Meant to Be

"Pat, how do I look?" I didn't bother looking up.

"You look fine." I mumbled.

"Pat, you didn't even look. Do I look ok? Please man, I'm so nervous right now. Reassure me that I look fine." Jon said, anxiously.

I looked up, "Jon, you look great." I said, as I faked a smile. I placed my head between my knees and let out a deep breath. To be honest, I was not happy that my best friend was getting married. I know I should be, and it sounds selfish of me to say this, but I'm not happy. I wanted Jon all to myself, but I could never let anyone know.

"Pat?" Jon asked, taking a step towards me.

"Yea?" I lifted my head up to look at him. He looked so good in a tux.

"I'm scared." He said, shifting his weight between feet. I scootched over on the bench I was sitting on, and patted the open space beside me. He accepted my invitation, and sat down.

"I'm scared, too." I adverted my sight to a bouquet of flowers in the distance, but I could feel Jon staring at me.

"Why are you scared, Pat?" He asked, turning himself towards me.

"Well, why are you?" I asked, countering his question with a question of my own.

Jon sat there for a few moments, deep in thought. I did not take my eyes off of him, watching him think. I loved when he thought; he was so hot.

"I'm scared because... Well... I'm scared because I'm starting a new chapter in my life, you know? I'm scared because I don't know what the future holds. I mean, I'm ready for this, but like, I don't know. I just don't know, Pat." He took a breath. By then I had looked away. I felt like crying, and I didn't want Jon to see. "And..." I looked up at him. "I'm scared to lose you, Pat." I was speechless.

I quickly stood up, and rubbed the back of my neck. I looked at Jon, his eyes sincere. I couldn't handle it anymore, so I walked out of the room. I needed air, and to get away from Jon, so he didn't see me cry.

I paced back and forth down the hallway, trying to take in what Jon had just said to me. He was afraid to lose me? If anyone should be afraid to lose anyone, it should be me. I was scared to lose Jon, but I didn't know he was scared to lose me. I felt relieved, confused, happy, and angry, all at once. I was a mess, but I couldn't leave Jon alone in the prep room or whatever it was called, on his big day. I quickly caught my breath, and wiped the few tears that had rolled down my face off. I walked in to the room and found Jon still sitting on the bench.

"I'm sorry for walking out on you like that. I just needed a breather." I said to Jon, sitting down beside him.

"It's ok, man. I understand." He said, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"It's just... When you said you didn't want to lose me, it caught me off guard, because well... I don't want to lose you either, Jon." I tried holding back tears, but I felt a few slip out. Jon reached over, and wiped away my tears. He grabbed my head with both his hands, and placed his forehead on mine.

"Shh, shh." He soothed me, as I started to cry a bit. "Pat, look at me." I looked up, and our eyes met. "Pat, listen, your friendship means the world to me. I want you to know that, ok? I don't want my relationship with Maddy to ruin what we have. You're my best friend, Patty, I love you."

Jon and I had a few moments like this, but none that ended like this one did. After he spoke, he leaned in and kissed me on the lips. It was a moment that I had been waiting for since the day I met Jon. I was confused, but it felt so right; his lips against mine. What felt like minutes, was simply seconds before Jon pulled away. Still, he did not break eye contact with me.

"I love you, too, Jonny." I smiled at him. "Now I guess it's time for you to get married." I chuckled slightly, trying to sound enthused. But, I wasn't of course. I wasn't the one getting to marry Jon.

"Yea, I guess." He laughed as he walked over to grab his tie. "Hey Pat? Can you come here and do my tie up for me?"

"You still can't do up your own tie? I spent hours teaching you." I replied, walking over to him.

"No, I can. I just want you to do it for me." Jon said with a smirk. I grinned, grabbing a hold of his tie that he had slung around his neck, and started tying it. While I did so, I could feel Jon staring down at me, but I didn't bother to look up. After I finish, I stood there holding onto his tie, placing my right hand over his heart. I felt it skip a beat as he placed his hand over top of mine, giving it a slight squeeze. I looked up smiling, and met a smiling Jon.

"Awe! Look at the two lovers!" Came a voice from behind us. I spun around only to be greated by a smiling Patrick Sharp.

"Shut up Sharpie." I muttered, my mood suddenly dropping.

"Well it's time for Captain Serious to get married." Patrick stated, walking over to Jon, and slapping him on back. "I'm proud of you, Jon."

"Thanks Sharpie." Jon said, heading towards the door. "C'mon my best man." He placed an arm around my neck and we walked out the door.

~~~~

I hadn't paid much attention to the ceremony or anything because I was too deep in thought. I was still in shock from Jon kissing me earlier. I was in love with him, and he was in love with Maddy. Or so I had thought, until he kissed me. That's what started me thinking about Jon. Why did he kiss me? What did it mean? He's getting married... And he kissed me? I was so confused and angry, I mean, how could he do this to me?

What snapped me out of my thoughts was the pastor speaking. "If anyone has any objections as to why these two should not be wed, speak now, or forever hold your peace."

That's when I snapped. I couldn't hold my in feelings for Jon any longer.

"I do." I just barely squeaked out.

"Pardon me, son?" The pastor asked, turning to look at me. I felt everyone staring at me as the room fell silent.

"I said, 'I do'," I started, a lot louder than before. "Jon, cut the charade, man."

"What are you talking about, Pat?" Jon asked, his eyes darting around the room.

"You know what I'm talking about. You know exactly what I'm talking about." I shouted. I could feel Jon starting to get uncomfortable with the situation, but I wasn't stopping. "I thought you loved Maddy, but I guess I was wrong." I said slyly.

"Pat..." Jon started, but I cut him off.

"But you don't love her. You love someone else, Jon." I was right in his face by now. "What did it mean, Jonny?"

"What did what mean?" He asked, clearly acting like he didn't remember what happened earlier.

"This." I said, as I leaned in and passionately kissed him on the lips. The whole room gasped as we kissed. I felt Jon try to pull away, but I just held on to him tighter.

When I thought I had gotten my point through, I finally let go. I looked around, and everyone's jaws had dropped. They all had wide-eyed and surprised looks on their faces. I looked over at Jon, and he was looking down at the ground, blushing. Then, I looked over at Maddy, she was devastated.

Jon wrapped an arm around my waist and turned to Maddy, “I'm so so sorry.” He then turned to face the crowd of his friends and family. “I'm sorry everyone, but Pat's right – I do love someone else.” Jon said, turning his gaze to me. “I love Pat.” I smiled at him, and he returned the smile.

After a few moments, we walked out of the chapel, hand in hand, ready to start our new life, and I couldn't be more excited.