Get Rhythm

[FLORA]

Two weeks had passed since that huge family dinner and I still hadn't managed to get rid of Karl. As promised, there was no pressure from John.

My parents knew that I was faking my happiness even though I wouldn't admit it to them. I didn't admit it to anyone but the guys and Fiona.

Meanwhile Karl was parading the fact around, which I guess had I wanted to be engaged to him I would also be doing. I was a wreck. At any point in time I would burst into tears. I took off from the shop, leaving Fiona in charge along with another manager.

"Karl I just really don't feel like going out tonight," I groaned.

"Florence you've hardly acted like you're even excited to be engaged!"

"I... It's just... We barely know each other, we've hardly been together any amount of time."

"Flora I am fully committed to you. Anyway, I'll be over in three hours."

With that Karl hung up the phone. I rolled my eyes. I quickly showered and took off my makeup. I dried my hair when my phone buzzed.

I opened the text to find a picture of a bunch of flowers. 'These made me think of you. I'm going to start a book and press them in so I can make up for when I'm gone...'

I smiled. 'You're ridiculous. I love that idea.'

'Good. How about you send me a picture of that gorgeous face of yours? I'm missing it.'

I rolled my eyes and quickly snapped a picture of myself. Despite the cheesiness of his request, I got it. I missed seeing his face as well.

'Beautiful as ever.'

I grinned, and felt my stomach get queasy. I grinned and dropped the towel to my hips and snapped another picture in the mirror. I looked at it and then took several more.

I picked the one I thought was best and after a moment's hesitation I sent it to John.

His reply was nearly instantaneous. 'My, my, my, Miss Glenanne, I forgot how... flawless you are. Stupid me.'

I grinned. 'Just a little surprise.'

'And a lovely one at that. God Florence... I miss you.'

I smiled and hit the call button when I received his text.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"I miss you. You should come down for a weekend."

"You can't come here?" I replied.

"If I could I would have been there and back a hundred times by now. We're working on weekends too."

"Well maybe I will. How is recording going?"

"Excellent. We have a lot of material but it's kind of hard picking and choosing and figuring out what needs to be tweaked where and practicing and learning the songs. How's the bakery?"

"I'm actually taking a few weeks off. I just need to be able to focus on myself and not cupcakes and beer."

"Understandable."

"Yeah... Listen, I have to go... Karl's making me go out tonight."

I heard John sigh. "Alright. Bye Floral."

"Bye John Oh."

We hung up the phone and I finished getting dressed. Karl would be here in no time. I went into my closet and pulled out a simple black dress. I put on a pair of brown leather braided flats. I kept everything simple... The ring was big enough...

My hand felt heavy with that ring on my finger. I sighed and shook my head. I just had to make it through this dinner and then I can end things... Alright...

&&&

"Sorry I dragged you out."

"It's alright... It was actually pretty fun... The people you work with are hilarious."

Karl nodded, smiling. "The pay is great... But I love the people... They make the job seem like less of a... well, job."

"I can understand that," I nodded my head. I rested it against the headrest, looking out my window. Karl was driving back to his place.

"Could I shower when we get back?" Sitting on the patio had been nice, but left me sticky... I felt gross and even though I knew I needed to end things with him as soon as possible I also knew that I couldn't stand to sit around like this.

"Yeah, of course baby." The ride didn't last much longer and we were going into Karl's nice apartment in no time. I laid my purse and phone on the counter and gave him a quick kiss before going straight to the bathroom.

A nice thing about Karl's place is that he gets what he pays for... His bathroom is amazing, the water pressure is amazing, and he has one of those giant round shower heads. It's fantastic.

I stayed in the shower for about twenty minutes when I realized I should probably get out. I stayed in an extra five after that and then got out.

I heard a crash from the living room. Startled, I quickly threw my clothes back on and went out there.

"Karl, is everything alright?"

He looked at me, pure fury in his eyes. He tossed me my phone. I looked at it to see a text from John.

'You're disgusting. Stay away from me, Florence. Please.'

Tears sprung to my eyes. I don't understand what brought this on... I was going to break up with Karl and we would have been together.

Karl took the phone from me and threw it across the room. I gasped and jumped back, right into a wall as he advanced forward.

"What the fuck, Florence?" he roared. "How fucking long have you been two timing me? Huh?"

"K- Karl I-" He didn't give me time to explain and when his hand made forceful contact with my cheek I knew he didn't actually care about an explanation either. He threw me across the room, I landed on the floor. I quickly scrambled back against a wall, looking up at him.

I trembled slightly, chastising myself for getting into this situation and getting myself stuck.

"I want to fucking marry you Florence! And here you are fucking around with some guy who is going nowhere! He is in a band! You're fucking worthless, you're lucky anyone wants you and you're lucky I'm going to forgive you." Karl kicked me a few times and then dragged me into his room.

Fear and panic were coursing through my body as he continued his assault on me in the bedroom. He threw me into the closet and then walked out of the room, slamming the door as he went. A few minutes later I heard another door slam, I assumed it to be the front door from the silence that gripped the entire place. I stayed in the closer for fifteen minutes before I felt like I could definitely come out.

