The World is Ugly, But You're Beautiful To Me.

They were all back stage getting ready to preform for what would be their last time as a band. Gerard muffled his now once again jet black hair, his greys hidden by the fresh dye that surrounds his natural color, not putting on any eyeliner as he had grown out of it long ago. Leaning against the mirror he took deep breaths in and out. This last show wasn't going to be like an ordinary last show and that's what made Gerard even more nervous.. He was going to reveal something to the world that had been hidden for years at this concert, no one knew not even his own brother knew this. Not even his wife Lindsey knew what he was about to confess and he knew it would break her heart to bits but he needed to get it out. This was the secret that was eating Gerard from the inside out for years, why he cried himself to sleep every night Lindsey wasn't home.

He did pretty well at keeping it a secret from everyone that he knew, but the fans. The fans knew, at least they assumed. They figured it out by the little glances he would steal at him during interviews, the tattoos of the birds symbolizing them on the other man's now mostly inked stomach, every time he kissed or groped him on stage, how the other man would share his skeleton gloves with him, the lyrics in songs, even how he looked at him they'd comment about and he'd always deny it. He had to for the sake of the band and his family and Frank had to as well. He had to hide everything and it's going to be worse for him when they reveal it because he has three kids for godsakes!

Gerard ran his hand through his hair, dying for a cigarette for the first time in the 6 years he quit. He regretted it. No not quitting smoking of course but giving Frank up. Giving up HIS Frankie. Why did they have to fight and lose everything they had? And when they did eventually make up Gerard had a girlfriend that he fell in love with and later married and Frank did as well. Only after Frank married did he realize he wanted Gerard, but by then it was too late he had moved on, or so he had said.

Deep down inside, Gerard still loved Frank but he tried to convince himself mentally they were over, done with forever. Just friends. They were obviously much more than that though, more like broken up soul mates who took the wrong path Gerard once thought but quickly shook that out of his mind. Of course he loved his wife, Lindsey, he wouldn't have married her if he didn't love her but their love wasn't the same, they didn't share the same passion he and Frank had.

All of sudden their was a knock on the door, Gerard turned his head and shouted "Come in." and there in the doorway was none other than Frank Iero. He strode over to Frank and smiled down at the smaller man, "You ready?" Frank asked, intertwining their fingers. Gerard took a deep breath and sighed, "Yeah, I guess Frankie."

Frank frowned, "Are you sure? You don't seem certain."

"Yeah, I'm just nervous about whats gonna happen, like what if Lindsey hates me and won't let me see Bandit anymore? Then what?" Gerard asked worriedly.

"She can't do that! Plus she can't blame you for who you fell in more love with, it's not like we're leaving them for each other that would be stupid. They'll understand, trust me Gee." Frank comforted

"I guess, let's go get it over with and hope we don't regret it." Gerard agreed.

Frank rested his head on Gerard's shoulder as they started to walk down the hall hand in hand, the chants of the crowd getting louder with each step they took. They were both terribly nervous and by the time they approached the rest of the band, their hearts were beating out of their chests. They didn't care who saw, it was going to be out in the open soon anyways plus the other band mates just assumed it was because it was the last show and they always do this so they thought nothing of it.

A techie approached Frank and handed him his guitar and quickly slug it over his shoulder, going back to the position he was in.

"You ready Frankie?" Gerard asked as they walked slowly toward the darkened stage.

He took a deep shaky breath and nodded, "Let's do this."

They walked out on the stage and separated from each other to their place on the stage, Gerard giving a Frank a quick kiss on the cheek before parting ways. No one could see it in the darkness though, not like they cared if anyone saw anyways.

Frank listened to chants of the crowd as he got positioned to start playing. He ran his hand, that was covered by his Skeleton glove, over the frets and strings of his favorite electric guitar, Pansy. He thought it would only be a appropriate to play Pansy at their last show, she held so many memories of all their concerts back in the day, also personal ones like the day Gerard first kissed Frank.

