A Train To Anywhere

Liam sighed, staring at the phone in front of him. It had been a few days since he had left London and he was sure the boys were worried. He lifted the receiver, placing it onto his ear. He began pressing the numbers he knew too well before shaking his head and slamming the phone back down.

“Alright there, Liam?” Astin asked, flipping through a magazine she was currently looking through. She didn't look up, finger twisting a single strand of her hair and chewing on her bottom lip.

Finally, Astin closed the magazine and turned to her friend, resting her elbows on her knees and staring at him. Liam shrugged, dropping his shoulders. He was so confused as to what to do.

“I don't know what to say to them.” He replied, reaching into his pocket and tracing along the edges of small pill that hid in his lining. For the first time since the addiction started, Liam actually didn't feel the urge to pop the pill. He removed his hand from his pocket and stared over at Astin, who was busy picking at her fingernails.

Liam had noticed over the days he had known Astin, she was growing more pale and sickly by the day. He hadn't thought much of it at first but now, as he looked at her -her sunken cheeks and the dark circles under her eyes- he knew something was wrong.

“Just tell them you needed to get away for a bit. Catch your breath and what not.” Astin pushed herself up from the stool and walked to the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Liam sighed, reaching over and grabbing the phone once more. He dialed the number once more but this time, he let it ring. And ring. And ring.

“Hello?” Niall groaned. Liam smiled, even though Niall sounded nothing like his normal self. His voice was scratchy and it sounded like he had been crying recently. Liam then felt guilty, dropping his head and closing his eyes. He had done this. He had turned Niall into a mess when he's usually so put together. “Hello?” Niall repeated.

Liam couldn't bring himself to open his mouth. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't speak a word to his best friend.

“Look, you arse, if you're not going to speak, don't ring me again.” Just before Niall ended the call, Liam squeaked out a small, “Hey bud.”

The line was quiet and Liam assumed Niall had hung up. “Liam? Is that you?” Niall whispered. Liam let out a breath and nodded even though the blonde on the other end couldn't see him. “Liam.” Running his fingers through his hair, Liam sniffled.

“Look mate, you don't have to talk, not if you don't want to. We just want you to know that we're all here for you and we want you to come home.” Niall said.

“Come home, Liam. We all miss you so much.” Harry chimed in. Liam couldn't handle it anymore. He curled over in his stool, sobbing full on tears into his knees. A pair of hands rested on his back and Liam began to slowly calm down. “Liam, please.”

“I can't. Not yet.” Liam dropped the phone, letting it swing ack and forth from the cord. Astin sighed, hanging the phone up before lifting Liam's head.

“You alright?” She asked, resting her hand on his cheek. Liam closed his eyes, nuzzling into her palm before shaking his head. Astin leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him as tight as she could. “It's going to be okay, Li. I'm going to make it okay. I promise.”

Liam wanted to believe her. He wanted to believe that she could fix everything. But he knew she couldn't because he was fucked up to the point of no return.