I Hate Everything About You

The week seemed to speed by, and all I could think about was the party. I hadn’t been to a good party in what seemed like ages, and by the way the whole school was buzzing in anticipation I imagined it’d be good.

After a day of shopping at the mall with Lacey, we locked ourselves in my room to prepare. Curling irons were heating up, straighteners running on full blast. My dresser was cleared of pictures and abandoned schoolwork to be replaced with what seemed like a million different shades of eye shadow, a few different eyeliners, tubes of lip gloss, cover up and foundation, and a bunch of different brands of mascara.

We’d bought the clothes we would wear tonight - having already decided, with the help of many, many friends from school, what we should dress in.

“We are going to look so hot tonight,” Lacey commented, throwing our bags gently on my bed and pulling up my desk chair. The hair products were lying all over my desk, directly in front of the mirror just begging to be used.

“Whatever you say,” I laughed, plugging my phone into its dock and blaring the music.

Two hours later it was seven thirty; my hair was curled and hers was braided into a gorgeous messy fishtail, both satisfied by our makeup. I picked my dress of the bed and slipped it on, careful not to mess up my hair. I handed Lacey her dress and she put hers on just as carefully.

Our shoes were last, and we were ready to go. Our anticipation had been building higher and higher by each second, and we were more than ready to be at the party. My mom was wary of letting me go to the party, but soon enough Lacey and I convinced her we wouldn’t drink and we’d be more than careful, so she agreed.

We’d at first planned to ride with Gage to Harry’s house, but he then told us that he wasn’t able to come get us because he had to help set up for the party since he was helping plan it.

I had sighed at the information and wondered how we’d get there when James popped in and announced he had been invited to the party of the year, trying to make us jealous.

“So are we.” I laughed. He shook his head, frowning.

“Can’t have nothing around here, can i?”

“We can ride with you, right? We’ll leave you alone as soon as we get there; we just need a ride there.” I explained before he had the chance to say no.

“I guess, as long as you don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to –”

“Nope! Nope, we won’t!” I cut him off, really not wanting him to go into detail about why he was going to this party.

He then gave me a lengthy lecture about not doing anything he wouldn’t do, but then he changed it to nothing that I wouldn’t want mom to know about, since he’d probably doing exactly what he was telling me not to do at the party.

I had laughed but agreed wholeheartedly. “Don’t worry about it,” I had said.

Now we were jumping into his jeep after checking ourselves in the mirrors one last time, Ryan sitting in his room pouting because my mom refused to let him go.

We stopped at a gas station on the way so Lacey and I could get some energy drinks and a water bottle we’d keep in James’ car, since I was almost sure they’d have nothing but alcohol provided at the party.

We followed the directions that Gage had provided and the party was already starting to build and it was just now reaching nine. We had to park a fair distance away, James racing ahead of us as Lacey and I lagged behind, slowed down by the tall heels on our feet.

“Well you shouldn’t have worn those damn things if they hurt you enough so you can’t walk,” He exclaimed, turning around and glaring at me when I protested his speed.

“But they make my butt look good!” Lacey smirked, turning slightly so her butt was in his line of sight. He obviously checked her out and raised his eyebrows, smirking back at her.

“Point proven.” He turned around and kept walking the same speed while I pretended to puke up the small snack I’d eaten before we left.

Lacey just laughed, wringing her arm through mine and speeding up her walk so we were only a few paces behind James. We rounded a corner and the huge house came into view, packed from left to right with people. I imagined the drinks were inside, as was the person I wanted to see.

“Come on, Lace!” I giggled, bouncing with anticipation as we walked quicker to the front door. It swung open before we reached it, and a couple of football players bounded out, throwing an unknown object between the two of them. They laughed boisterously, a couple girls chasing after them, their dresses riding up high but neither of them caring. I assumed they’d already downed a few drinks as I pulled Lacey past the sight and into the house.

It was louder inside, the bass pumping through the speakers that I could see stationed at every corner of the room. The couches had been pushed all the way to the walls, creating a makeshift dance floor where people were already crowded, grinding on one another.

“You want to go get a drink?” I turned around to ask James, who was no longer behind us. I laughed loudly, hardly being able to hear my own voice.

“Guess he did,” Lacey shrugged, laughing along. “Let’s explore!”

She pulled me through the crowd, navigating through the house like she already knew where to go. We somehow ended up in the backyard, the pool already occupied by many, a couple smashed against the wall making out fiercely, and a few more jocks doing cannonballs in the deep end. The music still pounded out here, although I could hear much better out here. It was also a lot less stuffy out here than inside where the bodies were packed tight.
I felt a light tap on my shoulder and turned around quickly, my face lighting up when I found it was Gage.

