I Hate Everything About You

I woke the next morning very early, having slept almost thirteen hours straight. It was restful, but those dreams kept coming back.

The thing that bothered me the most about these dreams – they were all stupid things Harry had done. Honestly, everything he’d done to me was stupid. I was never physically harmed from him, except the one time that I hid in the tree so he wouldn’t see me and I fell out, spraining my ankle. But that wasn’t his fault, it was mine for climbing up the tree.

The clock on my bedside table read 6:07, which was two hours earlier than I normally woke. I tried to go back to sleep, but once I was awake I was normally awake for good.
So I flipped open my laptop and typed ‘Harry Styles’ into Google.

The results were lengthy, mostly about him and his band One Direction. I hadn’t really been surprised when he hit superstardom; he’d always been one of the most popular guys in school, not only good with sports but singing also. He performed at almost every single one of the talent shows I could remember, and they even had him perform at one of the school dances, much to my dismay.

And like I said, no one but the kids knew he was such a bully to me. The thing that bothered me most about him, though, was that it was only me. It was always only me. And I could never remember one thing I did to that boy that would make him want to make my life hell every day.
I clicked to the images tab and wished I didn’t - pictures of his imperfectly flawless skin were splattered across my computer screen, his green eyes lit up with a different emotion in each picture. Some pictures he showed off his straight white teeth, others his defined pink lips took center stage.

I groaned loudly, shutting my laptop very quickly and almost immediately opening it just to make sure it was okay.

Lying in bed for another few minutes, I reached over to my phone and realized I hadn’t checked it since I got home from school yesterday.

Eight new text messages were waiting for me, all from Hannah, my best friend from back home. Other than my mom, she was the only one who knew about everything that happened with Harry; the only one I trusted enough to confide in.



I’m imagining that she called my mom who told her I was upstairs sleeping, therefore she stopped her texts.

I responded with a quick Harry’s back before locking my phone and making my way to the bathroom to shower. She slept in much later than me, not having to be at school until 10 while the rest of us losers have to be there at an ungodly hour, so she’d most likely not respond for a few hours.

I took my time in the shower, mostly just letting the hot water run over my skin, relaxing me for the day ahead of me. I assumed that it’d be the same as it was every day in middle school, especially because of what happened yesterday. Harry used to always get angrier when I ‘insulted’ him, even though nine times out of ten it wasn’t an insult, just something Harry didn’t like being told.

The main ‘insult to him was being told no, which was what had been said yesterday.
“You’re awake already?” My mom asked as I trotted down the stairs, all dressed and just needing to do my makeup.

“Unfortunately.” I shrugged. “But I guess that’s what happens when you sleep for thirteen hours.”
“You want me to make you some breakfast?” Her head was already in the refrigerator, pulling out bacon and eggs. The answer would always be yes, and she knew that.

“Just not too much, I’m controlling my portions.” I rolled my eyes at the last part. It’d been my idea to go on a diet, I felt like I needed to lose some weight even though my parents disagreed, but they supported me and helped me do what I needed to do to satisfy my hunger for weight loss.

She scrambled up a couple of eggs, putting some ham in for protein and low-fat shredded cheese because it was my favorite, and fried a couple pieces of bacon. I turned on the radio, and we sung along to the 80’s channel while she cooked.

“Well good morning to you, too.” My younger brother Ryan called as he walked by, grabbing a bowl for cereal. My mom offered him some eggs and ham but he refused, swearing by his cereal. It was all he’d eat for breakfast, had been since he was 10. No one understood, that’s just how he was.

“Oh Natalie,” My mom said, pouring a glass of orange juice. “We’re all going to dinner tonight, so make sure you don’t make any plans, okay?”

“No problem,” I replied with a smile, downing the rest of my orange juice and making my way
back upstairs. I flicked on my radio and started to apply my makeup, looking at myself in the mirror with disgust.



I shook my head, trying to shake the memory out with it. I brushed my teeth and curled my hair a little, just enough so it would be wavy.

“Lacey’s here!” I heard being called up the steps, followed by thumping up the stairs. Lacey burst through my door seconds later, fully dressed and ready to go to school.

“Well I guess it’s a good thing I wasn’t changing...” I shrugged, walking away from the mirror and plopping on my bed, turning down the radio.

“You ready to go to school?” She asked, bouncing up and down on the bed next to me.

“No, can I just go back to sleep?” I asked, although even if she said yes I probably wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep.

“No, you silly goose!” She jumped up, getting ready to walk out the door.

“Fine,” I grumbled, throwing my backpack over my shoulder and following her out.

‘Make today a good day,’ I thought to myself. a good day,

It was only the second day of school but I was catching on quickly. I only got lost once, trying to find the one class in the very back of the school. I ended up having my fourth period and seventh period with Lacey, so I found that to be helpful.

The only time I saw harry was at lunch, but luckily I avoided him and he didn’t see me.

