Science & Faith

The next few days were some of the most stressful days of my life. Sid hadn't been able to leave bed without complaining about a headache or feeling too dizzy. He couldn't eat much and I tried to be there for him as much as I could when work allowed it.

It had been a week since the hit during the Tampa Bay game. Meetings and appointments and started piling up and I continued to arrive home later and later each night.

On this particular night I finally got through the front door at eight o clock. After today, I had a few days off and then a very light work schedule. I dropped my purse down on the floor and sat down on the chair in the living room. It was nice to finally be able to relax.

I didn't notice Sidney until he sat up from the couch. He must have fallen asleep and I had accidently woken him up; he was wrapped up in several blankets and held his head in one hand. "I'm sorry Sid. I didn't know you were down here." I sat up a little straighter.

"Obviously." His tone surprised me. His voice was full of anger and frustration.

"Excuse me?" If he got to talk to me like that I had every right to be sassy back.

"I just need some sleep. I can't get any with you in bed every night." The second part of that was quieter. I couldn't believe he had just said.

"Well I'm sorry for being such a burden." I snatched my purse off the ground and walked to our bedroom. Sid followed me.

"I didn't mean it like that. I just need time to refocus and I do that best alone." He stood in the doorway as I paced across the room.

"I was trying to help you! You can't go through this alone Sid! You have to talk to someone!"

"I don't need to talk about it. I don't need to talk to anyone about it."

"But I need someone to talk to!" My voice softened. "I needed you this week. After the baby... I just needed someone to talk to." I looked at him. Sid kept his eyes on the floor.

"There’s other things to worry about." He said. "It can't always be about you."

It was like everything hit me like a ton of bricks. "I'm not being selfish! I've tried to talk to Greta, but so you know how hard it is to tell her how much I'm hurting from losing a child while she's expecting one? It doesn't work! I needed you." I looked back at him and he finally met my gaze.

"Maybe I didn't need you." That threw me over the edge. I stormed into the closet and threw as many clothes as I could into a suitcase. "What are you doing?"

"Packing." I only grabbed what I would need for about a week.

"I see that, but why are you leaving?" I didn't answer and just continued. I grabbed the suitcase and my purse and headed down the stairs. With my car keys in one hand I did something I never thought I could.

"I’m done waiting around for you. Call me when you 'need' me."

I left.