“Hey!” He smiled back widely, obviously ecstatic that I had showed up. He pulled me into a bear hug and I wrapped my arms around his waist to return it. “Hey, Lacey!” He pulled her into a hug also, a little less enthusiastic but a bear hug all the same.

“You guys wanna get some drinks?” He offered, pointing inside. I held up my can of Monster and he grinned, nodding slightly.

“Mom home?” He laughed, understanding immediately.

“Yep, no drinking or I’m dead!” I giggled along with him, the Monster’s caffeine giving me a buzz of its own.

“Okay, well you wanna go dance!?” He asked, hope ringing in his voice.

“Of course!” He held his hand out and I gladly took it, lacing my fingers through his. He led me back into the house and onto the dance floor, where he pulled me in front of him and situated himself behind me. I backed up into him so my butt was grinding on his crotch, and my head leaned back onto his collar bone.

“I’m terrible at dancing!” I warned him, my lips brushing his jaw slightly and unintentionally. He chucked down at me, his hands slipping down to cover my hip bones. His big hands swayed my hips back and forth, guiding them against his own.

“You’re doing just fine.” He whispered in my ear, his lips touching the soft spot just under my ear.

I smiled at the gesture and focused on moving my hips in a seductive manner to the beat. I knew I was doing it right when I felt something pressing against my butt, and I just smirked and wrapped my arms around his neck, tugging on the little hairs at the base of his head.

He moaned out softly, quiet enough that he probably thought I didn’t hear.

The music morphed into another fast paced dance song as I spun around so I was facing Gage, my arms still wrapped around his neck. One of his arms slipped down and rested on my ass, pulling me closer to him as he leant down and placed a soft kiss to my collar bone. I could smell that he had been drinking, but not so much that it was evident.

I giggled slightly, before turning back around so I was grinding in front of him again. His arms found their way back to my hips, guiding them like he was before. My arms twisted back up around his neck, my fingertips brushing along his strong jawline as I did so.

I looked up from watching my feet to scan the room, something I had always done at parties.

As soon as I looked up I wished it hadn’t become such a habit. I locked eyes with Harry, who was sitting on the couch directly in front of us with a red cup in his hand. He was sitting back against the couch, his left foot propped up on his right knee with one arm stretched out along the back of the couch and the other on the armrest. His eyes held such intensity that I wasn’t concentrated on the amazing boy behind me, just the gorgeous green eyes that I couldn’t seem to look away from.
He didn’t necessarily look angry, more like he just saw something that made him feel sick. Maybe he’d drunk too much beer already.

Lacey then stumbled into my line of view, breaking our eye contact and plopping down next to Harry. She sat closer to him than normal; her dress riding up slightly as she crossed her legs in what she thought was a seductive manner as she looked at him. He shook his head slightly as he said something to her, getting up and walking towards the stairs.

Gage hadn’t even noticed that I wasn’t paying him any attention; he was still just swaying my hips back and forth, and moving along to the music. My arms hung loosely at my sides, my urge to dance completely gone.

“I’m gonna go get something to drink,” I called to him. He stepped back slightly and nodded, ready to follow me. I put my hand on his chest and held him there. “Dance with one of those lonely girls,” I gestured towards the couch with a group of girls by themselves with drinks in their hands.

“I’m sure they’d love it.” I smirked.

He just laughed and walked over to them boldly, holding out his hand to the tiny blonde in the center of the group, who took it willingly, and they disappeared into the crowd of people.

I found my way easily to the kitchen, dragging Lacey with me. I could smell the beer on her tongue and angrily asked her why she was drinking.

“I don’t know!” She slurred, laughing. “YOLO!” She screamed, throwing her hands up towards the ceiling and almost losing her balance. I shook my head and groaned, catching her before she could hit the ground.

“You need to get home,” I frowned, sitting her on one of the chairs surrounding the empty kitchen table. “My mom’s gonna kill me,” I ran a hand through my hair as I plopped down next to her.

“She can stay here if you want?” A deep voice called from behind me.

I whipped my head around and saw a distressed looking Harry, gesturing up the stairs. I followed his finger with my eyes and shook my head.

“I can’t leave her here alone.”

“You can just let her sleep it off until you’re ready to go.” He urged. I rolled my eyes but decided that he was right.

“I don’t want to sleep!” Lacey yelled, smirking up at Harry. “Unless it’s with you,”

He shook his head, laughing slightly. “Come on,” He held his hand out and she jumped up eagerly.

He began to walk away and I didn’t follow, trying to think my way out of this one.

