Status: Posted originally on my tumblr...
Blue Eyes Don't Lie
Chapter 1.
I couldn’t stop running.
I needed to get away. I can’t believe he did that.
“He fucked her,” I whimpered through thick tears.
It all started at her party. One stupid drunken night. We were both drunk, and got together. Mistake, right? We talked all day the next day, and I saw him after college on the Monday. He was sweet, and I really liked him. I thought he liked me too.
I heard footsteps behind me, I didn’t want to stop.
“Liz, wait!” I knew that voice anywhere. It made my blood run cold.
“Fuck off, Sam. I don’t wanna talk to you!” I yelled back.
“Please, just hear me out. She means nothing! It was a stupid drunk night!”
“Just like ours then, I guess. Obviously I meant nothing to you, and I still don’t. You never mean anything you say. You never have and you never will. I can’t trust you.”
“You were everything. You still mean that to me. I thought she was you.”
“How can you mistake her for me? We are nothing alike! She is a slag. She cheated on two of her boyfriends with you. How does it make it any better for me?”
“I thought she was you, I promise.”
“I’ll talk to you soon.” And with that I walked away, walked away from one of the best things that I had left in my life.
--
Two weeks had passed, and I hadn’t spoken to him at all. I could hardly talk to anyone. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat. I became more withdrawn into myself. I knew I had to do something about it, so I got the courage to go and see him.
“I’m so glad you came.” He said, and attempted to kiss me.
“I only came to talk. You forget I can’t trust you.”
“You can! I swear she meant nothing to me. You are the only one I care about. Honestly Liz, I love you. No-one else.”
“I-I can’t,” I stammered. “I can’t love you, if I don’t trust you. That is the basis of a relationship Sam. Trust. And it doesn’t work if I can’t trust you.”
“I’ll prove it to you that you can. I just need time.”
“Maybe. I need to see that you really mean what you say. You can’t see her again.”
“Why? I’m not forcing you to stop seeing Joe!”
“Yes. But I didn’t fuck him while we were together. That is my only request.”
“Are you being serious?! You cannot dictate who I can and can’t see!”
“Do you want to see me again? This is the only thing I have asked you not to do, Sam! I knew what you were like when we got together, and I knew you two had a history and I overlooked that. Please. Just do this.”
“Fine. Do you want to do something?”
“No. I need to go and see Sarah and ask for her explanation.”
“Will you tell her? That I can’t see her again?”
“Yes. I’ll… Talk to you later I guess.”
“Do I get a goodbye kiss?” I nodded and kissed him goodbye. It felt… Different. I knew it was because our relationship was different now. “I love you.”
“Mmm. Talk to you later.” I think he took offence to the fact I didn’t say ‘I love you’. I can’t say something I don’t mean. The second I got back in my car, I called Sarah.
“Hey Liz! Are you okay? I’m so, so sorry!”
“I need to speak to you. Is it okay if I come over?”
“Yes, come over anytime!”
“I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”
“Okay, see you soon.” And I hung up the phone.
--
The explanation was pretty much the same from Sarah, other than she didn’t think it was Elliott. And for that I just ranted at her, saying she couldn’t just sleep with other people’s boyfriends whenever she felt like it. When I told her she couldn’t see Sam again, she just nodded quietly and said it was a fair reason.
When my phone rang I looked to see who it was. Sam. I had a feeling he’d check on me. He knew my past.
“Hey babe, guess what I’ve got us!”
“I don’t know. What?”
“Tickets to a concert, duh! I don’t like them, but for you I’ll go.”
“Wait, wait, wait. You mean you have tickets to see You Me At Six?”
“Yes! I know they’re your favorite band, so I thought it would be a good make up present.”
“Oh. Thanks. When do we go?”
“They’re playing the Winter Gardens on 14th October. You up for it?”
“Yeah. Listen I gotta go, I’m about to drive home now.”
“Oh, okay. I’ll call you later. I love you.”
“Okay. Bye.” I hung up before he could ask why I don’t say it anymore. He knew why. I think.
--
The date of the concert got nearer, and I began to start to trust Sam again. Our relationship was getting back to where it was. He hadn’t done anything to hurt me, yet. I didn’t want him to, and I really hoped he didn’t. I’d finally trusted him enough for him to take my virginity, so I hoped even more that he didn’t do something.
“I love you.” I told him. It was the first time since he’d slept with Sarah.
“I love you, too,” He smiled. “The concert’s tomorrow, do you wanna stay over after? I mean you don’t have to. It’s only if you wanna.”
“Sure. That’d be nice.” And he took me to his bed again.
“Erm, Liz?”
“Yea?”
“We’ve run outta condoms…” His voice trailed off.
“Oh. I don’t care, we should be fine.”
And with that he didn’t waste a single second.
