Long Live the Fast Times

It was weird. That was the only word I could use to describe it, so goddamn weird. I was sat on the bus, my suitcase at my feet and my laptop and messenger bag on the sofa next to me – I felt so completely out of place, yet so at home. “You do not look okay.” I turned and glared lightly at Zack who had walked onto the bus not far behind myself and Matt.

“Thank you for your insight there, Zacky-poo.” He held his hands up in surrender and I rubbed my hands over my face. “Sorry, I just- this is so weird. When do we leave?”

“In just over an hour. Um, Ariel, did you tell your parents about you, ya know, leaving?” I looked in front of me, out the window of the bus and shook my head; honestly, I hadn’t even thought of it. It wasn’t like I didn’t think they wouldn’t care (so okay, yes I did think that but whatever), I just didn’t see the point because it’s not like we were even talking or like they could change my mind. They couldn’t because despite how fucking weird it was sitting on this bus and knowing I wasn’t getting off and saying goodbye to my family in the next few hours, my parents wouldn’t be able to convince me to stay here. Also, I couldn’t leave Rian. I knew he was worried, more than usual and if I stayed at home with him calling every day or so it would frustrate me because I’d be making him so anxious to get home. What kind of sister would I be if I ruined the end of this tour for him? A sucky one.

Zack nodded slowly and ruffled my hair a little before hauling my suitcase onto my bunk for me, I whispered a small ‘thanks’ and went to sit next to Matt who was by the table on his laptop, sorting out a schedule. “Come here, Princess.” I curled myself into his side and he wrapped an arm around my shoulders, typing with one hand.

“Zack, where’s the rest of the guys?”

“Uh, Alex is on his way back, Jack is just saying goodbye to his parents and May, Rian is wrapping things up with Cass before the journey, um… Evan is with Eva and his parents – should be coming back soon, Kate’s driving Colussy here now and the rest are on their way.” Matt thanked him and went back to his laptop.

“It’s weird with it being this empty. Like, you guys are so fucking loud and now it’s just so quiet. Now I can’t stop talking to fill the silence, oh god.” Matt laughed breathily into my hair. “Don’t laugh at me, you asswipe. I can’t believe I’m actually doing this, oh my god I’m on tour with All Time Low.” Matt shot me a dirty look and I kissed his shoulder, “Man up, Matty. You know I’m a band groupie, this is how I do.”

“Ariel, your brother’s in this band.”

A little huff escaped me and I heard Zack laugh from the sofa. “You suck.”

“As a band groupie, that’s your job,” Zack smirked and I gasped with fake-surprise.

I tutted lightly, shaking my head, “Zackary Merrick where is your etiquette? You’re supposed to be the good one in the band, shame on you. I guess no dick joke is too small for this band.”

“Did I hear small dicks because I swear Jack is just coming, he won’t be late,” Alex said as he came onto the bus, a small smirk playing on his lips. Matt and I laughed under our breath at his wording but nodded at Alex. “Anyway, are you guys ready?”

He looked so genuinely happy to be leaving for tour, to be seeing kids and playing shows; it was so endearing.

“Guys, can I tweet about being on tour with your or like, is that weird?” Over half of my followers were due to me being Rian’s sister so I knew a lot of people would be slightly interested.

“Sure you can, just make sure you don’t have locations attached to your tweets and stuff,” Matt mumbled, scratching his chin and stretching a little, his head lolling onto my shoulder.

“Beat ya too it,” Alex smirked, holding his phone in his hand.

My phone beeped from my pocket and I rolled my eyes as I got it, seeing a mention from a certain Gaskarth.

“@AlexAllTimeLow: Happy to have @ArielDawson joining us for this tour, she’s getting herself comfy on the bus already, lazy ass ;-)” and attached to that was a photo of Matt practically asleep on my shoulder.

I saved the photo, setting it as my background and replied back to him.