“What are you doing?” Gage asked, laughing lightly as I ducked behind Lacey, being what I thought was inconspicuous.

“Oh, nothing.” I laughed along, straightening up and sparking a conversation with Gage. It was strange how easy it was to talk to him, like I’d known him for more than a day and a half.

“Hey I have a question for you.” He said, after he had taken a bite of his home made sandwich.

“Hmm?” I urged him to continue.

“You wanna go out tonight?” He paused nervously. “I mean, so I could show you around and stuff, you know, the cool hangouts and whatnot.”

He then proceeded to bite off almost half of what remained of his sandwich, apparently to shut himself up. I giggled to myself and was about to wholeheartedly agree when I remembered that my mom said not to make any plans. He saw the look that flashed across my face and frowned
briefly.

“My mom said that tonight we have to go out ‘as a family’.” I put the last part around finger-made quotation marks and topped it off with a dramatic eye roll. “I really don’t want to go, but I can’t ditch my mom. She’d kill me.”

“That’s okay,” He looked down at his plate looking kind of dejected.

“But, I should be free every other night for the rest of my life!” I laughed once, and his head lifted hopefully. “Wanna show me around tomorrow night?”

“Sure,” He smiled, sipping his vitamin water. “Tomorrow night,”


The rest of the day dragged. I wanted tonight to be over with and tomorrow to go by quickly so I could go out and have fun with Gage after school. He seemed like a really cool person to be around, and I was really looking forward to spending some time with him and get to know him more.

I looked up from my dinner plate, a light salad with a the smallest amount of balsamic vinaigrette dressing I’ve ever used on top, to look at my dad as he spoke, trying to shove thoughts about tomorrow out of my head so I could concentrate.

“Hey,” Ryan whispered. “Don’t look now, but there’s a guy over there that keeps looking at you.”
I resisted the urge to turn my head at the speed of light and took another tiny bite of the tasteless salad in front of me after nodding at my brother.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” I informed my family.

“Okay, don’t get lost.” James chuckled, being the annoying ass he always is.

“Thanks,” I smirked, standing up and spinning around, my dress swirling around just above my knees.

As soon as I stood I wanted to sit back down.
Harry Styles, of all people, was in the corner booth, right in my brother’s line of sight. He was there with an older woman who I was assuming was his mother, and he just smiled at me when he saw me look in his direction. I grimaced, but decided against just sitting back down and receiving questioning looks from my whole family.

I made my way to the bathrooms, having to walk past Harry to get there. My heels echoed against the tile loudly, and if it hadn’t been for the soft music playing overhead and the loud dishes clinking in the background it’d had been amplified by a million.

I ignored his gaze as I strolled by, grasping the sink once the door in the bathroom shut. I groaned out loud when I realized the bathroom had more than one stall so I wouldn’t be alone if anyone decided to walk in. I didn’t even need to pee, I just didn’t want to look like an idiot and sit back down once I saw that it was the actual devil staring a hole through the back of my head.

I sat there and stared at myself for a minute, fixing the smudged eyeliner under my eye and twirling curls around my finger to try to make them more curly and less wavy. I stood there for another minute or two and washed my hands for no reason, drying them completely before I sighed deeply and threw open the door.

Just as the door was closing behind me and I started to walk out of the bathroom’s hallway, my foot slipped from underneath me, my smooth heel finding something wet and sliding against it. I fell back immediately, only to fall into a pair of strong arms.

I sighed, taking in the stranger’s smell at the same time. It was an extremely good smell, a scent that I can’t even begin to describe.

“You alright, Natalie?” All the good thoughts I had were thrown out of my head, replaced with thoughts of how much I loathed the person holding me against his rock hard stomach. I looked up at him with utter disgust on my face, and fought to stand up straight. He understood what I was trying to do and obliged, letting me stand up on my own.

Even with my 4 inch heels on he was still a couple inches taller than me. A small smile pulled his lips up and his dimples deepened.

“Why are you over here?” I demanded, turning on my still wet heel and trying to walk away. He grabbed my elbow lightly and spun me back around, my previous effort to walk away unnecessary.

“I had to use the bathroom.” He explained before I could rip my elbow from his grasp. When I did he didn’t protest, he just took a step back and looked at his shoes. “I’m sorry.”

Then he pushed past me lightly and took his spot opposite his mother.

I was left thinking what he apologized for. For grabbing my arm? For being in the right place at the right time to catch me from falling on my ass?

Or for everything?



I awoke suddenly, my shoulder being shaken by Ryan, a slight smirk on his face. I was in my bed, my covers thrown off me and a bead of sweat rolling down my cheek.

“What was that all about?” He asked.

“What?” I asked, feigning innocence.

“Whatever, go back to sleep. It's late." I didn't even think to question why he woke me up just to tell me to go back to sleep but i can say i was glad he did.

These dreams needed to stop.