Frank was on stage, sitting on one of the amps playing Pansy and Gerard came over and sat down next to him. He remembers how Gerard put his hand on his back and hummed along as he played the tune of 'Demolition Lovers'. As he the song came to a finish he looked at me and told me he wanted to tell me something. Frank remembers bugging him to spit out what he wanted to say because he was hesitant about telling Frank and stuttered out bits and pieces of it. Gerard finally looked him in the eyes and cupped his cheek, moving his thumb back and forth across it. Then he leaned in and caught Frank's lips with a kiss, Gerard tried to pull back at first, thinking he was stupid for doing that but was stopped by Frank's hand on the back of his head pulling him in. Pansy was squished between them, making it very uncomfortable but they were too lost in the kiss to care.

That was then though, now is now. Frank shook his head as he left his thoughts and started to play the intro for 'I'm not Okay' the song that began the my chemical romance explosion and made them more known to many.

***********

The whole band played perfectly through each song giving everything they had into this performance, this had to be an unforgettable one, perfect, it certainly was going to be even without the show. Gerard's voice was amazing, the best he had ever preformed yet there was still a pain in his voice that many people did not notice but Frank heard it loud and clear. Gerard was scared shitless and honestly Frank was as well but he was better at hiding the terrified emotion that filled him as he played, not missing note.

"Okay uh this is unplanned but before we end the show tonight we need to tell you all something very important." Gerard said awkwardly into the microphone. The guys glanced at him confused as he fidgeted under the audience's glare, all attention was on him.

Frank walked slowly up next to Gerard, both visibly shaking. Frank set his guitar down onto the stage floor and took a long deep breath, "Come on Gerard." Frank whispered nudging him with his elbow. Gerard shook his head as if he had just been pulled out of some sort of trance and gave the other man a sad smile.

"Oh uh w-w-well a lot of you guys might have already suspected this from long ago." Gerard started, terrified. You'd think he wouldn't have stage fright from the years of embarrassing himself on stage, prancing around with all his boas and what not but at this moment everything seemed to be unreal. Gerard couldn't even say anything more he was taken over by fright so he handed the mic to Frank who was just as terrified but kept himself calm and collected when he spoke, "As Gerard was saying, you m-might have suspected this for quite a while now, some people believed it and some people did not saying it was stupid to ever think that but we're here to tell you it's-" Frank paused for a second before letting out a shaky breath, "It's true. Me and Gerard. Frerard, I think you all called it?"

The whole crowd gasped and instant chatter filled the room there were so many different reactions, one girl screamed 'Frerard exists!' while others kept to themselves and stared up at us both in awe.

"L-let us explain though." Gerard said surprising me by coming out of his frozen state. "I'm not going to go too into detail but it all started back in '04, I had a crush on Frank for 5 months before I got up the nerve to kiss him and tell him how I felt," the whole crowd let out aw's at this and a small smile spread across Gerard's face "Once i told him, he felt the same and we were together for quite a while until '06 when we got into a fight and split but we both still had feeling for each other but we ignored them for quite a while until '07 when we both confessed we still loved each other even though I was engaged to be married at the time to the most beautiful woman on the planet, that I loved- love very much." Gerard turned around to see if his wife was there and she was, Lindsey had the most hurt look on her face but nodded for him to continue with his speech. Frank's wife was nowhere in sight but Frank knew she was there, she was probably hurt the most by this and Frank needed to do some talking now.

