Blue Eyes Don't Lie

“Erm… hi?” I said when I managed to recover.
“Hi,” he said, voice husky.
“I’m naked.” I stated the perfect obvious.
“I know.”
“Do you mind?” I tried to get past him to the bunk to get some clothes on.
“I guess not.”
I half ran, half walked to mine and Josh’s bunk, and when I got there I pulled the curtains shut, completely embarrassed. Why was he staring at me? He knows I love Josh, and I’ll only want to be with Josh.
I heard the outside door open then close, and I peeked through the curtains. It was empty.
“Hello?” I called out just to make sure.
I got no reply. I put on underwear so I could go and investigate. I walked round the bus, and checked all the bunks. Empty. I guess I was alone. I dialed my home phone.
“Hello?” My mother answered.
“Hi mum, it’s me… Liz.”
“Oh… hello. Where are you?”
“Um… Somewhere in America.”
“America?”
“Yeah, I’m with the guys. But I’m coming home after this tour.”
“Oh… okay. Are you going to stay at his?”
“No. He’s going to Indonesia, then Australia.”
“So I take it you’re coming here?”
“Where else am I meant to go?”
“I don’t know. I just assumed you’d want to go back to Surrey.”
“Maybe I do, but I’m not going to.”
“So you’re just going to be here when you can’t be with him?”
“Yes. And stop calling Josh ‘him’. He has a name.”
“I know. But you know who I mean.”
“Whatever. I’ll be home soon. Bye.”
“Bye.”
I tried to call Josh next, but it went straight to voicemail. He’ll have to wait.
I called Charlie instead.
“Hey Charlie, I miss you.”
“Liz? OH MY GOD. I miss you too.” I could hear the way her face was set. Half frowning, a small pout, like she normally does when she’s sad.
“Hey babe, how’ve you been?”
“Eh, alright I guess? It’s a bit boring without you.”
“Oh really? Well you’ll be glad to know I’m coming home soon.”
“You are!?”
“Yeah, after this tour when they all go to Indonesia and Australia.”
“So how is the tour?”
“Exhausting. I’m doing photography of it all.”
“Liz, that’s so good!”
“Yeah, I guess?”
“What’s happened? You sound… I don’t know… sad?”
“Yeah, my um… Uncle died yesterday.”
“Oh shit. I’m sorry.”
“Shit happens, just gotta get on with it haven’t I?”
“Yeah I guess, so tell me everything.”
I told her literally everything that had happened; from months ago, to about 30 seconds before I phoned her. It took hours. By the time I was done, I could hear the boys coming back. I’d done what I needed to do anyway.
“Charlie, I gotta go. Josh’s coming back, and I’m gonna assume he’s drunk. I’ll talk to you later though. I love you.”
“Okay, I love you too.”
We hung up, just as the door opened, and Josh stumbled in, obviously drunk.
“Hey Liz,” he said grinning stupidly.
“Christ, you’re drunk as hell.”
“Maybe,” he said cheekily.
“You are going to bed.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Don’t fucking ma’am me.”
“Yes ma’am.” He saluted mockingly and I shoved him towards the bed.
“Get in there and fucking sober up.” This was the worst I’d ever seen him.
His face dropped. He could tell I wasn’t amused by any of this. He lay down and I walked away after closing the curtain.
I went and sat on the couch and found a tipsy Matt and Max playing Fifa, and a mostly sober Dan and Chris sitting on the floor watching.
“You okay?” Dan asked.
“Yeah, I didn’t expect him to get wasted tonight. I just don’t find it funny really. I know I sound hypocritical because I was worse than him the other night, but still…” I trailed off.
“It’ll be okay,” Max said, and then patted the couch beside him. “Come sit.”
I went and sat in between Max and Matt, avoiding Matt’s eyes as I sat down.
“Everything okay?” Matt asked me. We both knew this wasn’t about Josh.
“Mhm,” I hummed. “It will be.”
“So it’s not okay?”
“It will be. Later.”
He knew I meant I’d talk to him later. I didn’t know what I was going to say when we were alone.
We sat for a few hours, playing Fifa, and waiting to see if Josh sobered up before I went to bed tonight. He didn’t.
Eventually everyone went to bed, and it was just Matt and I left.
“So…” he said awkwardly.
“Matt… what were you playing at?”
“Well, I’d just gone to the bathroom, and I came out, and you were dancing around naked.”
“I know. I meant, why did you stare at me for ages?”
“I haven’t seen a naked girl since the last time I saw Holly. Sorry for being a man.”
“Matt, is there something you want to tell me?”
“Nope. Not at all.” I could tell he was lying through his teeth.
“Matt,” I looked him dead in the eye. “Please. Tell me if you have any kind of feelings for me.”
He looked at me, and didn’t answer. He kept looking at me, then put his mouth on mine. It felt wrong. This wasn’t Josh. I love Josh, not Matt. My subconscious was telling me to stop, but I couldn’t. I was frozen. I couldn’t move. I didn’t breathe.
“Now you know,” he said; the turned his back and walked away.
I didn’t even go to the bunk to sleep with Josh. I sat back on the sofa, and fell asleep there.

--

I woke up and Josh was standing over me looking apologetic.
“Hi,” he said sheepishly.
“Hey,” I said.
“What’s wrong?”
“I-I…” I couldn’t say it. I didn’t know how.
“Liz, tell me. Now.”
“Okay,” I exhaled loudly. “Something happened last night. It started while you were out; I was here, and I thought I was by myself, but Matt was here, and I was naked, and then later while you were drunk and in bed I asked him what he was playing at and then he kissed me.”
“Oh.” He began to walk away.
“Josh, it meant nothing.”
“I’ve been cheated on before Liz. I don’t want it to happen again. Particularly in the same way.”
“I don’t want to be cheated on either. Or to cheat. I never want to do that. Honestly Josh, you have to believe me. I don’t want Matt like that. I only want you.”
“I do believe you. I’m glad you told me. Please. Don’t let it happen again. No matter how angry you get with me.”
“I won’t Josh. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
There was one problem though.
I lied.