“@ArielDawson: @AlexAllTimeLow nice to see you’re appreciating the view, and I’m not lazy, your tour manager is :P”

Alex laughed a little as he saw my reply and I nudged my shoulder lightly so Matt wouldn’t actually fall asleep as Vinny, Colussy and Jack all came onto the bus. “The rest of the guys are outside. Hey baby!” Jack practically flung himself onto my lap, making Matt a little disgruntled. “I’m so happy you’re on this tour, it’s going to be so much fun.”

“It won’t be fun if you continue to squash her with your fat ass, Barakat,” Evan shot at the skinny boy as he sat next to Alex.

Jack stuck his middle finger at his crew member, “Fuck you, Evan. I have a cute little booty, and you know it.”

The rest of the guys climbed onto the bus and I looked around, a huge smile across my face; this was my life for the next couple of months and it looks brilliant. The boys continued joking, Matt slipped his hand onto my thigh, giving it a little squeeze before leaning in to whisper. “You don’t have to worry, okay? You’re home.” I bit my lip, my smile uncontrollable because he was right, I was home.

That word has never felt so relevant to my life until then. I was wholly surrounded my people that I couldn’t love more, sure they were complete assholes at times but I wouldn’t swap them for anything or anyone. I had grown up with these boys and I was as determined as hell to grow old with them. The fact that I couldn’t attach the word ‘home’ to a specific building or place was completely irrelevant because it wasn’t bricks or furniture or the park around the corner that made it home; it was the laughter of your loved ones and the small traditions that made it a home. A house is just a house - it’s the people that make it a home. That had never really hit until I was on this small bus with cramped living conditions and suitcases because despite the surroundings this was definitely my home. Right at this moment, a cardboard box on the street could have been my home as long as these boys were with me.

The guys that were missing soon made their way onto the bus and I realised how completely on top of each other we were going to be living for the foreseeable future and it made me smile so much; I was safe and encircled with the people who meant the most to me. “Are we ready to leave?” Matt asked whilst trying to count everyone which turned out to be a pretty hard job when they were all excitable and moving around. “You know what, I told you to be here now so if we’re missing someone it’s their own fault.” I laughed as Matt pulled a hand down his face. “Guys, are we ready to leave?”

“Fuck yeah!” Flyzik seemed to be happy with the response that time and climbed off the bus. I assumed he was going to tell the bus driver we were ready to leave. I’d met the bus driver earlier, he was a cool guy; sort of old but the kind of man who would listen to you and give you an honest answer, no bullshit excuses.

“Yo! Ariel, you excited?” Alex asked me, coming over to replace Matt next to me. “You’re going to love it, I’m stoked you agreed to come.”

“Whoa, Gaskarth. Calm down, damn what have you taken today?” Alex laughed, his leg bobbing up and down. “Seriously, are you always this excited to be leaving for tour?”

“I am always this excited to be leaving for tour. It’ll wear off soon, bus journeys get boring after about 2 seconds of driving because you realise how fucking long it takes to get to each city and it’s a bummer. But whatever because this tour is going to be awesome - I hope you’re happy here.” I stared at Alex as he said that, leaning in afterwards to kiss my temple. “You deserve to be so fucking happy.” Flyzik had climbed back onto the bus and after the door closed the bus kicked into life and we were moving. “Go time!”

“You’ve definitely been drinking, I refuse to believe these guys put up with you being like this.” Alex just stuck his tongue out in return and ruffled his hair. “How do you work eating when you’re on the bus?” Alex was looking around the bus, eyes wide and his finger twirling his hair. Well, seems I had lost his attention. Some of the boys had filtered to the bunks and back room, where they could actually sit down and not just stand around. “I am so glad I brought books with me, wow.” Alex was staring out the window, completely oblivious to everything whilst Rian was looking at me oddly. “What are you staring at, Dawson?”

“Stop talking to yourself, Ariel!” I ignored Jack’s shouting and aimed a raised eyebrow at my brother.

