Sorry Lately

She seemed so distant. It was as though her head and brains were there (her brains were always there thought) but her heart just seemed to be someplace else. She was smiling. She always smiled. She could hide anything behind those pearly teeth and cupid lips. Nobody looked at her eyes though. He could see behind her eyes; behind those flattering eyelashes and smooth eyelids. She hadn’t been sleeping very well. He could tell this because her eyes looked a little darker, a little heavier. He wondered why.
‘Granger.’
He pulled her into an empty classroom by her elbow the moment he passed her in the corridor. She didn’t react very quickly. She just kind of went with it. This made Draco wonder even more.
She looked at him with an empty wonder in her eyes. She looked slightly confused, slightly dazed. Draco didn’t speak for a moment but instead just let his eyes marvel at her face. Her hair was tied back roughly in a tight bun. A single strand of her fringe dangled down the side of her face, shaping it and emphasizing the slenderness of her cheek as it curves round her dimples. Her cherub cheeks were flamed with redness – whether it was out of embarrassment or tiredness Draco was not sure of. Her small button nose led up to her hazel eyes. They were not as bright as usual. Another worry for Draco.
‘Hermione.’ She looked up at the sound of her first name. ‘Is there something wrong?’
She blinked a few times, as if she was trying to take in what he was saying. It took a while to process before she answered.
‘You called me Hermione.’ She titled her head.
‘I have been for the past few months.’ He smirked friendly. He wondered why she was so bothered about the first name terms now.
‘But only when we’re in private.’
Draco looked around him. ‘Well I see nobody else here. Only us two.’ He turned and waved his wand at the door. The sound of the locks being pulled across the door confirmed what Hermione thought he was doing. ‘In private.’ He smiled and she returned the gesture. ‘Want to tell me what’s wrong?’
She shook her head, lifting her hand to tuck that strand of her fringe behind her hair. ‘It’s nothing.’ She murmured. ‘Just lack of sleep.’ She sighed. ‘Lack of sleep and too much thinking.’ Her hand dropped from her face and Draco swiftly caught it. He allowed their arms to dangle, tugging slightly on her hand to bring her forward. She obliged, shuffling her feet forward, her eyes never quite making contact with Draco’s.
‘Thinking? About what?’ He rubbed his thumb over her knuckles, circling each one individually whilst tracing his eyes over her lips and back over to her eyes.
She met his eyes this time. Just for a second, or maybe two. She only said one word. ‘Us.’
Draco reacted quickly, not quite knowing what he was doing. He dropped Hermione’s hand at the sound of her voice, as though he already knew what she was going to say and he knew he would have to fix something. He grabbed at her hips, allowing is hands to mould around the bones of her body. He pulled her close to him, their bodies colliding dangerously quickly but their lips meeting only a fraction apart. Draco closed the distance gently, allowing their lips to mould together. He felt a tremor through his body and was certain that she felt it too as she gripped harder onto his shoulders.
He pulled away suddenly, and leant his forehead onto hers. ‘Don’t think.’
‘But Draco--’
‘No. Please. Don’t think about us. There is nothing to think about.’
‘But Draco all these secrets and--’
‘Dammit Granger!’ He stepped back. ‘You don’t know how much you mean to me do you!? You don’t understand. I've dropped everything for you! I've lied to my peers, to my Father!’
'I've lied too Draco!'
He turned away, head in his hands. He needed to calm. He hoped she wouldn’t speak for a while. He took a breath before turning back to face her. Upon sight of her he felt a pang of guilt. She looked so vulnerable. Her head was bowed, and her feet were angled inwards. She was fiddling with her own fingers and her bun was not so tight anymore, but instead many strands of hair were escaping and making their way down to her face and neck. ‘I’m...’ Draco swallowed before continuing, ‘I’m sorry. Sorry for things that have been happening lately.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I’m getting too carried away. Too carried away in this whirlwind romance with you. The hiding, the secrecy, the deceit – it’s exciting to me. I’m a Slytherin, remember?’
Hermione smirked slightly at that, but still shuffled her feet.
Draco cleared his throat slightly, feeling slightly awkward. He had never wanted to fight for anyone before. He had never felt these strange turnings in his stomach, this sudden quickening of his pulse. He didn’t understand.
‘I’m not scared anymore, Hermione. I feel so alive. I feel so...I can feel the blood pumping through my veins, thanks to you.’
‘Draco...’ Hermione was shaking her head. Draco could feel the blood rushing from his head. ‘I cannot do this anymore.’ She stepped forward and took his hand. Her free hand stroked his cheek and quickly kissed it. ‘I fell in love too quickly everything flowed so nicely and everything worked but I can’t anymore. Ron... Ron doesn’t make me keep everything secret. With him, it’s easy. I can’t lie to him anymore. I...’ She struggled with her words, and Draco felt ill with the thought of what she was going to say, ‘I love him, Draco.’ Tears fell from her face. She was shaking so much. Draco knew.
‘You’re lying.’
‘Don’t make this anymore harder than it is Draco.’ Her voice was suddenly stern. ‘I love Ron.’
‘If you loved him, telling me this wouldn’t be so hard.’
‘I’m sorry, Draco. Sorry for things have been happening lately.’ She left swiftly, placing a peck on is lips, hardly saying goodbye, leaving Draco collapsing on his knees.
He didn’t realise how good Hermione was, and how good she was for him, until she slammed the door.