Diary of a Lost Girl

11:13am - Yesterday was so fucking good. It felt good to get stoned again, to forget my whole shit life for a while. I forgot what I was missing out on trying to get over the whole drugs and alcohol phase whilst in hospital. I'm relapsing. I know. My Dad didn't even notice that I was fucked out my head and everything was great. I need to get stoned and drunk again more often in future. I'm sick of trying not to buy a bag of weed, trying not to get pissed because of the negative impact it has on me. I'll do whatever the fuck I want.

I've not slept for almost 48 hours now. Am I in a manic phase? I don't know. I can't sleep. I don't need to sleep. I feel like the whole world is going too slow for my brain at the minute. My thoughts are flying, I'm completely in my own little world where everything is fucking lovely.

I've got loads of plans for the next coming days. Loads. It sucks that I have to go back to the hospital tonight but I'll get over it. I found some stray bits of weed that were in the bottom of my bag leftover from yesterday and I've made a mini spliff with them. I don't know if it'll be enough to get me stoned again but I'm taking it back to the hospital with me. When I go out for a cigarette tomorrow morning whilst I'm at the hospital I'll have the spliff. I fucking hope it gets me stoned. I don't even care about the staff noticing because life is just fucking fabulous right now. I'm going to ask my doctor for stronger sleeping tablets though when I go back, because I need to sleep and I just can't. My mind just won't shut down, it's racing. I'm full of ideas and happiness and I don't even know.