“It’s so peculiar to see you on the bus when we’re leaving Baltimore like, I feel like you forgot to leave and we’re kidnapping you.” I laughed and shook my head. “Maybe not kidnapping but something along those lines, fan-napping.”

“Fan-napping? I’m your sister, I’m hardly someone you would just class as a ‘fan’. I am offended, Ri-Ri. But whatever, I’ll let it slide this time because I know the value of family, unlike some.” Rian scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Anyway meathead, how does food work in this joint?”

“Always thinking about your stomach, some things never change. There’s some food in the cupboards and stuff and we usually stop off for lunch or dinner, it’s cheap and cheerful and wonderful. If there’s no food then there’s always alcohol.”

Under my breath I muttered, “Glad you have your priorities in check.” Rian smiled triumphantly and went into the back room. Alex was looking at me when I checked on him and he smiled at me dopily, I ignored him and grabbed a book from my messenger bag. I brought my knees up under my chin and wrapped my arms around them, the book in front of my face. That was how I spent my first hour on the bus, completely engrossed in some character’s life.

I spent my second hour on the bus having Jack sitting on the floor in front of me, a bag of Skittles between us. “Weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?”

This game had been going on for only fifteen minutes so far and if Jack deemed my answer reasonable then he would throw me a Skittle. “Um, apparently when I was drunk I ate this sandwich some chick had made and it had marshmallow fluff, ham and jam in it and I’m pretty sure the bread wasn’t in date or anything. I don’t really remember eating it but I remember throwing it up at 8am the next morning.”

A look of repulsion was thrown my way, along with a purple Skittle, “You disgust me, Dawson.” I chewed the Skittle, smiling widely at my best friend. “Okay, how old were you when you had your first kiss?”

“You’re an asshole. You know this story, you were like the first person I ever told and then you told everyone because you don’t understand the words ‘it’s a secret’.”

“I understand them, I just figured that it was something you’d laugh about in the future, but clearly not in the future which was like… ten minutes after you told me. Whatever, c’mon.”

I groaned, placing my hands on the knees of my crossed legs, “Okay, I was like… I’m not sure, I must have been about ten? Anyway, these guys were playing kiss-chase because fuck you that’s what kids did, this guy - who wasn’t like weird or whatever, he was kind of my friend – decided that hey, I’ll get Ariel because she’s an easy little target so he was running after me and I was looking behind me to see where he was and I couldn’t find him so I looked in front of me and he was there. I was hardly experienced from running away from people so I was slow at getting a new exit strategy-”

“I love how you make this sound like such a fucking mission; get away from the bad guy with the puckered lips.”

Pointing a finger down at Jack, I carried on talking, “You’re weird. Anyway, he pushed me into the mud and kissed me and it was disgusting like goddamn don’t spit on me. As if getting pushed down into mud wasn’t bad enough for a ten year old on a playground full of kids, this guy then stood up and just left me. So I got up because I’m an independent woman who don’t need no man and tried to act as natural as you can when your butt is wet with mud. I walked into the classroom to find the boy who had basically assaulted me-”

Jack laughed, “Like you said, you were ten, get a grip.”

“You weren’t there, it all happened so fast. But whatever, he was crying because, and I quote, Ariel gave me cooties. Apparently it isn’t just boys that have cooties; no it’s boys and Ariel. So the teacher was trying to calm him down while I stood there with mud all over me and then it turned out that the lipbalm I was wearing gave him an allergic reaction, so yes indeed it looked like I had given him ‘cooties’.” I cringed hard at the memory, like being ten wasn’t bad enough.

“You gave him cooties!”

“Give me my Skittle, you buttmunch.” I caught the red sweet in my mouth and glared at Jack.

Alex wandered into where we were sitting and smiled when he saw we were alone; or just smiling at the laughing boy on the floor. “Hey.”

“Oh, hi.”

