I Never Told You

And so it begins. My week “off.” I laid in my bed with my eyes closed, picturing all of the things I could be doing rather than working on this stupid group project.

I could’ve been in Colorado with Gabe. Instead, I’m about to crawl out of bed and wait for Nik, a guy from my class to pick me up to meet up with the rest of our group. After getting showered and changed, I made my way downstairs, I saw Bea sitting on the couch texting. She looked up and waved at me.

“You off to study?”

I nodded. “Yepp, just waiting for Nik to come get me.”

“Nik? Is he the guy that slipped on the ice, ripping his pants the other day in front of the building?”

I smirked, remembering the event. “Yeah, that’s him.”

“Well, have fun. Remember, it’s game day.”

I smiled at her and nodded once again. “2:00, right?”

She nodded with a smile. “Yep. It’ll just be you and me. Mom and Dad have an early morning.”

“Okay, see you later.”

I slipped my coat on and walked out the front door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3 hours later

“So, Katy, what do you think about it?”

I was snapped out of my thoughts by Nik. I blinked a few times before responding.

“Oh, I’m sorry, my mind was wandering. What were you talking about?”

He sighed. “Katy, you haven’t been able to focus on anything since we got here. Is something wrong?”

I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head. “No, it’s nothing. I just didn’t get the greatest sleep last night, that’s all.”

He nodded and went over what he and Cynthia were talking about earlier. Zak had apparently left sometime during my “wandering thoughts.” I was paying attention this time, but I felt my cell phone vibrate in my pocket. I looked down at it, but didn’t want to be rude and pull it out in front of everyone.

“You can answer it, we’re almost done here, anyway.” Cynthia said.

I gave her a small smile and pulled my phone out. I saw that it was a text.

I raised an eyebrow at my phone. I didn’t know what to think. I looked back up at my classmates before closing my phone and sending them a smile.

“Sorry. Okay, explain this to me again.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gabe’s POV

“So, no Katy this week?”

I shook my head. “No Matt, Katy’s got school work to do. How many times do I have to tell you that?”

He threw his arms up in defense. “Sorry, just trying to make conversation. You seem a little bit out of it, that’s all.”

“I’m fine.”

He shook his head and walked out of the locker room. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. What the hell is wrong with me?

I pulled my phone out of my bag and looked at it before dialing.

“Hey, you’ve reached Katy. I’m sorry I missed your call. Leave a message.”

Not knowing what to say, I shut my phone and put it back in my bag. Gathering up the rest of my gear, I left the locker room and made my way out to my car.

I wanted to text Bea to see if she knew anything that was going on with Katy, but I didn’t want her to think I was getting clingy. I knew that Katy was doing some school work, I just wished that she was in Colorado, with me. When I walked into my apartment, I walked past Matt, into my room and flopped on my bed, taking a nap before the game.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katy’s POV

After Nik dropped me off, I walked right up to my room. I had so much running through my head and I was trying to focus on too many things at once. I knew my mind should’ve been on school, but my thoughts kept wandering to Gabe and the guilt that was sitting in the pit of my stomach ever since I made the decision not to go to Denver for the week.

“What am I afraid of?” I whispered to myself. I sat and my bed and leaned back against the pillows. I picked up my phone, looked at the time and dialed a number that always helped me clear my head.

“Hey sweetheart! How’s spring break?”

I smiled at the sheer sound of my mom’s voice.

“Well, it just started, but so far, it’s been a little hectic.”

“Working on your project?”

“Yeah, I just got home. At it again tomorrow.”

“Long day, huh?”

I sighed and raked a hand through my hair. “Oh yeah, took me forever to get focused.”

“Oh no, why’s that?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Mom.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gabe’s POV

After sleeping far longer than I should’ve, I rolled out of bed and made my way to the kitchen for my pre-game meal. When I reached the kitchen, I saw Matt sitting down and eating a small portion of spaghetti.

“Hey, there’s a plate for you in the microwave.”

I smiled, happy that I didn’t have to prepare a meal from scratch. I sat down across from Matt, sipping the coffee I poured, waiting for my spaghetti to warm up.

“I’m sorry, by the way. About earlier, about Katy. It was wrong of me to push like that.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “It’s okay. Let’s not focus on that right now.” I stepped up from my stool. “It’s game day.”

I sat back down, plate in hand, knowing this conversation wasn’t over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katy’s POV

My mom was a trooper. She listened to me babble on about little things that had been bothering me since I made the decision to stay in Sweden. However, she could see right through all of that and knew that there was something else.

“Spill it.”

I chuckled inwardly, shaking my head. “Wow, you’re good.”

“Honey, if you think I’m going to buy that the little things like the fact that Beatrice reminded you that it was game day are the things that have you calling me and cause you not to focus on your schoolwork, you’re crazier than I thought.”

“I can’t ever fool you, can I?”

I could just picture her shaking her head, bringing a smile to my face.

“No, no you can’t. So, what’s up buttercup?”

I hadn’t really prepared for this moment, so I wasn’t sure how to go about talking about it.

“Well, I don’t really know what to do.”

“About what?”

“Gabe said it.”

“Said what?” I opened my mouth to reply, but my mom caught on. “Oh my! He said he loves you! When?”

“Just before I left Colorado to come back here. He said it in Swedish, so I didn’t understand it. But I heard his parents say it to each other at the dinner table the other day and asked Bea what they said.”

“So, what you’re telling me is, you didn’t say it back and now you’re analyzing everything and it’s holding you back from talking to him for the time being?”

“How do you do it?”

“Experience, babe. So, do you think you love him?”

I sat up and ran a hand through my hair. “I don’t know. I mean, how do you know?”

I heard a low sigh on the other end.

“Well, I would start with asking yourself some questions. Do you find yourself thinking about him all the time? Do you make each big decision keeping him in mind? Do you find yourself missing the small things? Things like that. If they all come up yes, then you’re on the right path. Remember, though, that you and Gabe did just start dating. I don’t know him too well, other than what you’ve told me, so I can’t give you specific questions. I wish I could, sweetie. I can tell this is bothering you.”

“Yeah, I just… I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking about it. He doesn’t even know I know what he said.”

“Talk to him, hun. I know you don’t want to throw him off his game, but you can’t keep torturing yourself like this. You’re staying in Sweden to keep up with your school work, and you can’t even focus on that because of this.”

I sighed and threw my head back. “Oh Mom, you don’t even know.”

“I wish there was more I could tell you. Keep your chin up, girl.”

I smiled. “Thanks, Mom. I love you and remember, only two months, then I’ll be home.”

“Love you too. If you need me, at anytime, you call me, got it?”

Mommy mode strikes again. “Yeah, I got it. Bye, Mom. Say hi to everyone for me.”

I hung up and saw that I had a missed call, after seeing his name, I put my phone on the bedside table. Looking at my alarm clock, I found that I had a few hours before Bea would call me downstairs for the game. I replayed my conversation with my mom in my head as I let my eye close and fell into a soft slumber.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“KATY!!!”

I sat up, startled. Glancing over at the clock, I saw that the game was just about to start. Thank goodness for Bea’s scream. I wanted to change into some pajamas before I went downstairs. I went to my dresser and my eyes grazed over to my phone. Knowing that I couldn’t keep this off any longer, I picked it up and dialed the number.

“Hi, it’s me. I know you’re in the middle of a game, but I need to talk to you. When you get a second to yourself, gimme a call. It doesn’t have to be tonight, just…whenever. Okay, bye.”

“Katy, come on!! The puck’s gonna drop any minute!”

With a small sigh, I quickly changed and made my way downstairs, my phone clutched in my hand.