Breaking Free

Today makes the third day I have sat waiting by Declan's bed. I can hear the all to familiar beeping of the machines and the fuzzy voices over the p.a. system. Nothing about this place feels welcoming and I don't think I'll be able to handle much longer. Some days I wake up after drifting off thinking that maybe it was all just a dream. Then I see all the tubes and machines plugged into the person I love most in this world and it all comes flooding back.

"So, you’re the infamous Cate."

I turn to see a girl dressed in almost exactly the same thing she was the day we met. A knee-length skirt, cotton not plaid, and a green cardigan.

"Becca."

A smile spreads across her face and I instinctively mirror the expression.

"I'm so glad to finally meet you. I just wish it were under better circumstances."

My recollection of our first meeting leads me to believe she's lying, but I choose to nod politely anyway.

"You don’t like me very much do you?"

I struggle to find an appropriate response and instead remain silent.

"Good. I don’t like you either."

"Wh-why?"

Her face has turned ice cold and I sense myself trying to recoil from her without success.

"Declan changed when he met you. He was all I had and you took him from me. This would never have happened if it weren't for you."

"Look, I under-"

"No. You don’t. You have no idea what it’s like to have everything you love stripped from you."

"You don’t know anything about me."

I shock myself with the amount of anger in my voice. Not only that- I think it's the first time I have ever actually stood up for myself.

"Oh, really? You mean how you're whole life is devoted to perfection? Your daddy didn't buy you the right car and you might actually have to get a job? You bought the wrong colour foundation? Your little brother won't stop annoying you? I hate to break it to you princess, but they hardly classify as real-world problems."

"We all have problems. You aren’t the only one."

She rolls her eyes and I am almost boiling over with anger.

"Did your mother leave when you were eight? Does your dad blame you for everything that goes wrong in his life? Is the only family you have on the brink of death?"

"No. My mother didn't leave and my dad doesn’t hate me. He's dead and my mother is a hooker. She hates me almost as much as my abusive brother does. In fact, last week I was in jail because she framed me for attempted murder. And no, only one of the people I love is almost dead. The other is a four year old that I am supposed to care for, for the rest of my life. I hate to break it to <i> you </i> princess, but shit gets worse."

Only after my rant do I realise that I am standing and have been slowly edging towards her. At the moment, there is less than an inch between us and the look on her face is nothing less that horror.

"I-I'm so sorry."

I mutter an apology as I quickly back away.

"Don't be. I had no idea. I'm sorry. It's just Declan is all I have."

"He's all I have, too."

"I know."

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Becca and I sat talking for hours on end, about everything and anything. For the first time since we'd met, I actually felt comfortable around her. Although it <i> was </i> only the second time. I found out things about their family that even Declan hadn't told me. I'm not saying he should have, but it was still odd.

Apparently their father treats Becca like crap. He blames her for their mother leaving- says that if Becca wasn't such a nightmare she would have stuck around. I kind of feel bad for her. I mean, my father died and that was the hardest thing that I've ever been through; but at least I know he loved me. It would be so much worse knowing that your parent had the choice to stay and be with you and then just...didn't.

"So… who's your favourite band?"

A fit of laughter escaped my throat.

"What's so funny?!"

"I dunno, maybe the complete change of subject?"

A heavy layer of sarcasm coated my words but I could see that my reaction wasn't taken very well.

"I'm sorry. Paramore."

"What?"

"Paramore is my favourite band. What about you?"

"Neon Trees."

"Who are they?"

A look of astonishment blankets Becca's face and she reaches into her front pocket. Before I can ask her what's she's doing, she pulls out an iPod and begins unravelling the headphones.

"Here."

She hands one to me and presses some buttons. A few seconds later, there is an odd, up-tempo song playing. I've never heard anything like it, but it's good. I pick up on a few of the lyrics and begin singing along. Becca notices and joins in.

"O-oh, I want some more. O-oh, what are you waiting for?"

<i> Beep…...beep…...beep...beep, beep, beep! </i>

The sound I've been dreading most in the world fills the air and lights start flashing. Doctors and nurses swarm into Declan's room and Becca and I are forced out the door. I slam my fists against the window and scream out Declan's name, clinging onto the hope that he will respond. Instead, a nurse walks over and flips the blinds. I am left blinded with no clue what's going on.

Becca and I pace the hallway waiting for someone to tell us something, anything. Mr Porter shows up and without even a glance in his daughter's direction, rushes to my side.

"Cate! Is he okay? What have they told you?"

"Nothing. We don’t know anything."

At this moment, the door to Declan's room swings open and a doctor walks out. He spots us and walks over. I can tell by the look on his face that the news isn't good. I am right.

"Mr Porter?"

"That's me."

"We did everything we could. I'm sorry."

Everything goes silent around me. I see Declan's father channel his emotions to rage and begin screaming at the doctor. Becca falls to the ground in tears. I, on the other hand, have gone completely numb. I love Declan more than anything in the world and he's gone. Forever.