College For the Utterly Confused and the Fabulously Drag

That night Frank had troubles getting to sleep. As soon as they had gotten home from that long drive back, they were both exhausted and ready to pass out. Frank had loved that he got to see his mother, yet he still had sort of wished that Gerard did not go with them. He wanted his mom to himself, and well with Gerard there, it really had defeated the purpose.

He sucked it up when he was at his mother’s home, and that’s why he was paying for it now, as he lay in his comic book blankets bundle and the twin sized dorm bed. It was like what the first day would have been like if he was not so exhausted in the first place. So now he lay there crying to himself and watching the red head across the room toss in his sleep.

“Fucking hell,” Frank mumbled, tossing the blankets off of him and to the side. He was sweating from head to toe and was completely drenched in his plan white t-shirt. He stood up and ripped the shirt off, reveling his clad chest. He threw it to the side and grabbed the water bottle off the shelf.

“What are you doing?” the mumbled greeting was heard from across the room. It came from the talking bundle of blankets. Frank couldn’t help but throw the bottle of water on the ground in surprise, the lukewarm liquid pouring itself onto the already stained carpet.

”God, Gerard you scared me half to death.”

Gerard stood up very slowly and walked over to the half-naked boy, who was almost completely in the middle of having a panic attack. The red head pat Frank on the wet and quite sticky back before he made a face and pulled away.

Gerard stood there for just that extra second to look at Frank, his disheveled hair and dark circles under his blood shot eyes had let Gerard know that something was up with him. That and he could hear the boy crying across the room for the past two hours before he actually decided to say anything about it.

“What’s wrong, dude?”

“Nothing.”

“Is it because I didn’t take my make-up off last night and now I look like a raccoon?”
Frank couldn’t help but let a chuckle escape his slightly wet lips. “Yes, that’s the reason Gerard.”

Gerard Sighed and motioned for Frank to sit down on his bed. Frank reluctantly followed the red head and plopped himself down on the surprisingly soft mattress. Gerard eyes Frank suspiciously for a few seconds, before he spoke to the younger man.

“Now, what is really wrong with you?”

“Yesterday When I went to go see my mother and you came with me you ripped all of her attention away from me and everything was all focused around you. She is my mom not yours and yesterday you were acting like you were pals for years that finally met up after fucking beauty school. You know I love my mom to death and I had missed her so fucking much and then poof. You just hop in my life and rip me out of my moms.” Frank caught his breath after his ramblings and looked over at the taller man. The look on Gerard’s face at the moment was just dumb founded. Confusion ripping through his features complete with a cocked eyebrow and a slightly opened mouth. The red head had definitely not seen that coming and Frank knew it.

“Uh…” Gerard paused for a second and looked up at the ceiling for some type of answer which he did not receive, so he turned his attention back to Frank who was now crying all over again.

“Frank I didn’t mean to make you feel that way… I was just trying to get to know your mom and like get her to like me. Because I’m your roommate and all and I want her to know that her son is in safe keepings. I can tell she cares about you so much, and when you were off packing up more stuff she talked to me about how proud of you she was. I didn’t steal her away from you, and even if I tried to it wouldn’t work one bit.”

“Gerard… I- I’m sorry that I jumped to conclusions.” Frank sniffled and wiped his dripping nose across his tattooed arm. “I just miss her so much… I need her so much. And I can’t deal with not having her here with me. I just…”

Gerard stepped in and wrapped his arms around Frank, instantaneously shushing him. Frank stood shaking and starring at the wall, his cheeks turning into a crimson red as Gerard’s grip grew tighter. His breath hitched in his throat as he brought his shaking arms up to return the hug. At that moment in time, everything had frozen for Frank. The hug lasted what seemed like forever and in that moment Frank had not cared one bit. His mother was for once, out of his mind and the only thing he could think about was the way Gerard’s bare chest had felt against his own and how strong Gerard had felt to him, holding him so close to his body which gave Frank such comfort and the feeling of secureness. He wasn’t upset anymore. All bad feelings had been replaced with what had felt like magic and fireworks and for once for those couple of days, he had felt at home.

“Frank, I will be here for you. If you’re upset I want you to come to me and talk to me about anything you need to. I want to be your friend and I will be here with you every step of the way if you will allow it. You’re not alone.” Gerard stepped away from Frank, but still had his hands on his shoulders, forcing Frank to look into his eyes. “I will be your mother all through college.”

Frank couldn’t help but laugh and smile at Gerard’s last comment and nodded his head, mumbling a small and shy thanks. Gerard smiled and let go of Frank’s shoulders as he walked back over to his bed. He got in under the covers and turned to look at Frank who was now walking over to his own, wiping the earlier tears from his face when Gerard called over to him.

“Hey! Why don’t you sleep over here for tonight?”

Frank looked over in Gerard’s direction, palms sweaty and heart racing fast. At first Frank was not sure if Gerard was pulling a prank on him or not. Him coming out to the man as gay earlier and Gerard not being able to respond had made Frank feel a bit wheezy. He wasn’t so sure if Gerard had a problem with him or not, but Frank figured either way, prank or not if Gerard really did have a problem with him being a homosexual he would not invite the man to bed with him.

“Are you sure?” Frank asked, rubbing his arm with his hand and looking around the room nervously. Gerard just smiled at him and patted the space next to him. The extremely small space. Frank glanced over at his own bed that at the moment was occupied by no one, then looked back at Gerard who had a smile on his face as big as the Cheshire cats. Frank walked is way over to Gerard’s bed.

Frank plopped down on the bed next to Gerard, crawling his way under the covers while Gerard got situated behind him. Frank was a sweaty mess in front of him, shaking and looking around the room franticly. This was Frank’s first time in a bed with anyone. Anyone other than his mother of course, and Frank was a nervous wreck. Gerard noticed Frank’s nerves and put his hand on his shoulder, which made Frank visibly relax. After a few moments of the two of them not speaking, Gerard had finally broke the silence.

“You know, I really don’t care that you’re gay. I mean I dress up like a chick and you don’t judge me for that so I am not going to judge you.” Gerard said, making Frank smile. “Goodnight, Frank.” Gerard mumbled tiredly, gripping Frank’s arm and pulling him closer to him.

Frank smiled as he settled in to Gerard, they’re bodies fitting together like pieces of a puzzle. This was not at all awkward feeling for Frank, and that bit had scared him a little bit. For the first time ever Frank had realized that he had a crush on someone. Not just for the looks, but for Gerard’s caring and loving attitude. And in that moment Frank had no worries at all. He felt comfortable and Gerard’s arm had felt homey. And as much as he thought he was going to be dreading it, Frank decided that college was a good idea after all.