Try to Scream

“It could just be a coincidence.” Harry tossed out. I shook my head and searched through the Munro Ellis tag on Tumblr. “Niall, maybe we should tell the police about this.”

I glared at him and sighed, “They’ll call me crazy. They’ll say it’s just my head. No one will believe me.”

Louis took the laptop from me; I rushed off the bed after him, “Niall! We believe you, we honestly do. They won’t say you’re crazy. They have a better chance at finding the guy than we do.” I continued reaching for the laptop, but Harry grabbed me.

I tried to fight against him, but Josh soon joined in and a couple security guards came to the door. As much as I wanted to hold it in, I couldn’t. I was sobbing. Every breath I took hurt, every exhale was loud and short. I was beginning to see just shapes. I couldn’t tell who was who anymore. My legs became jelly and I was hardly holding myself up anymore.

To say I was breaking would be an understatement. I was shattering, tens of thousands of pieces I was becoming. I couldn’t tell who was lowing me to the floor or who was holding me tightly. It didn’t matter. Their shirt was becoming soaked with my tears. I could feel the motion in their chest as they sniffled. I could hear everyone was trying hard to keep control.

Time just seemed to slow down. I couldn’t tell how long I sat there in Harry’s arms as we both cried. Liam, Zayn, Cora and Paul were back now, which meant at least an hour. We didn’t move from the floor. And when I could finally somewhat see, I saw my laptop and Louis gone. Liam, Harry, Josh, Zayn and Cora were all in the room.

Cora was curled up in Zayn’s arms as he hushed her and rubbed her back. Liam and Josh were talking quietly as they sat on my bed. Harry was still sitting beside me. He had finally let me go now that I had managed to stop crying and he was watching me as I looked around.

I stood up, still shaking slightly, and sat on my bed beside Liam. His arm wrapped around my shoulder. “Munro’s parents and sister should be here soon.” He said quietly as I rested my head on his shoulder. “Would you like me to get you when they arrive?”

Through my constant sadness and answer seeking, I forgot about the people who knew her longer. The people who raised her and lived with her. I’d forgotten there were people who would be as torn up about it as I was. “Please.” I said, closing my eyes.

When they arrived, I wasn’t sure how to approach them. I had promised her family I’d take care of her, and here we were…everyone but Munro was here. I was the blame for this, it was my responsibility to look after her and I lost her!

Liam came in and told me they were here. I sent him off, claiming to be out in a few minutes. It wasn’t until Ellie came in, that I even bothered to do a thing. “Hey.” I said to her. Her brown eyes filled with tears as she came closer to me. “Listen, El…I’m so sorry.” I felt a tear hit my cheek as the words came out of my mouth.

“Niall, it’s not your fault.” She said. She froze where she stood and brought her hand up to cover her eyes. “It’s mine. Niall, it’s all my fault. I made her come here. I did this.” I saw her legs shake and quickly got up and ran to her. She fell against me and gasped for air. “I’m the worst sister ever.”

“No.” I shook my head and held her close. “Ellie, she did this because she loves you. You didn’t make her come here.” I felt my heart breaking more as Ellie tried to stop herself from crying.

She gripped my shirt tightly and buried her face against my chest, “It’s still my fault. She came because of me, if I didn’t ask her—“ I cut her off quickly.

“If you didn’t ask her, she would have never met me, I would not be in love and you wouldn’t be here. She had so much fun and you gave her that.” I pulled back and bend slightly to look her straight in the eyes, “Because of you, she had the time of her life, El. You can’t beat yourself up for something that wasn’t in your control.”

I didn’t realize how much I was crying until she brought the sleeve of her sweater up to my face and wiped both sides. “We have to find her.” Was all she said.

“Don’t worry, love. I’m already working on it.” She hugged me again before leaving the room. I stood there and stared at the wall for a while. Her parents came in soon after. “I’m sorry.” I said the moment the door shut behind them.

“Niall, sweetie, it’s not your fault. It’s nobody’s fault.” Her mother placed her hands on my shoulders and smiled at me. Her eyes were red and puffy, she looked like she just finished crying, but she managed to still look put together and act motherly. I hugged her without warning and without hesitation, she hugged me back.

I was afraid to look at her father, I had failed him. I was supposed to protect her. He was looking at the ground when I detached myself from her mother. She had placed her hand on his and nudged him softly. He looked at me and I nearly broke down again. Munro had told me stories about how stone like her father was. How he never cried, never showed emotion. But tears were streaming his face and he had so much hurt in them. I didn’t know if I should hug him or not.

For a while, we just looked at each other. Unsure of what to do or say. “Come on, we should get to our room.” Mrs. Ellis said quietly.

When they had left, I pulled my phone out and started looking at pictures of that man again. I was determined to find out who he was. I had no doubt that Louis had managed to get the information to the police by now, but I was going to do something. He had to be somewhere out there, someone had to know who he was. Someone would connect a name to a face. I was going to find him. I was going to get Munro back. I was going to make up for leaving her alone and breaking the one promise I made to her family.