--
I was hot. Really hot. There were people all around me. I couldn’t see Sam. And I didn’t care. I was enjoying the concert far too much to be worried about where my boyfriend was. It was Deaf Havana playing, I really liked them, and they were playing one of my favorite songs. I think I was one of the only people there that knew it. I didn’t care.
When they finished their set, I began to look for Sam. I knew You Me At Six were up next, and I didn’t want to spend their set worrying about where he was. I wanted him to enjoy it with me. I looked by the bar and saw his back. And immediately I felt sick as hell. He was with Sarah. Kissing her. Touching her. I turned around and walked away. I went to the other side of the room, as far away from them as possible. I couldn’t believe him. I finally trusted him again, given myself to him, everything. And he threw that away again.
I enjoyed You Me At Six as much as I could, and as soon as they were done I went out the back and stood at the railings and watched the sea. I didn’t want to cry here, not with people around. I did the one thing that I knew would calm my nerves – smoked. My mum hated it. Not that she knew I did smoke. She’d kill me if she knew. Just like if she found out I’d slept with Sam.
I heard someone shuffling behind me.
“I’m not in the mood, Sam. Fuck off.”
“Bit harsh. I’m, um, not Sam.” I didn’t know whose voice it was. I spun round rapidly, scaring him and me. It was Max Helyer.
“Oh. Erm. Hi? Great set in there.”
“Are you okay? You look a little… Pissed off?”
“Am a bit… Can I help you at all? Don’t wanna seem rude, but…”
“I was wondering if you had a cigarette?”
“Oh. Sure,” I laughed, trying to ease the tension. “Sorry… about… You know.”
“It’s fine. It’s not ever-“
“LIZ!”
“Fuck’s sake. Fuck off, Sam. I don’t wanna see you again. I fucking trusted you. And you fucked it up once again. This time I mean it. FUCK OFF. I don’t want to see you again. You fucking cheated on me YET again. And this is the last time I’m taken for a fool. Do you understand?” He nodded, looking guilty, upset and angry himself. “Good, now get the fuck outta here.”
He walked away, and I was left with Max.
“Wow.” He said.
“Yeah. I may have been a little harsh…”
“From what I heard… No, you weren’t.” I jumped around, and didn’t see Josh Franceschi standing behind me.
“And you heard what, exactly?” I asked, curious to how long he’d been there.
“Just your little rant at… Sam, was it?”
“Oh. Yeah…”
“Do you… Want to come inside?” Max asked, gesturing to the tour bus.
“Only if you have vodka.” They both laughed.
“We might… You’ll have to come and see…” Josh said.
“No fair! You have to tell me!” I went with them anyway.
I needed to get away. I can’t believe he did that.
“He fucked her,” I whimpered through thick tears.
It all started at her party. One stupid drunken night. We were both drunk, and got together. Mistake, right? We talked all day the next day, and I saw him after college on the Monday. He was sweet, and I really liked him. I thought he liked me too.
I heard footsteps behind me, I didn’t want to stop.
“Liz, wait!” I knew that voice anywhere. It made my blood run cold.
“Fuck off, Sam. I don’t wanna talk to you!” I yelled back.
“Please, just hear me out. She means nothing! It was a stupid drunk night!”
“Just like ours then, I guess. Obviously I meant nothing to you, and I still don’t. You never mean anything you say. You never have and you never will. I can’t trust you.”
“You were everything. You still mean that to me. I thought she was you.”
“How can you mistake her for me? We are nothing alike! She is a slag. She cheated on two of her boyfriends with you. How does it make it any better for me?”
“I thought she was you, I promise.”
“I’ll talk to you soon.” And with that I walked away, walked away from one of the best things that I had left in my life.
--
Two weeks had passed, and I hadn’t spoken to him at all. I could hardly talk to anyone. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat. I became more withdrawn into myself. I knew I had to do something about it, so I got the courage to go and see him.
“I’m so glad you came.” He said, and attempted to kiss me.
“I only came to talk. You forget I can’t trust you.”
“You can! I swear she meant nothing to me. You are the only one I care about. Honestly Liz, I love you. No-one else.”
“I-I can’t,” I stammered. “I can’t love you, if I don’t trust you. That is the basis of a relationship Sam. Trust. And it doesn’t work if I can’t trust you.”
“I’ll prove it to you that you can. I just need time.”
“Maybe. I need to see that you really mean what you say. You can’t see her again.”
“Why? I’m not forcing you to stop seeing Joe!”
“Yes. But I didn’t fuck him while we were together. That is my only request.”
“Are you being serious?! You cannot dictate who I can and can’t see!”
“Do you want to see me again? This is the only thing I have asked you not to do, Sam! I knew what you were like when we got together, and I knew you two had a history and I overlooked that. Please. Just do this.”
“Fine. Do you want to do something?”
“No. I need to go and see Sarah and ask for her explanation.”
“Will you tell her? That I can’t see her again?”
“Yes. I’ll… Talk to you later I guess.”
