"Yeah mommy?" she asked, her identical green eyes of her father looking up to me.

"I want to ask you something. I want to do something, but only if I have your permission."

I sat up, Anna sitting in my lap. "Okay," she said, a smile circulating her face.

"Daddy has to go away for a few months, and he wants me to go with him. But if we went, you couldn't come with us."

"Why not?" her smile started to fade.

"Because.. it's a grown up thing. Daddy wants to show me what he does for his job. He gets to sing in front of a bunch of people who love his singing," I said back, her hands playing with my hair.

"Would that make you and daddy happy? If you went?" she asked.

"Only if you were okay with it."

"Do you love daddy?"

"I love daddy very much," I said, looking down at her.

"I want you and daddy to be happy and I want you to love daddy, and I want daddy to love you."