These Days

I was hiding in my bunk, texting John when I heard Jack's yell. I couldn't quite make out what he was saying though. But why was he yelling? was he in trouble? Should I . . . my phone vibrated in my hand. Another new text from John. I pushed all thoughts of Jack out of my head. I couldn't worry about him anymore.

#

The next day I emerged from my bunk when the bus stopped mumbling
"I'm going to find a gym" when I passed Matt and Rian in the front room
"Wait" said Rian and I turned to face him "I'll come with you"
He showed me his blinding smile and together we left the bus.

As we started our walk he said to me "What are you doing?"
"I don't know what you mean" I said uncertainly
"Why are you isolating yourself?" asked Rian
"I'm not"
"Zack" Rian said in a warning tone
"I just . . . don't want to get hurt" I said eventually
"Hurt by what?" asked Rian
"When Jack rejects me" I said quietly "But don't worry. I'll be back soon"

Rian stopped walking and I stopped as well.
"What do you mean?" asked Rian "You can't just assume how Jack will react. What have you done?" his voice rose as he got angrier.
"Because Jack doesn't want this" I said calmly "Jack doesn't want a man in his life, he wants a woman"
My phone chose that moment to ring loudly from my pocket and Rian grabbed it from my hand as soon as I pulled it out.

"John" he scoffed "How could you do this?"
He sounded so confused but so was I. Why was he so upset?
"I don't want to be alone" I grabbed my phone back from Rian "I don't know why you're so upset"

Rian just stared at me, mixed emotions all over his face.
"How could you not notice?" he whispered before turning and walking back towards the bus. Leaving me confused.

My phone rang again and I answered on the first ring
"Hey"
"Hey Zack" said John "Is this a bad time?"
"No, what's up?"
"We're in the same city. Wanna catch up?"
I paused for a moment. This was the perfect distraction.
"Sure. Where?"
"How about Taco Bell?"

#

I met John at Taco Bell fifteen minutes later.
"Zack!" he called when he spotted me. He hugged me tightly and I wrapped my arms around his skinny waist. Don't think of Jack. Don't think of Jack.
"Hey John" I whispered "How are you?"
He pulled back and smiled brightly at me "I'm great thanks Zack" he said "and how are you?"
"Better now that you're here" I said cheesily and he laughed loudly. Getting strange looks from other customers in the store.

Don't think of Jack. Don't think of Jack.

We sat down in a booth as far from the exit as we could with our food and talked. Just small talk mainly. And it was going really well. I didn't think of Jack once.

Until Jack and Alex walked in.

I physically froze and almost chocked on my mouthful. John laughed at me good-naturedly as I tried to clear my throat by downing almost half of my drink in one go.
"Are you ok?" he asked and I nodded, putting my drink back down and resting my hands on the table in front of me. Suddenly not very hungry. I glanced up at Jack and Alex. They hadn't spotted me yet.

John put one of his hands on top of mine and I looked up at him
"Good" he said "Want to get out of here?"
I nodded eagerly, standing up and putting our rubbish in the bin. John grabbed my hand again and we walked out of the store together.

Neither or us saw the sad look that Jack gave us.