“Do I get a goodbye kiss?” I nodded and kissed him goodbye. It felt… Different. I knew it was because our relationship was different now. “I love you.”
“Mmm. Talk to you later.” I think he took offence to the fact I didn’t say ‘I love you’. I can’t say something I don’t mean. The second I got back in my car, I called Sarah.
“Hey Liz! Are you okay? I’m so, so sorry!”
“I need to speak to you. Is it okay if I come over?”
“Yes, come over anytime!”
“I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”
“Okay, see you soon.” And I hung up the phone.
--
The explanation was pretty much the same from Sarah, other than she didn’t think it was Elliott. And for that I just ranted at her, saying she couldn’t just sleep with other people’s boyfriends whenever she felt like it. When I told her she couldn’t see Sam again, she just nodded quietly and said it was a fair reason.
When my phone rang I looked to see who it was. Sam. I had a feeling he’d check on me. He knew my past.
“Hey babe, guess what I’ve got us!”
“I don’t know. What?”
“Tickets to a concert, duh! I don’t like them, but for you I’ll go.”
“Wait, wait, wait. You mean you have tickets to see You Me At Six?”
“Yes! I know they’re your favorite band, so I thought it would be a good make up present.”
“Oh. Thanks. When do we go?”
“They’re playing the Winter Gardens on 14th October. You up for it?”
“Yeah. Listen I gotta go, I’m about to drive home now.”
“Oh, okay. I’ll call you later. I love you.”
“Okay. Bye.” I hung up before he could ask why I don’t say it anymore. He knew why. I think.
--
The date of the concert got nearer, and I began to start to trust Sam again. Our relationship was getting back to where it was. He hadn’t done anything to hurt me, yet. I didn’t want him to, and I really hoped he didn’t. I’d finally trusted him enough for him to take my virginity, so I hoped even more that he didn’t do something.
“I love you.” I told him. It was the first time since he’d slept with Sarah.
“I love you, too,” He smiled. “The concert’s tomorrow, do you wanna stay over after? I mean you don’t have to. It’s only if you wanna.”
“Sure. That’d be nice.” And he took me to his bed again.
“Erm, Liz?”
“Yea?”
“We’ve run outta condoms…” His voice trailed off.
“Oh. I don’t care, we should be fine.”
And with that he didn’t waste a single second.
--
I was hot. Really hot. There were people all around me. I couldn’t see Sam. And I didn’t care. I was enjoying the concert far too much to be worried about where my boyfriend was. It was Deaf Havana playing, I really liked them, and they were playing one of my favorite songs. I think I was one of the only people there that knew it. I didn’t care.
When they finished their set, I began to look for Sam. I knew You Me At Six were up next, and I didn’t want to spend their set worrying about where he was. I wanted him to enjoy it with me. I looked by the bar and saw his back. And immediately I felt sick as hell. He was with Sarah. Kissing her. Touching her. I turned around and walked away. I went to the other side of the room, as far away from them as possible. I couldn’t believe him. I finally trusted him again, given myself to him, everything. And he threw that away again.
I enjoyed You Me At Six as much as I could, and as soon as they were done I went out the back and stood at the railings and watched the sea. I didn’t want to cry here, not with people around. I did the one thing that I knew would calm my nerves – smoked. My mum hated it. Not that she knew I did smoke. She’d kill me if she knew. Just like if she found out I’d slept with Sam.
I heard someone shuffling behind me.
“I’m not in the mood, Sam. Fuck off.”
“Bit harsh. I’m, um, not Sam.” I didn’t know whose voice it was. I spun round rapidly, scaring him and me. It was Max Helyer.
“Oh. Erm. Hi? Great set in there.”
“Are you okay? You look a little… Pissed off?”
“Am a bit… Can I help you at all? Don’t wanna seem rude, but…”
“I was wondering if you had a cigarette?”
“Oh. Sure,” I laughed, trying to ease the tension. “Sorry… about… You know.”
“It’s fine. It’s not ever-“
“LIZ!”
“Fuck’s sake. Fuck off, Sam. I don’t wanna see you again. I fucking trusted you. And you fucked it up once again. This time I mean it. FUCK OFF. I don’t want to see you again. You fucking cheated on me YET again. And this is the last time I’m taken for a fool. Do you understand?” He nodded, looking guilty, upset and angry himself. “Good, now get the fuck outta here.”
He walked away, and I was left with Max.
“Wow.” He said.
“Yeah. I may have been a little harsh…”
“From what I heard… No, you weren’t.” I jumped around, and didn’t see Josh Franceschi standing behind me.
“And you heard what, exactly?” I asked, curious to how long he’d been there.
“Just your little rant at… Sam, was it?”
“Oh. Yeah…”
“Do you… Want to come inside?” Max asked, gesturing to the tour bus.
“Only if you have vodka.” They both laughed.
“We might… You’ll have to come and see…” Josh said.
“No fair! You have to tell me!” I went with them anyway.