He grabbed the microphone from Gerard's hand and continued for him "When we say we love our wives we really do with ever fiber of our being but we both need to be honest here, Gerard and I have a stronger love. The fact that we broke up long ago and we still have feeling for each other is rare but you can't help who you fall in love with right?," Frank turned around to see Jamia approaching from behind Lindsey on the side of the stage, out of the crowd's view. He face was tear stained and it instantly made Frank feel like the most horrible person in the world but he needed to continue, he had already done was has been done and if he stops now the chance of Jamia hating him would be 10x worse. It would be the same for Gerard as well if they give up now, "When we married them, we were fully in love with them and we still are heck, I'm not lying when we say we would give our lives for them the thing is it's hard to explain how love works ya know? When we married them, we didn't realize our love for each other was still there because it was pushed so far in the back of our mind we didn't even think about it. Now after 07' we would kiss on stage more often telling people it was just to scare off the homophobes but honestly? It was just an excuse so we could kiss whenever we wanted to and not get called out for it. We finally stopped the kissing once we realized the fans were catching on and we felt bad about how we technically cheated on our wives so we masked the emotions once again. Overtime, we started to break." Frank glanced over at Gerard from the side of his eye he knew this hit him the hardest.

That was when a single tear slid down Gerard's cheek. He did not sob, he did not whine it was just one tear that Frank could tell that Gerard was about to leave the stage and sob to himself. Frank shot him a loving look and intertwined his fingers with his, "When Gerard got married was when I really broke down, I couldn't bear to watch him get married to another woman so I left before I could even get a glimpse of them and hid in the venue bathroom where Ray eventually found me in tears then as time progressed it got worse but I hid the emotion until I was alone and I could cry myself until there were no tears left to cry. No, I did not harm myself psychically in anyway but i did harm myself on the inside by keeping this secret locked up in my heart. I got really depressed and turned to getting drunk off my ass every night to stop the sadness that was over taking my mind then I realized how I was treating myself. I stopped the drinking but I was still extremely upset and everyday I would always feel like bursting into tears." Frank swallowed the lump in his throat and passed the mic to Gerard who was just staring mindlessly into the crowd.

"I was just as upset but I didn't go back to getting drunk off my ass or drugs, I just was quiet. I was too sad to do anything. The guys realized the sudden change in my attitude and asked me what was wrong but I just made up a white little lie to get them off my back about it. I was trying to convince myself mentally that I had no more feelings for Frank what so ever so I married and pushed it all to the back of my mind even when it kept pushing to get to the front and I kept pushing back the thoughts and I became depressed, I couldn't smile as much as I used to genuinely, they were mostly forced but I dealt with it." Gerard explained. The whole crowd was watching us with tears in their eyes as Gerard passed the microphone back to Frank.

"Now we're here, we agreed to tell you all about a week ago when Gerard came to visit me, he told me he couldn't hold in the secret any longer because it was eating him alive and honestly, it was for me to. No, we are not going to live happily ever after after telling you all this, most likely things will be even worse than ever before. We do not plan to leave our wives for each other, no that would be selfish. We just wanted you all to know before we leave this stage for the very last time, we felt that people needed to know we couldn't lie to everyone anymore we couldn't lie to ourselves. Gerard and I are still in love but things are different now and we can't be." Frank finished holding back the tears that were threatening to leave his eyes.

Gerard, on the other hand had tears running down his cheeks and looked as if he was holding back sobs. The audience was silent for a moment then all of a sudden started to cheer, it felt as if a giant weight was being lifted off their shoulders at that moment. The crowd understood the courage it took for them to get up there and announce that secret to not just the people in the venue but the entire world, even if they had been preforming for many years now that was most likely the most nerve wracking experience of their life. Frank looked over at Gerard who was staring right back at him and gave him a small sad smile. Their hands were still together and Gerard gave his hand a small squeeze before pulling him into a hug and kissing him on the forehead.

That night, they left the stage with small smiles on their faces, not big but they were satisfied. They knew what was coming next was going to fuck up their lives big time but letting that out made them feel as if they were on on top of the world. There was no longer any secret that was killing them from the inside they were free. Maybe not free to be together but now the feelings they were feeling didn't feel as bottled up. They may not know what lies ahead for them but they do know one thing for sure; the love they share will never fade it will always be there even in the worst of times.