Good Love

Annie Monaco fidgeted in the small seat as she rode the earliest airplane flight to Tempe. She clung to the armrests as the plane hit turbulence, shaking her. She turned the volume of her iPod up, trying to distract herself. Since she was flying home to be with her brother, who just so happened to be in a band, she’d decided it was best to reacquaint herself with their music. She inhaled, taking a deep breath as the guitar chords calmed her. She easily recognized it as her brother, Jared’s doing. He was amazing at guitar and always had been. When they were little and Annie got upset over something, Jared would run to her with his acoustic guitar and start humming her a tune. It was one of the only things that could ease her panic. She imagined him doing that now; sitting on the empty seat next to her, strumming the strings with his favorite, worn out pick. That, and the thought that she’d see him, soon settled the nerves in her stomach.

She always hated flying. She was counting down the minutes until the plane landed; thirty-four. It was only six in the morning but she’d been awake at the crack of dawn, throwing as many clothes and other personal items as possible into her luggage bags in a frenzy. Actually, she hadn’t slept at all last night. Not since it happened.

Annie was dreading telling Jared what happened, but she’d much rather face him than stay in Chicago. Currently, anything was better than there. She’d lived in the city since she was fourteen, when she moved there to live with her fashion-aspired aunt, leaving her older brother Jared behind. She hadn’t seen him in months, and she missed him terribly. She just wished their reunion could have been because of better circumstances, not because she was running away from Chicago.

She rolled her eyes at the thought of running away. No, she was twenty years old. In Annie’s mind, she could do whatever the hell she pleased. Though, in all honesty, she was running away. She was running away from something.

“Good morning, ladies and gentleman!” the stewardess announced brightly over the intercom. “We’ll be beginning our descent into the Phoenix airport soon, so I’m going to have to ask everyone to please fasten their seat belts!”

Annie ignored her, as she’d left hers fastened the whole ride. There was no way in hell she was taking it off.

***

When the plane landed, Annie departed as soon as possible after the stewardess informed her fellow passengers of the local temperature (which was thirty degrees warmer than Chicago. Thank God) and other connecting flights. She sped through security and headed towards the baggage claim, scanning the little crowd for her brother.

She had no trouble; it was early in the morning, after all, and the number of people in the terminal was next to none. Though, Jared’s flop of red-hair always made him easy to spot.

“Annabelle!” he said, enveloping her into a giant bear hug.

“Hi, Jared,” she said, laughing little. “I’ve missed you so much,” she whispered.

“I missed you too, Annie. Are you okay?” he asked, a look of concern growing on his face.

Well. Here it goes. Annie groaned internally. She didn’t know if she was quite ready for that conversation yet. “I’m doing okay.” She saw the baggage carousel moving and used it as an excuse to stall him. “I’m going to go find my bags, okay?”

He nodded and waited for her. He could tell that his baby sister was hiding something; something big this time, too. Annie had always been secretive and inclusive, but Jared was the only one who could read her like a book. Most of the time. Watching her grab her bags and smile lightly when she noticed him staring at her, he decided that today was not one of those times.

***

Annie awoke in an unfamiliar bed, her white-blonde hair covering her face. She was disoriented by her surroundings until she realized she was in Jared’s guest bedroom. Thank god he had his own apartment. She didn’t think she could stand staying in the same house as her parents. Not that she didn’t love them. She just wished to keep her distance from them, which was why she moved to Chicago in the first place.

She groaned and got out of bed, padding through the hallway until she reached the tiny kitchen, where Jared sat, eating pizza and messing around on his iPhone.

“Oh, hey. You’re up,” he said. “I ordered a pizza, if you’re hungry.”

She nodded and yawned. “Thanks. What time is it?” She looked around for a clock, but couldn’t find one.

“About three. Sleep good?”

