These Days

I woke up when I heard a door slam and my eyes flicked open and were met with Jack's who were slightly wide. He never wakes up before me!

It was then that I noticed that I was holding in somewhat of a death grip and he was probably struggling to breathe so I let him go and immeadiately he scampered out of the bed and locked himself i the bathroom. What had I done? I didn't have morning wood so I didn't freak him out that way . . . . make I said something in my sleep? Yeah. That must be it. I'll talk to him about it later.

I climber out of bed and got dressed as slowly as I could, I wanted to make sure that jack was ok before I went down for breakfast.

An hour later and Jack was still in the bathroom so I knocked on the door
"Jack?" I called
"Go away!" he screamed from the other side of the door. what was up with him? Maybe Alex knew.

I left our room and headed to Rian and Alex's and knocked on the door.
"Morning" Rian answered, coffee cup in hand "Whats up?"
I shrugged, if you haven't noticed I'm not really good at small talk
"Is Alex here?" I asked and Rian looked mock offended
"I see how it is" he frowned and I shoved his shoulder "Yeah" said Rian with a blinding smile

Alex walked out of the bathroom and was zipping up his pants when he saw Zack
"Morning Lover Boy" he said with a wink. Ok what the hell was going on?
I frowned "Morning"
Alex noticed my frown "What's up?"
I shrugged again "Jack flipping his shit in our room" I said "Go and help him"

"And why can't you?" asked Alex crossing his arms over his chest
"You're his best friend" I said "and when I offered to help him he sceamed at me"
Alex and Rian shared a look before Alex nodded "Fine" he said before grabbing his phone and leaving the room.

Rian gave a sympathetic look "I never want to share a room with Zack"
I just smiled at him before making myself comfortable n his couch "It's probably seperation anxiety from not seeing Alex" I said softly, there was no need for me to be loud with Rian, he always seemed to have supernatural hearing.

Rian shoved my legs off the couch and sat next to me
"What's really going on?" he asked
I just looked at him questingly. I couldn't give anything away. Rian couldn't know about my feelings. No one could know. I was doing such a good job of hiding it!

"Zack" said Rian "There's something going on man, why can't you tell me?"
I saw the honesty and concern in his eyes and cracked. Putting my face into my hands and shaking my head. Rian put a hand on my back "Come on man, you know I won't tell anyone if you dont want me to"
I looked up at him. At least it was Rian that figured it out and not Alex or Flyzik or Danny or anyone really. Anyone else would have told everyone and started an intervention.

I took a deep breath "I may or may not have feelings for Jack" I said as softly as I could and looked away from Rian. He was going to be disgusted with me. Who wants to be in a band with a gay guy? especially a gay guy who is in love with one of his best friends. Rian would never want to see me again. I felt a tear slip down my cheek as I stood up and ran from the room.

I couldn't be around anyone anymore.