Try to Scream

I wore a light colored frill top with a black skirt. I pull on a pair of Jimmy Choo black suede heels and a couple bangles. A few months went by quickly. My body is finally back to how it used to be and with my luck, I have very few scars to worry about. And most of those are going to fade as well.

In the short time that flew by, I was surrounded by endless questions. Everyone wants the inside story from me and I really don’t want to talk to anyone. I just want to forget it all. But I know, I have to say something sooner or later.

Talk show upon talk show calls my house and cell phone daily. Magazines, news papers, radio shows…. It’s pretty overwhelming.

Harry stands on the porch of my house as I walk out the door. He is my ride. His face lights up and he kisses my cheek. “You look great, Babe.” He flashes me a quick smile before leading me to the bulky, annoying limo in the driveway. “I know you said nothing extravagant, but it wasn’t my choice, swear.” His fingers draw an “X” over his heart as he helps me in the car.

“You don’t have to do this.” Liam speaks up from beside me.

“I have to. For me, not for anyone else.” He nods and I look around, curious as to where the others are. We pull up to a small building and the two help me out, leading me quietly inside.

El and Lou are sitting on the couch talking quietly while Zayn and Cora stand beside them. Cora looks worried and she has all reason to. I am finally opening up, answering all the questions that need to be answered. She spots me and rushes up. “You can stop anytime.”

“I know. Relax.” Niall comes from another room and instantly puts his arms around me. “Why did you not pick me up?” I ask, keeping the laughter from escaping.

“I’m sorry! I’ve been here trying to make sure everything is ready.” He gives me a genuine look of sadness. But he lets it go as he sees the smile on my face. I give him a quick kiss and sit in the chair across from Louis and El. They give me soft smiles and stick their thumbs up.

I reach for the laptop and open up a twitcam. If I am going to tell my story, it might as well be with people who want to hear it. I won’t be surprised if clips are used on shows later, quotes will be taken and placed in magazines and newspapers. And I am fine, which is the first thing I say. All my friend’s sit on the other side of the room, they are my support, just having them there is all I need to stay strong.

Questions suddenly pile in and I pick the first one I can read. “Was I scared?” I sigh and nod, “Yes. Trent wasn’t always the kindest person. He’d freak out about little things.”

I scan over the questions and sigh as one came up, “I didn’t know about the other girls until I read it in the papers. I’d never seen anything but the inside of his cabin and the woods I ran through. When I asked the police, they gave me copies of his journal to read and it was terrifying. I couldn’t believe how close I was to being the 9th girl under a rose bush.”

“I did meet the families of the other girls. It was very emotional for us all. I felt helpless knowing I was the only one that made it home, but the families were kind and thanked Niall and I for bringing closure.” I look over at my blond boy and smile. He nods and smiles back.

I answer some meaningless questions about what I ate, what I did while I was there. Little things like that. I try to keep my cool the whole time and give the best answers I could. Eventually, they got tired of knowing about my experience from the underground hole I was tossed in and they move on to more recent things.

“Harry and I never dated, no.” A similar question appears and I laugh. “Okay, let’s just stick with, I didn’t kiss, date or do anything with any of the other boys. We were friends the whole time, nothing more.”

My hand reaches for the necklace as questions about it pop up. I have to pull it from under my shirt and lean forward to show everyone. “It was the first and only gift I ever took from Niall. It was a spontaneous thing. I love ladybugs and he wanted to give me something to remember him by when we took the week break.”

“Niall and I….” I bite the inside of my cheek and think. “I don’t know where we will go in the future. We’ve only been together a few months. I can’t say if I will marry him. Um, we are going to take things slowly and try to do what any young couple would, be happy.”

I laugh suddenly as one of the stupid questions are asked, “Management is not as bad as everyone thinks. They are a lot nicer and they are not plotting to ruin the world.” I turn the laptop and face it to the boys. “See those love bugs on the couch there, yeah, that’s called love.” I pull it back and smile at the screen, “Stop rooting against them, they are the best couple I’ve ever met.”

Cora shoots me a look and I roll my eyes. “One of the best couples.”

“Oh…wow. Okay.” I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “Did-did I think I was going to die?” When I thought all the questions were over, I found out I was wrong. “Honestly, the whole time I was there I was fighting to live. His tempter was outrageous and I was walking on glass at all times. I did think I was going to die and for a while, I accepted that. I spent the last few hours just thinking about how much I wish I could say goodbye to all my friends and family. I didn’t want to fight anymore.”

Niall stands up as he notices how sad I’ve become suddenly. I wave him off and continue talking. “I can’t answer all your questions and I really want to, but just know… I am not a perfect human being, I am not the toughest girl. People think I am this unbreakable rock, but honestly, I was down to just begging for him to kill me. Call me what you want, but I’m just human, I’m a human that went through something huge. It did break me, I do wake up from nightmares and I am afraid of every little bump in the night. It’s going to take me a long time to ever feel safe again.”

Niall comes over and hugs me, I didn’t notice the tears that are fall from my eyes. I had yet to tell him about all this, they are all just hearing it now. Niall takes over, “We are going to stop the chat now. Thank you for all your questions.” I hide my face against his shoulder as he turns off the laptop.

I mumble against his shirt, “I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to break down.”

“As you said, you’re only human. You don’t have to ever do that again.” I nod and pull back, trying to fix the makeup that I know is running with my tears. Niall smiles and helps me, his thumb wipes lightly at my face and under my eyes. “You’re so beautiful.” He kisses me and the room suddenly erupts into a chorus of “Ew”s

We pull apart and stand up. “So, who’s up for an adventure?” I ask.

Louis jumps up first, he grabs Cora’s car keys from the table and smiles. “I know the perfect place.”