She nodded and smiled at her older brother, which was actually the truth. She hadn’t expected to, but once she lied down on the mattress that was now hers -either temporarily or permanently- she was out like a light. She believed it was because she was finally away from that godforsaken city. Either that, or the fact that she’d finally told Jared what had happened two nights ago: the reason she’d desperately called him and asked to come home. She’d expected to feel worse after telling him, but instead she felt better; lighter, like a part of the giant weight was taken from her shoulders. Jared hadn’t reacted so well, but he seemed to have calmed down since they’d gotten home.

Jared sighed, watching Annie gingerly take a bite of pepperoni pizza. He’d ordered it because it was her favorite, or at least used to be. Now, she looked like she could throw up.

He felt like he could throw up, too, as he thought of what Annie told him early this morning, when they’d arrived at his three-bedroom apartment. He’d always been protective of his little sister. As kids, they’d been the best of friends, and that had continued throughout their lives, even though Annie lived hundreds of miles away. There was nothing that could break brother and sisterly love, which was partly why Jared was so upset over the news he’d learned. His little sister had gotten hurt and he hadn’t been there to stop it.

“Are you okay?” Jared asked, for what seemed like the millionth time to Annie.

“Yes, Jare, I’m fine!” she sighed. “I’m not very hungry. I think I’m going to go shower, okay?” She wanted to wash the past week’s events off her.

He nodded. “Tessa’s coming over later, so don’t take too long!” Tessa, his girlfriend of four years. Annie had met her during one of her annual visits in Arizona, and the two girls instantly became friends. In the back of her mind, she prayed Jared wouldn’t tell Tessa why she was home, but he probably would. Even though she’d made him promise he wouldn’t tell a single soul.

Annie stepped out of her clothes and into the shower, making the water so hot it burned her skin. She didn’t care, though. If the steaming water burned off an entire layer of skin, then she’d be happy. She wouldn’t feel so dirty.

The past nights hit her like a freight train, right then. She’d held it in throughout the plane ride, the ride home, and while she told Jared all about it, but standing in the shower, so vulnerable and victimized, she could feel tears running down her already-soaked cheeks.

She took the bar of soap -which was next to a different assortment of manly shampoo and body wash- and scrubbed it on her skin vigorously, her body convulsing from the memories of it all. She felt violated; and she felt like that violation had soaked straight through her pores and into her veins. Now it was a disease that she had no cure for.

Suddenly she just couldn’t stay strong anymore; her legs felt weak. She sat down on the floor of the shower, the water hitting her legs and stomach. She curled into a ball and willed herself to be somewhere, anywhere, but in her own body.

***

“Annie, hun, are you alright?” a feminine voice called, though it was muffled by the heavy wooden door and the running water of the shower.

Annie raised her head at Tessa’s voice. She didn’t know how long she’d been sitting there, but it was long enough for the water to go cold. “I’m fine, Tess,” she said.

“Can I come in? I have clothes for you.”

Annie sighed. She felt so defeated; so weak and unhealthy and drained. At this point, she had no fight left in her.

Annabelle Monaco, the rebellious, fierce, hard-headed girl who used to love life, was ready to give up.

“Come in,” she answered, shutting off the water. She heard the door creak open, and then she could feel Tessa’s familiar presence. A few seconds later, her manicured hand shoved past the shower curtain, holding a towel.

Annie took it, wrapping it around herself before opening the curtain, revealing Jared’s girlfriend. Her hair was perfectly curled and her jeans hugged her slim waist. Annie almost laughed as she looked at both of their figures in the mirror; her and Tessa’s hair color was so alike, they could have been sisters. Though, Annie wasn’t sure if Tessa’s hair was naturally white-blonde like hers.

“How are you?” Tessa asked lightly, the compassion laced in her voice.

Annie shrugged. “Great.”

Tessa pursed her lips. “Jared told me what happened.” She shook her head. “I’m so sorry, Annie.”

Annie let out a bitter laugh. “You aren’t the one who raped me, Tess. Don’t apologize.”

Tessa bit her lip, then smiled lightly and held out a pile of clothes to Annie. “Here, put these on. Then I want to go for a walk. I have something to tell you.”