Try to Scream

After the mental letters to the people I cared about, I found myself silently laying on the bed looking at the blurred ceiling. For the longest time, I couldn’t move anything but my feet. I tried my fingers, my legs, my nose. But It felt like hours of useless trying.

Slowly, though, I regained the ability to move most of my arm. Just because I could move it, didn’t mean that I wanted to do it much. The pain was unbearable, my sweater and the pillow my head rested on were wet from my tears.

Little by little, I managed to move every bit of my body. I was afraid to try and sit up, but I knew I’d need to, if Trent could beat me this much, he would be back to kill me. I was ready to die, but I didn’t want to leave just a dead body for them to find. I wanted something to let them all know I loved them. I just needed to move a little bit.

But all hope in getting out of bed was washed away as I cried out. If I thought moving my limbs was pain, I was wrong. Of all the pain I’d ever felt, this was the worst. Just lifting my shoulders made me wish he’d kill me sooner. I was hopeless, weak…broken.

Fear ran through my body as I heard a loud bang. I never heard a noise besides the door. In all the weeks I’d been here, I never heard such a frightening sound before, Another bang followed and I knew what it was. A gun was being fired. I prayed it was the police, but as I waited, seconds…minutes, I knew I was wrong. They would have searched the garage, found the padlock and saved me by now. I was still alone. Still waiting to die.

The silence that followed the shots were the worst. I found myself singing. The noise that met my ears was horrible. It was gargled words. I didn’t have much going for me. I couldn’t scream even if I wanted to. I could talk, couldn’t beg for my life or give my last words. I was the only one who could understand me, now.

When the last gun shot went off, I fell completely silent. I had no idea what to think. If the police weren’t here, it had to be Trent. What was he shooting? Ws he practicing for me? Was he going to shoot me?

Minutes went by again of nothing but the questions that ran through my head. Soon the lock to the door was moving. Tears stung my eyes again. A constant stream of them. With the amount of time I had to prepare myself for this, with the idea that I was ready to die, that I wanted to die…as the lock on the door began moving, I knew I was lying to myself.

No matter how much pain I felt, I didn’t want to die. I wanted to be with my family, my friends. I wanted to kiss Niall again and deal with the stupid fans as they bashed everything about me. All the harsh words and death threats sounded the most amazing thing right now. I didn’t want to die!

Move noise came from the lock than I’d ever heard. Banging. Violent banging. Trent was mad. He was really mad. I knew I’d be in for Hell when he did make it down he. He was going to take every last bit of anger out on me and I would be helpless. The little amount of fighting back I could do would lead to nothing but delayed death, more pain. I would make myself suffer.

I decided as the door finally opened and feet rushed down the stairs, I would just let whatever it was happen. “Oh my God.” I heard. My heart bashed against the broken bones in my body as I waited for the blow. “Munro….Munro, talk to me.”

I wanted to say something, I wanted to tell him to just get rid of me already. But I knew it was useless. I flinched as his arms wrapped around me. “Jus-“ I fought out. “Ki me.”

“W-what?” I heard him speak again. “Please, speak again….”

“Ki me. Ki. Ki. Kil-“ I coughed and it made my entire body shake. “Kill. Me.”

It was odd, he didn’t move or say anything for a moment. I just waited, my eyes trying to focus, but all I saw was a blob, a blob of hardly any color. “I won’t kill you, Princess.”

And it hit me right there, I wasn’t with Trent at all. Niall was here, he held me close to his chest. I couldn’t see him, but I knew there had to be tears running from his perfect blue eyes. The eyes I’d been longing to see. “Everything will be okay.” He promised. “Relax and I’ll get an ambulance here. You never have to worry again.”

And he followed through with his promise. Within the hour, I was in the hospital, machines beeped in my ears. My bed rolled from room to room as they took X-Ray after X-Ray. I was brought to surgery multiple times. I didn’t know if it was day or night, if one day passed or several.

There was no time for visitors and when I was in my room, it was for me to sleep. Guards were placed at the door, keeping fans of the boys away, keeping away press and not letting a single person in. My parents weren’t even allowed in for a while.

When I was done going through the countless procedures. My parents visited. They cried and held my hand, told me they loved me and read some of the letters they’d brought from the house. Get Well Cards, described pictures for me and told me what kind of flowers were in my room.

They let Niall come and visit. He was silent at first as he sat in the chair I knew was to my right. When he finally touched my hand and held it, I heard the muffled sounds of him crying. “Hey, hey, hey. This is a happy place. No tears.”

“I thought I lost you for a while there.” He whispered. I tightened my hand around his as much as I could. “Munro, I have to tell you…you’re the strongest person I know.”

I laughed slightly, which caused me to cough. “I had a lot of people to keep me going.”

“When I went to try out for X-Factor, I broke up with my girlfriend at the time. From then on, I never really dated anyone, never found anyone that I wanted to share this life with. People are hard to trust when you’ve got a swimming pool full of cash.”

I interrupted him, “It better be an indoor cash pool. Or you’ll be losing cash all the time.”

He laughed, “It’s indoor. I call it the bank.” I imagined a smile on his face. “Anyway, when I met you, I wasn’t too crazy about you. Yeah, you’re beautiful, but I didn’t think I could trust you. But as we hung out and you shared things with me, I shared things with you and you opened up to us all, let us in…I grew to really like. I even became jealous a lot. I was afraid you’d go for one of the other guys.”

“El was sure I was going to go after Louis.” He laughed again. “But we worked it out pretty quickly when she found out I kissed you a few times.”

“Okay, I’ll cut to the chase, I can tell you’re getting tired of the talking.” I smiled and waited. There was a long pause. “Munro, I don’t like you.” My smile faded quickly, “I love you.”

My heart began racing. “Okay, listen here. I can’t see, so you’re going to have to come down here and kiss me.” He laughed as his lips pressed against mine. For the first time in what seemed like ages, I was kissing him again. As much as I wanted it to last forever, I couldn’t handle the slight pain that was still pulsing through my entire body. He pulled back the moment I let out a small whine. I didn’t give him a chance to apologize, I was speaking the moment I had air in my lungs again, “I love you too, Niall.”