“You coming?” He yelled. Lacey protested, pulling on his hand towards the stairs.

“Yeah, I better.” I groaned, getting up from the chair and following the two of them to an empty room. I assumed it was his from the clothes strewn across the floor and the various pictures of him and his friends plastered on the walls.

Not that I was looking that close.

“You coming?” She smiled up at him as she crawled into the bed. He laughed once.

“I’ll be back in a little while. Just rest until I come back, okay?” He patted her leg as she covered herself with the blanket I was sure smelled like him.

“You think she’ll be okay?” He asked, leaning closer than I’d have liked.

“She’ll be fine. She’s kind of a lightweight.” I laughed. I was trying to be friendly, I really was.

“Let’s leave her alone to sleep then,” He suggested, turning away as we already heard light snores over the pounding music.

“Harry!” A couple girls called as he walked out of the room, myself trailing behind him. They all gave me dirty looks and I just laughed. To think that what they thought had happened behind that door had actually happened….i laughed to myself a their stupid assumption.

“Hey,” He sang, his deep voice mesmerizing.

“We’re getting a bunch of people to play some games in the backyard. Want to join?” The brunette in the front asked, touching his forearm with her fingertips and smiling.

“Sure, why not?” He smiled his dazzling smile and followed them downstairs. He gestured for me to follow and for some reason I did, maybe curiosity?

But you know what they say…curiosity killed the cat.

“What’s your name?” A perky, rather tall, blonde asked me when I tried to walk by.

“Natalie?” I said it as a question, but she ignored the intonation in my voice and just wrote it down with the sharpie she was wielding before ripping it from the larger sheet and throwing it in someone’s upside down snapback. I frowned at the hat, briefly wondering what I had just gotten myself into. She threw Harry’s name into a snapback on her other side, and continued this until there was a circle of at least thirty people around her and the two hats. Music continued to run through the house, but like earlier it was much, much easier to concentrate out here and hear what was going on. I noticed Gage on the other side of the circle sandwiched between the girls he had asked to dance with earlier.

I had figured out what was happening as soon as I sat down, and I went to stand up before Harry pulled me back down. I glared at him – this was not going to be happening again…not when I was about to start to try to forgive him. He let go and held his hands up in front of him innocently. I sat back down and he leaned over to whisper in my ear.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way,” And his face was gone before I could whisper a reply.

“Okay, there’s a little pool house right there,” The girl pointed towards a cute building that looked big enough to house a car, maybe two.

“I’ll call the girl’s name first and then the guy’s.” She explained, digging her hand around in the first hat as if it was extremely deep. I rolled my eyes and then held my breath as she pulled out the first name.

“Sarah!” She exclaimed, throwing her hands into the air, a girl opposite me with her hair in a detailed messy bun threw her head back and laughed, standing up. She walked to the house and disappeared behind the door.

“Matt!” She called out next, and one of the jocks all but jumped up. His buddies all hooted and hollered, and he received a few slaps on the back before he jogged to the pool house and also disappeared inside. The blonde hosting the game had her iPhone out and was started the clock as soon as the door clicked shut.

Everyone began their own mumbled conversations as I sat there alone and checked my social sites. Before I could get all the way through my feed on instagram she jogged over to the door and whipped it open. Matt walked out first looking proud, then an embarrassed-looking Sarah, trying to smooth out her hair and fix the smudged lip gloss on her mouth.

There was another round of cat calls and wolf whistles as the two took their seats where they first sat down. Another couple was picked- I checked twitter. Another was picked – Facebook. Another – tumblr. I reblogged picture after picture as couple after couple was chosen.

I began to wonder why exactly I was even sitting in this circle when my heart all but stopped. I looked up from my phone and everyone laughed at the expression on my face.

“What?” I asked, my eyes wide.

“Your turn!” The peppy blonde called. She smiled widely and gestured for me to stand up. I locked my phone quickly and slid it in my top, standing up nervously.

I walked to the pool house and let myself in. The only light inside was coming from a small window towards the roof, and then there was a moon/sun window in the roof itself.

The bed that was pushed against the wall was completely torn apart, the blankets thrown carelessly about the floor and the pillows nowhere I could see. I leaned against the wall and crossed my arms, the back of my head resting on the wall as I closed my eyes.

I heard a bunch of claps and yells and knew the boy had been chosen. I hoped with all my heart it was Gage that would walk through the door in a few seconds. I didn’t know anyone else and I did not want to make out with some random stranger. My heartbeat sped up and my palms grew sweaty at the thought. It was a few seconds before the door opened and a tall silhouette walked through the threshold.

