BLUE

INTRODUCTION
❧
Crack - SNAP
I dropped to the ground with a shrill screech of pain and stared up at my crazed father with wide eyes as the baseball bat made a quiet squeak before half fell to the ground.
'You even SOUND like a fucking faggot!' My father sneered. A bottle in one hand, the now broken bat in the other, he struck me once again. Wood was splintered in and around my weakened body. As I struggled with unstable arms to hold myself upright I spat blood as it filled my mouth. It’s sickly copper taste lingering in my mouth.
My head was pounding and I felt sick to my stomach. I felt bile rising as a breeze fluttered in the window and I smelled the bourbon on my father’s breath. But I had nothing left… I’d eaten nothing in almost four and a half days and even then... I’d al-ready expelled whatever was left in my gut… I simply had nothing left to give…
“Please… Please, just stop…” My voice was little more than a raspy whisper.
CRACK
“Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP!” he boomed, striking me between each outburst.
CRUNCH
My rib didn't break but it sounded like it... I felt faint from the pain. Tears began welling in my reddened eyes, my heart sped, eyes wide in terror. I was panicking. Tears only made him more furious! In the beginning I was stronger and I didn't cry or scream but now... I'd given up...
'What the fuck did I do to deserve YOU?' My father slurred angrily. The bat swung down and I just lay there, not even able to brace myself for the impact…
CRACK!
‘Dad, stop… I can’t-’
'FUCK YOU! Bitch can’t deal with a little discipline!?’ Dad sneered.
‘It isn't a life style choice dad-!'
“SHUT UP!”
CRACK
"Please just STOP..." I whispered into the blackness and finally passed out.

❧
The event from 2 days ago drifted lazily around in my mind as I sat clutching my side on the old foam mats I used for a bed. I wonder why the neighbors don’t call the cops… I mean it’s obvious they know what’s happening from the sad looks I get when I look outside… Why don’t they do something? I can’t stop him, but they can! Why don’t they?
I waited for the snores. Once the snoring eventually started I knew Dad had fallen asleep on the couch and it was time to go…
Dad isn't evil, he’s just ignorant…
Yes, I despised his way of thinking but I didn't Hate him... He didn't beat me tonight. For that much I'm glad. He’s never going to understand. I just don't want girls... I never did... For the past two months I’ve been trapped here, in this house. Since the day I opened up my stupid mouth and told Mom.
She told him and... He hated me...
Whenever my friends came around to see me he would run them off. I tried everything- even fighting him but I was always small... I was always too weak to actually cause much damage...
So how was I escaping? I'd slipped his sleeping pills into dinner. I wasn't allowed to eat... But he made me cook anyway. That was something Mom used to do... But not since she got away... She left me... She didn't mean it like that, I know, but it still hurt... I wasn't sure where I was going. After all, she lived with my grandparents and I could only dream that she could keep me safe...
But even she couldn't stop my father. I had nothing but the clothes on my back and I was running. No place to go. Just running... With HIS face burned in the back of my mind.
I'd called a cab and it drove up about thirty minutes later. I looked out the window and smiled faintly... This is it... Finally, after everything I'd gone through!
I stood at the front door and I was able to think a little clearer.
I was far from clean though I didn’t smell all that bad in consideration to the stench where I slept. I’d taken some of dads scent spray. It covered up a lot.
I picked up my winter jacket from the corner of the deck, exactly where I left it the morning I decided to come out…
I looked around. It was cold. The sky was dimming as night approached. Inhaling the evening air I savored the moment.
MY moment…