Steam Powered Hearts

I blow air through my lips, whistling an old worker tune, deep in thought. I look over at Perdita, slightly scared. She hasn't spoken to me since yesterday and I know its because I put her in an awkward situation.

Right now I can only hope that she keeps quiet. It's six in the morning and I'm taking her to her first fitting. She doesn't need company, and there are many other things I should be doing, but I feel like I owe her the protection. Fittings are never nice, and Perdita is completely oblivious to this.

We get to one of the overnight guest rooms and I knock on the door. The door swiftly swings open to reveal Giusto, some sleaze from the Mediast, a different land to Craichart, yet they still manage to have the same lack of respect for human beings.

"Leilah, long time no see-" He says curling his lip into a smile, leaning in toward me, "But your fitting is not today, petal, I checked the diary and to my disappointment 'i saw that you aren't being seen till next month." He draws back from me, bringing his attention to Perdita. The shine that appeared in her eyes this morning when I told her about the fitting went away in a flash as he leant in to inspect her.

He got so close I could see one of his mole hairs brushing against her skin, and his heavy breathing made her wince; "Instead I get treated to this lovely girl." His hand grabs at her skin around the stomach, "I see they've been feeding you."

His hand stays there for a while and he begins to jiggle her flab. I clear my throat, and his head snaps toward me. "Why are you here?" He asks, "I work alone, just me and my model." He flashes his smile of golden teeth to Perdita.

I recite my rehearsed excuse, "She's new and doesn't know her way. I have to take her to the barriers straight after and she has no idea where she is going."

He physically snarls at me and begins to snicker, "Your little games, treasure, don't work on me. This young girl can't go to the barriers and work without an outfit, and you are a liar. I don't need to see you for another month. And don't you worry, I'll make it extra special for you next time." My skin crawls as he grabs Perdita's wrist to drag her in. She looks at me as she is pulled into his room and I do nothing.

I stand there, out of ideas and excuses, with a burning embarrassment as yet another person has seen through me like glass. The door clicks shut and I can hear Giustos slimey voice begin to tease and compliment Perdita.

I think of all of his 'accidents' when misplacing his hands, squeezing my flesh, brushing up against me during the fittings. His horrid coffee breath rushing into my face as he ignores any sense of personal space.

Shaking the thoughts out of my head I return to the bunks and tell Grapes what happened with Giusto and the half hour in getting ready we laugh about the things he had done to us in the past, even though they weren't funny. Before we leave the bunks for our first shift on the barriers I pass one of the carriage cleaners working on the trains the crinkling doggie bag from yesterday.

It felt like such a weight of my shoulders passing it along.

During the shift I felt bad, mainly because I wasn't worried for Perdita and her fitting, but instead was being concerned about myself. As I spoke with the well-offs I was thinking about how see through I am. All my intentions are never hidden.

A group of well-offs I was leading jeered at me, but instead of being angered, I could only think of how Potter knew straight off that I was trying to help Taibus. Seeing as another guard was doing his round today I was pretty certain it didn't work.

And Giusto, one of the most idiotic men I have met always thinking with the wrong part of his body, saw through my excuses too. Have they always known the things I do? The rules I break?

As I greet the last traveler and lead him to his carriage I am so lost in myself that I don't realize that I lead him to the wrong carriage.

"I know you workers haven't half a brain, but I would expect you to realize that I do not belong in coach E" I look up in horror seeing the mistake I made. I begin to apologize and take him to the right carriage, but he has begun complaining now and is shouting. "I should not be made to walk more than necessary due to your idiotic error. Pathetic creatures" He spits the last two words.

I apologize again and offer a free dinner service during the journey, and whilst it quietens him down I can still feel his anger. I open the carriage door and just before he steps on he turns to me again. "You don't deserve that pretty face to go with that worthless soul of yours." He says before raising his arm and hitting me in the face.

The knock sways me, but doesn't topple me over I lean forward as I try to stop the blood running from my nose onto my clothes. I blink twice to prevent the tears from rising up, but my throat is choking up and in my mind all I can think is of how it hurts. "Oi!" I hear the well-off who hit me say. And out of reaction I look up.

He has his head poking through the window of the carriage and he is holding up one of the image-capture machines. I try to turn away but the bright flash indicates I'm too late. Grapes comes running to me, having boarded her final client and the train whistles and pulls away from the platform.

"Can I still work?" I start to say, and the words bring out the tears. Now not just from the physical pain, but the realization that, a wonky nose makes for an ugly face. No one can work barriers with that.

"Babes," She starts, "I'm always honest with you, so believe me when I say I have not got a clue what is going on under all that blood." She jokes, making me smile. A guard appears behind me and leads me off, as Grapes helps a cleaner wipe up the mess.

I'm left with matron in the med room. I look around the cramped room thinking of how these types of places are supposed to be white and clean, rather than a dingy brown. She fiddles with my face, and every brush of her finger hurts across my nose. When she finally pushes the nose back into place, the pain intensifies and my teeth tingle from it.

"He broke it. But I'll fix it." Matron says little more and keeps messing around with my face. "And even if I can't." She mutters, "Potter would probably pay surgery for your lucky soul."

What? I think, and try to say, but Matron won't let me speak. What does she mean by that statement? She tidies me up and cleans away the blood, and when I try to speak again she shushes me immediately. "Silence in my room." She states, and I'm smart enough to shut up. I take some painkillers as Potter walks in.

"Rig-" He starts, but matron has the cheek to hush him as well.

"Conversations can be held outside. She's fixed up for now, needs a few days bandaged up and off the floor. Take her away" I thank matron before she shouts at me again for talking and follow Potter out. Before he starts talking to him again I quickly ask: "Can we get some food?"

He looks at his watch and shrugs. We go to the canteen where Potter orders a roast meal and I am given the diet plan meal. Steamed fish and vegetables. Tasteless but edible, and all that worker girls get if they're in contact with well-offs. We tuck in and Potter resumes where he left off, with a half chewed roast potato still in his mouth.

"Right now young lady, you have been getting in to all sorts of trouble. Giusto had a very angry word with me earlier and I've heard about the fiasco on the platform. I'm not going to punish you for trying to get involved with Taibus but this has to stop. Right now. No more toeing the line, no more yard work, walking the dog and chatting with people. Stick to the rules Leilah."

I look up at him to gauge how serious he is. He is eating that roast potato with good spirit, so his words didn't seem to match his actions. It looks more like he is saying it because he has to, "Why don't you throw me out, like Taibus and Kelseigh?I've done plenty of bad things like you said, but you let me. Why do you let me get away with it all?"

"I'm a soft man, and you know it. 4 years under my wing and I want to take care of you," He sighs. "But of course I don't have that much pulling power in the scheme of things."

"I don't understand." I reply, confused.

"It isn't me who lets you get away with it." He says vaguely. I want to ask who lets me, but I note that there is probably a reason why he didn't specify. "You've grown into a very beautiful lady, Leilah. And for you, that's all that counts in this business."