I rolled my eyes and went to the ‘kitchen’ and grabbed a bottle of AriZona Raspberry Half & Half (kind of my weakness). When I turned back round I saw Alex get up from crouching down, his shirt a little crumpled, well. Alex grinned at me and grabbed a drink from the small fridge, heading back into the back room. Jack and I spent the rest of the hour playing our stupid game.

Somewhere between the third hour and the second big bag of Skittles, some of the other guys had joined Jack on the floor. “Worst memory from when you were at school?”

Evan was the first to answer, “Some girl beat me up, she was big okay. Guys, shut up, don’t – stop laughing.” Except we couldn’t because the thought of a little Evan being beat up by a girl was pretty fucking hilarious and he joined in after a little while. “Ariel?”

“My first kiss; I’ve already told the story tonight, I’m not repeating it.” The boys all groaned, a small smile playing on all their lips. “Alex?”

“When I was like a really small kid okay, like four years old, I kind of peed myself. It wasn’t like a huge deal because we were four but they called my mom and she had to come and clean me up and bring new trousers and apparently when I saw her I shouted it out really loudly that I had ‘wee-wee-d myself’.” Alex ruffled his hair and smiled widely, “Kurily?”

“I had a really wobbly tooth but it just wouldn’t come out but anyway, this kid hit me at school because he was a huge bully and it ended up dislodging my tooth but I was choking on it from where I’d been hit so the teacher had to get me to stop choking. When I eventually did, my tooth kind of just landed on this girl and she’s hated me every since then.” I tried to hold my laughter in but it was proving impossible. If that girl had been I’d probably hate him too. “Anyone else have a story?” Everyone shook their heads, still laughing and Jack gave Skittles to Evan, myself, Alex and Kurily.

Jack tried to think of another question, “Weirdest thing a fan’s said to you? Jack, you start.”

“Oh fuck, um. Oh! This one time after a show, I was going to get some food with Vinny and this girl stopped us and she looked pretty cool so we were talking and then she gave me a piece of paper with her number on and the message ‘look forward to the nudes’. It was fucking awkward considering she looked really young, it made me feel creepy.”

Alex looked pretty grossed out, “Your nudes are just for us, dude – don’t be sharing that shit out. Mine was when this guy stopped me and asked me if I ever try on all the bras we get thrown on stage after shows. Then he whispered to me that he would and he just walked off, like it was no big deal.” Everyone was laughing and all Alex did was pout.

Rian interjected with his story, “Once this mom came up to me and gave me a wig because I ‘can’t seem to grow my own’ and then she patted my shoulder and told that it was ‘okay, buddy’.”

I swear that the small group of us didn’t stop laughing or smiling throughout the game, it was honestly one of the best things ever – to be so thoroughly happy with what was happening. Then Evan moaned from the floor, “I need food guys, someone get me some food.”

“Shut up, Kirkendall or you’ll have another girl beat you up,” I smirked at him and he flipped me off. “I’m kind of hungry too, though.” Evan gave a little victory fist pump and we started to all whine until Flyzik came in and gave us all a dirty look.

“You’re practically animals.”

I pouted up at him, “But we’re hungry animals.” Everyone followed suit and began to pout up at their tour manager.

“We’re stopping in half hour to get gas and there are some restaurants there, okay?”

Everyone gave a little cheer and I smirked up at him, “You’re so good to us, Matty.” So with half hour to fill, our game recommenced as soon as Jack burst out with the question ‘weirdest thing you’ve done when you were drunk?’ which kind of fuelled us through that half hour, and dinner. Memories and stories were retold even though most of us had heard them at one point in our lives and it never got old to hear the same words being said and the same group’s laughter. It was comforting and as I sat next to Matt eating, I could tell that these boys would try and make me as happy as possible whilst I was with them, just like they’d tried to do even when I wasn’t on tour with them - and that was such a revelation to make because I realised it didn’t matter where we were because we’d always have this night of nostalgia to hold onto and I’d always have these boys.