I knew who it was immediately, the big bush of hair on the top of his head giving him away as soon as i saw him. My stomach seemed to drop infinitely as I shrunk farther into the wall.

“We don’t have to do this, you know.” Harry commented, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “I’ll tell them we did. Just so it doesn’t look like we wimped out.”

I still couldn’t see his face, and I hoped he couldn’t see mine, because my face broke into a smile.

“Well we’ve got to make it believable, at least.” I finally answered, walking away from my position on the wall and taking tiny steps towards him.

“Like how?” He asked, not moving from his seat on the bed.

“Our hair needs to be pretty messed up,” I frowned, thinking of my curls that took so long to create.

“But your hair is so perfect.” He reached up and touched a strand, wrapping it around his finger before letting it fall back gently. A small smile stretched across my lips, but I had no idea why. I mentally scolded myself.

“Then you first.” I suggested, shrugging my shoulders.

“Go ahead.” He leaned back slightly, his weight being held up from his arms propped out behind him.

“What?” I asked, my eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

“Mess up my hair.” He demanded.

My mouth popped open slightly but I did what he said, running a hand through his curls. It was so soft, not rough and knotted like I had imagined it would be.

“You’re going to have to speed this up - we’re running out of minutes.” He spoke slowly like he normally does, his voice sounding even deeper and more seductive in the dark.

I nodded and brought my other hand to his hair, working my fingers deep into his locks. I tugged a little on it accidentally every now and then. It wasn’t knotted before, but it definitely was now.

Suddenly he reached forward and hooked his arms around my waist, pulling me down so I was straddling him on the bed. He grabbed the back of my neck and gave me enough time to stop what he was doing if I wanted to. He smirked when I said nothing and his lips met mine.

His fingers pulled on the long strands of hair at the base of my head, and my hands never left his hair. I kissed him back passionately; all the hate I had bottled up for him was being released in the form of a kiss, something I never thought would happen.

His hands travelled from my hair to my waist, as he leaned back on the bed and pulled me on top of him. My dress was riding up, but honestly that was the last thing I was worried about at the moment.

He moaned into my mouth as his hands roamed over my dress. I mentally cursed myself for not wearing a skirt and a shirt instead of the dress but got over it quickly when his hand started to travel up my thigh.

I broke away from the kiss only to attach my lips to his neck, the hollow spot just beneath his ear.

He pulled my hips closer to him, his fingers grasping my ass tightly as my dress bunched around my waist. It was a good thing Lacey convinced me to buy that new Victoria’s Secret lace underwear, because it was on full display right now.

He moaned my name loudly, a sound I never thought I’d hear in a million years. I grinded my hips against his, his jeans becoming tighter and tighter around him.

One of his hands found my hair again, tugging it backwards so I would stop sucking on his neck.

He kissed me intensely, rolling us over so he was hovering over me.

I reached up and pulled his white V-neck over his head, throwing it somewhere around the room. His hands had just found my breasts and he was beginning to pull my dress down when the door was swung open, a cool breeze flooding all around us. I almost screamed, forgetting that we were actually doing this for a game and that she would be coming in to stop us.

He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine once more, slipping his tongue inside my mouth before the annoying blonde girl shrieked for us to stop. He hovered over me, his forehead pressed to mine as he smiled.

“Does this mean we can start over?” He asked.

“I suppose I can’t really say no after that,” I giggled as I pulled my dress back down over my hips, trying to readjust myself so it wasn’t so embarrassing to walk back out to the circle.

Harry crawled off me slowly, kissing down my already re-clothed body until he got to my belly button, when he stood up and searched around the room for his shirt.

He found it after a minute of looking, and he walked out of the pool house first, pulling his shirt over his head as he walked out into the view of the rest of the partygoers.

More hoots and hollers sounded than any of the other couples – for good reason. None of the other couples came out with clothing off.

I gave up trying to fix my hair and pulled the hair tie off my wrist, flipping my hair over and tying it up in a ponytail.

Instead of sitting back down in the circle I made my way back inside to try to find some water.
Lacey was sitting at the counter with her head in her hands, James next to her rubbing soothing circles in her back. She was already feeling the effects of a hangover and it wasn’t even the next morning.

“Where have you been?” James asked pointedly once he saw me walk in, taking in my disheveled appearance. A good portion of people had left, and I realized that it was already past 1am. The music had been turned down so now it was just background noise.

“Doing things mom wouldn’t want me to do.” I shrugged, grabbing a bottle of water from the cooler sitting on the floor. James’ mouth dropped open but he had nothing to respond with. I made my way into the almost deserted living room and found an empty couch, stretching out on it and closing my eyes.