With wobbly legs I came out of the closet. I quickly gathered my purse and phone and left Karl's place. My car was at home but I didn't care about walking... I wanted the fresh air anyway. The looks I was getting told me that I should have taken the time to clean up before leaving Karl's.

I just ignored any looks I got and kept on walking. It took an hour to get home and when I did I was so thankful to find Fiona gone. I took another shower, trying to make sense of everything in my head... Everything meaning both Karl and John.

I pulled on a pair of sweats and a black tank top with a green-blue sweater. I covered all the bruises as best I could with makeup and it almost looked like I was perfectly fine.

With shaky hands I sipped a glass of wine while curled up in my bed. I couldn't believe I'd become this girl...

"Florence."

I gasped when Karl burst into my room. He looked apologetic and had flowers in his hand.

"I'm so sorry! I was just so blinded by my anger, I promise I'll talk to someone! Just... Please don't leave me!"

I looked at Karl, weighing my options... Well John doesn't want me... He probably realized how beneath him I am finally... "Alright... I forgive you."

The words shocked me. I hadn't exactly realized I was saying them out loud, but when I got it out I realized that I didn't really have any other options. I was terrified of Karl and if nothing else I didn't want to make him angry twice in one day.

For the first time in my life I felt completely and utterly alone.

Karl smiled and locked my door. He climbed into my bed and began kissing me and I knew where he was heading and I didn't fight it. I felt nearly drained and I figured I might as well go ahead and finish the job.

When he was done we cuddled for an hour before he went to his own place.

I wished more than ever that Fiona was home now, just so I had someone to talk to...

&&&

[JOHN]

"How many fucking times is it going to take you to get this right, man?"

"John what is up your ass?" Kennedy snapped. "We're all walking on egg shells here, and even that isn't enough! What the fuck is going on with you?"

"Things..." I felt myself unwillingly starting to fall apart. "Things fell apart with Flora."

"What?"

Everyone was focused on me in an instant. I guess I really started falling apart because Garrett pulled me into a hug. The guys all surrounded us and before I knew it I was crying like a fucking girl in front of not only my band mates, but the recording dudes as well.

I took a deep breath and pulled away from everyone. I picked up an acoustic and headed to my bedroom. I locked the door behind me and put the guitar on the bed. I quickly gout out a bowl and began taking hits while I got my notebook and pen together. I sat on the floor, crying somewhat still.

I had been writing furiously. I was able to pour all my feelings into it and I had a lot of them. I found my phone and pulled up Flora's message stream. I still hadn't gotten rid of it...

'I'm sorry I'm not what you wanted... I'm sorry I'm not what you needed.'

I hit send without a second thought.

I began writing again.

I wanted you then but both you and I know the way that this will end.

When I wrote the simple line on paper it was clear to me that I had known all along Flora wouldn't end the engagement with Karl. The reasoning didn't matter, I just knew there would be something... Something that would keep her from being mine.

I wrote for hours and then I got into bed and stared at the ceiling. I put on some Death Cab and smoked pot. I needed anything I could get, at this point, to take the edge off of all of this.

A knock came to my door. Sighing I unlocked it, knowing it was no use to keep everyone out forever.

"Hi."

"I didn't expect to see you here."

She shrugged. "Pat called... I got an earful."

I frowned, looking at her and taking my place back on the bed. "Sorry. I never intended for him to bitch at you for your sister's choices."

"It's alright, I quickly set him straight on that accord, but I still felt like I should come... We are friends after all. You're obviously upset and I get that you may not want to talk to the guys about this so... If you want me... Here I am."

I smiled and squeezed Fiona's hand.

"I just... I never imagined we wouldn't be together, ya know? I mean... Something in me knew that she wouldn't end it, but I didn't actually believe that we would allow ourselves to be with anyone else but each other."

"Oh John... You're such a poetic motherfucker."

I laughed at Fiona. It was comforting to have her here, strangely.

"Do you think they'll actually get married?"

"I hope not... I'm going to do everything I can to stop it. She isn't happy and I should have stood up and said something the night he proposed but I didn't."

I shook my head. "Don't beat yourself up. She's a big girl, she can take care of herself and if she can't she needs to learn how to."

"You're angry."

"Incredibly so... Mostly with my own self... But partly her too."

"You have every right to be."

I felt the tears coming on again and Fiona pulled my head into her lap and I cried. I didn't feel self conscious and Fiona cooed at me. I coughed.

"This has to be a fucking comical seen. Hard ass Fiona Glenanne cooing and me crying like a girl. Jesus."

Fiona laughed with me. "If anyone dared laugh I would kick their ass."

"I don't doubt it, Fi."

"Everything is going to be alright John."

I sighed, sitting up and stretching. "I know that Fi," I replied exhaling. "Doesn't mean I don't feel like shit now though. I'm going to take a shower. I need to just be alone. If you could pass that along and let everyone know I'm alright I would appreciate it."

Fiona agreed and slipped out of the room. I was thankful that it wasn't an argument. I went straight to the shower and tried to wash away all the feelings that still burned wildly inside of me.